Gentle Reminder: Bowe Bergdahl is NOT a Victim!

Gentle Reminder: Bowe Bergdahl is NOT a Victim!

Gentle Reminder: Bowe Bergdahl is NOT a Victim!

I guess it’s en vogue these days to make really crappy life decisions, suffer the inevitable consequences, and then blame everyone else for your plight. We’ve seen it with Chelsea Manning, we’ve seen it with repugnant sexual predator Anthony Weiner, and we’re now seeing it with Hollygrope rapist Harvey Weinstein.

The latest snowflake refusing to take responsibility for his own actions and waving around his victim dick is Army deserter Bowe Bergdahl, who pleaded guilty today to charges of desertion and misbehavior before the enemy in a military proceeding at Ft. Bragg. In case you’re wondering what a “victim dick” is, it’s when someone figuratively drops trou and waves around his little winky, drawing attention to his victim status. “HEY! LOOK AT MY VICTIM DICK! MY VICTIM DICK IS OUT, SEE?” (Much thanks to a buddy on social media who suggested this turn of phrase.)

In an interview aired by Good Morning America today, Bergdahl sniveled that it was “insulting” that he’s being portrayed as a traitor. You got that, boys and girls? The traitorous little prick is offended that after walking away from his duty station, hooking up with the enemy, causing the deaths of and grave injuries to several fellow service members, and finally being exchanged for five terrorist Taliban scum, who are running around, no doubt planning more attacks on Americans, poor little Bowe is offended at the “traitor” moniker!

Let’s remind ourselves, shall we, what that shit gibbon actually did.

He walked away from his duty station, left his weapon, and went looking for the Taliban.

Bergdahl and his Haqqani BFF are all smiles!

Reports of his captivity vary. If you believe him, he was captured, kept in a cage, and treated like an animal. If you believe those reports, he also tried to escape and was punished for it. If you believe others, he played soccer, chilled with his Taliban buddies, and provided information that led to attacks against our troops.

Eyewitness accounts recount Bergdahl had at some point decided he was going to be a warrior for Islam, whose captors even allowed him to carry a gun at times. Emails he sent to his parents prior to his desertion say he was ashamed to be an American. If this is true, punishment for misbehavior before the enemy should be the least of the charges against him! I vote wood chipper. Feet first.

Additionally he admitted to a fellow troop that if the deployment wasn’t badass enough for his standards, he would just walk, and that’s exactly what he did, resulting in years of rescue efforts, American casualties, and the release of five high-value Taliban prisoners in exchange for his worthless ass. This wasn’t about trying to draw attention to leadership failures. This wasn’t about a gnawing conscience about his mission in Afghanistan. This was about a narcissistic dick weasel, who was rejected by the French Foreign Legion, probably because his ego was writing checks his body couldn’t cash.

“He wanted to be a mercenary, wanted to be a free gun,” says [Jason] Fry. “He had a notion he was a survivalist, claimed he knew how to survive with nothing because he grew up in Idaho…. Before we deployed… him and I were talking about what it would be like,” Fry recalls. Bowe looked at his friend and made no bones about his plans. “If this deployment is lame,” Bowe said, “I’m just going to walk off into the mountains of Pakistan.”

But in an interview with Sean Langan last year, Bergdahl whined he couldn’t get a fair trial in the United States, because now-President Trump said on the campaign trail Bergdahl was a traitor who should have been shot as such.

Whether or not Bergdahl is a traitor is up to the court to decide. He’s lucky he’s in a country that insists that every accused bag of rancid effluvia gets a fair trial – a luxury he would not have been afforded in other shitholes of the world.

That said, DAMN STRAIGHT his deserting his place of duty and his unit, leaving his equipment, and walking into the Taliban’s open arms isn’t going to endear him to any jury, regardless of what Trump said or didn’t say a year ago! It’s not like his story isn’t well known, and I doubt Trump’s words last year mattered much, given the amount of coverage Bergdahl’s story has received.

But, you know, he just had to whip out his victim dick and wave it around, to remind people how offended he is at the “traitor” label, and how the cards are stacked against him because of evil Trump!

We may as well go back to kangaroo courts and lynch mobs that got what they wanted,’ Bergdahl said. ‘The people who want to hang me, you’re never going to convince those people.

Well, you’re definitely not going to convince them by whining about how unfair everything is after you committed egregious acts against your fellow troops, you blithering buttnozzle! And I don’t believe for a moment you are feeling any kind of remorse for what you did and the damage you caused! The fact that you are avoiding a public trial that is sure to expose your egregious acts of treachery, by pleading guilty to desertion and misbehavior before the enemy, makes you a coward in my eyes, in addition to a possible traitor.

You are NOT a victim.

You are at best a moron who has no ability to gauge the consequences of your actions, and at worst a traitor who needs to face a firing squad.

Either way, the President’s words are of no consequences. You received as much justice as you deserved, bitch.

Written by

Marta Hernandez is an immigrant, writer, editor, science fiction fan (especially military sci-fi), and a lover of freedom, her children, her husband and her pets. She loves to shoot, and range time is sacred, as is her hiking obsession, especially if we’re talking the European Alps. She is an avid caffeine and TWD addict, and wants to own otters, sloths, wallabies, koalas, and wombats when she grows up.

  • parker says:

    I saw no to a firing squad. Life in Leavenworth breaking rocks and no visitation rights. And I hope he lives to be 100.

  • Scott says:

    Marta, as always, a great post! This time i had enough forethought to put down my coffee before reading, so that i didn’t need to replace my computer… yeah, this guy just needs to go away, hopefully the court will throw the book at him

    • Marta Hernandez says:

      Thanks, Scott! Glad you had no spewing incidents today! As an Army veteran, seeing his foul face everywhere is making me want to punch damage my screen. >:(

  • GWB says:

    Hollygrope rapist Harvey Weinstein

    Oh, he groped a lot more than Holly! 😉

    what that shit gibbon actually did

    And now you slander gibbons. *smh*

    I vote wood chipper.

    Do you have any idea how that gums up a wood chipper? Blecch. Rope and a tree/scaffold is cheaper (seen the price of a large wood chipper?!) and easier.

    a narcissistic dick weasel

    And now mustelids. Is there anyone you won’t insult this morning?

    ‘The people who want to hang me, you’re never going to convince those people.’

    Well, not without some countervailing facts that actually establish that you, you know, didn’t do the things you’re accused of. Just whining that you had some grand ulterior motive doesn’t actually negate the facts proving you committed those very crimes. No, you’re never going to convince those of us who actually live in a fact-based world.

    Normally, if you plea to some charges, there are other charges on the table that get swept away. Or because someone agreed to give you less than some sentence. Neither of those appear to be the case here (I don’t think he was ever charged with treason, and the life sentence is still on the table, according to prosecutors). So, the only other reasons he might plead are 1) he thinks he can Manning-out of his sentence, or 2) his lawyer basically said “ya can’t win this, and a trial will just make you look even worse; plead and suck it up,” and Bergdahl went with that.

  • Marta Hernandez says:

    Yes, but think about the green grass and flowers which will grow once that swine is mulched!

  • Bandit says:

    He’s a deserter and traitor – or what the Dems call ‘served honorably’

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