Round one of the Democrat debate played out like a disorganized stump speech session. They decried Pharma’s influence, while accepting their donations. A tier one candidate shared the stage with the “who?”. But the highlight were the responses in the twitterverse.

Disorganized Debate Dialogue

Unlike an actual debate, where the candidates engage each other, this event is a debate in name only. The candidates responses to the kool-aid swilling moderators is more “town hall” than debate. The moderators asked few follow up questions to the stump speech answers, and none of the candidates was required to defend their position. The paid ads for relaxation techniques offered a useful reminder for the TV audience to breathe.

The event played out like a slow motion intersectionality pile-up. When asked about women’s “reproductive rights” abortion rights the male candidates jumped on the topic like they had all the answers. Showing complete disregard that their stage was shared with three women. Democrat dogma demands that men let those with a uterus respond. Unless that candidate is Julian Castro, who wants “reproductive justice” and abortion access for Trans-Women. Poor guy, he needs a science book. A Trans-female can not get pregnant. “She” was born a dude.

Intersectional Language Debate

The candidates failure to hold productive debates didn’t eliminate their desire to compete with “parlance pandering.” What should have been an easy answer by Robert Francis O’Rourke became a lesson in “Spanish 101” by Roberto Fransisco. I don’t know if he actually answered the question because I don’t speak Spanish (Sorry Abuela, I know you tried, but I’m a guera.). Apparently, Roberto felt the need to prop up his lagging numbers by highlighting his language skills. Once that floodgate opened, it was like a run on the southern border.

Not one to be bested by Bobby Frank, Julian Castro swapped between Spanish and English for his answers. Even the moderator jumped on board and asked questions in Spanish. This may have played well to the Miami audience, but not to middle American and Black American voters. When Rosario Dawson’s boyfriend  Cory Booker joined in, the debate officially jumped the shark. His expression when Roberto Fransisco responds in Spanish is amused shock, and awe “crap! I gotta up my game!”. I almost want to watch it on Telemundo just to hear the translators re-work their gringo Spanish.

Debate…. But Those Dollars

On the Chicken Little scale of  problems, “Big Pharma” fell between “Orange Man BAAADDD!” and “Climate change will kill the world!”. The candidates treated Big Pharma as the evil profiteer in the failing health care system. This may create about $540,000 problems for tomorrow’s debate candidate, Kirsten Gillibrand. That’s her current take from Big Pharma. I hope the second set of candidates is more oppositional than this set. If they don’t start culling their numbers, this debate cycle will be on repeat at sleep study centers. Should the candidates do their homework, these numbers from Open Secrets will give them some ammunition to narrow down their herd.

And The Winner Is…

We are all losers for having sat through 2 hours of insipid questions, and formulary answers, from candidates as fresh as “Day Old” bread. The stage can be summed up as “Democrat Brady-Jefferson Bunch.” It’s a sad day when the Twitter responses are better than the actual debate. Unlike the candidates, social media did not disappoint. In an amazing feat of twitter skills, candidate Tulsi Gabbard live tweeted during the debate. More accurately her sister. Who for some reason didn’t use her own account to dis Elizabeth Warren…. If only Warren had her phone handy. Maybe we would have gotten some action beyond dueling Spanish.

It's clear who MSNBC wants to be president: Elizabeth Warren. They're giving her more time than all the other candidates combined. They aren't giving any time to Tulsi at all. -V (Tulsi's sister)

— Tulsi Gabbard (@TulsiGabbard) June 27, 2019

Never one to be left out of the action, Lindsay 2.0 Graham nailed it with his tweet about the “technical difficulties” following the moderator transition.

God bless the NBC technician who gave us a “break” from the Democratic debate.#AmericanHero

— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) June 27, 2019

Second Verse, Boring As the First

If the candidates have any hope of making it to the second debate, they need to light a fire under their responses and engagements. Warren, Booker, and Castro are guaranteed to continue in the primary debates. Warren looks like the only adult in the room, and she’s a solid wonk who has binders of policy. Booker and Castro are the only non-white men in the field. Bobby Roberto Frank O’Rourke may be around for #2, but he lacks the chops to stand on the stage with a Populist, and a Socialist. If the Dems advance White men, then it is Sanders and Biden. Tune in tonight and see who survives the boredom of round two. Odds are that we will hear the same tired answers from candidates who think being “not Trump” is good enough to get a vote.

Featured Image: Basel Country Cantonal Police License: public domain