Kamala Harris: Hip-Hop Queen of Cringe

Kamala Harris: Hip-Hop Queen of Cringe

Kamala Harris: Hip-Hop Queen of Cringe

Move over, Beyoncé , and let Kamala Harris take over! While fentanyl continues to come across the border, Hawaiians are still lamenting their losses, and her boss, Pudding Pop is sharting his drawers, Kamala celebrates the 50th anniversary of Hip-Hop with some of her closest friends.

I mean, after all, a girl’s got to let her hair down…all those Venn Diagrams can make someone’s head spin. And this is indeed what Kamala did:

Hip-Hop is Black America’s CNN? Dear Lord. Harris did not actually say this, rapper Chuck D did back in the day. Can’t could on Kamala to say something as mindful and thought-provoking as this. But, she did take the opportunity to offer up some of her word salads before attempting the Cabbage Patch:

Hip hop is the ultimate American art form. Born at a back to school party in the Bronx, raised on the streets of Philadelphia, Chicago, Oakland and Atlanta, hip hop now shapes nearly every aspect of America’s popular culture and it reflects the incredible diversity and ingenuity of the American people.”-Kamala Harris

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do like a good Hip-Hop song every now and again. I have been known to blast the Sugar Hill Gang and some Snoop Dogg. As an “old lady”, I prefer the old school stuff, personally, because it was fun and while some of it made a statement, it wasn’t the hip-hop we hear today. Kamala laments a bit more:

To be clear, hip hop culture is America’s culture. It is music and melody and rhyme. Hip hop is also an ethos of strength and self-determination; of ambition and aspiration; of pride, power and purpose. Hip hop is a declaration of identity. It says I love who I am. I represent where I come from, and I know where I’m going.”-Kamala Harris

Dayum, Kamala. Get it, girl. Music and melody and rhyme. Sure. Ethos of strength and determination? Since we are on the topic of the Obamas’ dear friend, Beyoncé, let’s delve into her “evolution” from Destiny’s Child, to marrying Jay-Z and bringing children into this world, shall we? Beyoncé is a staple on the mainstream hip-hop scene.

Exhibit 1: from a song called “Cuff It” on the album Renaissance:

Hypersonic, sex erotic / On my body, boy, you got it / Hit them ‘draulics while I ride it / Got me actin’ hella thotty.”-Beyoncé

Nothing says feminism and ambition and aspiration and self-determination like doing the deed, amiright? That’s a girl who knows where she’s going.

Exhibit 2: from a song called “Energy“:

I just entered the country with derringers / ‘Cause them Karens just turned into terrorists.”-Beyoncé

Ethos of strength and determination and hate. Hey, “Karen” (aka any white girl in America), you still got that seat to Queen Bey’s sold-out show? Sell it. She does not know you but she hates your guts. Just saying.

Exhibit 3: from a song called “Church Girl“:

Put your lighters in the sky, get this motherf#cker litty / She gon’ shake that ass and them pretty tig ol’ bitties

Must be the cash ’cause it ain’t your face / It must be the cash ’cause it ain’t your face.”-Beyoncé

Nothing says power and purpose like dropping f-bombs and pride like shaking your ass and “tig ol’ bitties”. Then, there’s hooking up with a guy for his money because he’s ugly as sin. So empowering to women or something…

Exhibit 4: From a song called “Plastic on the Sofa“:

I think you’re so cool / Even though I’m cooler than you.”-Beyoncé

Passive-aggressive bullying is an art form. Enough said. It’s no wonder why teenage girls can be so mean and nasty to one another. Look at their powerful, purposeful, strong, determined, ambitious role models! All of these lyrics are just from ONE album.

Hey, “Karens”? Still want to take your daughters to that Beyoncé show?

…generations of hip hop artists helped to elevate the collective conscience through their voices.”-Kamala Harris

Dang. There will still be those who defend Kamala and her hideous outfit:

The only thing missing was a gigantic clock around her neck. Kamala, what time is it? Time to do the pop n’ lock, let’s get krumping. Joey is away, the Notorious Veep will play. I’m sure there was no suspicious white powder nose-candy to be found. Too bad Hunter wasn’t around. That party would have been lit, lit, yo.

I see a new dance move on the horizon. It’s called the Kamala Cackle. Go ahead, Ms. Harris, sip on that gin and juice, laid back, and keep your mind on your money and your money on your mind. Scratch that, I forgot. There is no money there because it’s all ours. And there is no mind there, either. What? What?

Photo Credit: Original Artwork by VG, Darleen Clock

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