Coward Works To Destroy Relationship With Daughter

Coward Works To Destroy Relationship With Daughter

Coward Works To Destroy Relationship With Daughter

A letter to an advice columnist from a sniveling, hysterical, unhinged coward who claims to love his 24-year-old daughter, even as he excoriates the young lady for daring to own a pistol and calls her an untrustworthy, irresponsible would-be criminal has me hot under the collar this morning.

The columnist, Amy Dickinson, gave a bit of life advice to this walking bag of oozing vaginosis, who apparently needs validation for his whining cowardice and confirmation that he’s doing the “right” thing censuring the daughter he claims to love for her perfectly legal, logical life choice not to become a victim.

And that advice was just as stupid, uninformed, and politically motivated as the pathetic plea for affirmation.

Dear Amy: This week I discovered that my intelligent, hard-working, responsible 24-year-old daughter (who lives with me) is a gun owner! And it’s not a normal gun either — it is a 40 caliber semi-automatic, and she has hollow point bullets to go with it.

Translation: Dear Amy: I raised my daughter, and although I claim she’s intelligent, hard-working, and responsible, I really don’t trust her with the most effective self-defense tool on the market today. I know nothing about guns. I have no idea what a “normal” gun is, but I’m sure it looks like one of those muskets they used to carry during the Revolutionary War. It certainly can’t possibly look like a scary black semiautomatic pistol with *GASP* hollow point bullets! Now pardon me while I go shit myself in fear and contemplate where I went wrong, because I certainly didn’t teach my intelligent, hard-working daughter to take responsibility for her own safety and her own life! I can’t imagine where she would learn that, because it wouldn’t be from me, as I’d teach her to wait until the cops arrived to save her and maybe lie back and enjoy the rape for a bit.

For the record, there’s nothing abnormal about a .40 caliber semi-automatic pistol. The most popular calibers are still 9mm and .45 ACP (which is what I carry regularly), but I do own a Glock 23, which is a .40 caliber, and it’s just fine depending on what I’m wearing that day and yes, I have hollow points for that one too. In addition, semi-automatic pistols are by far the most popular guns for regular citizens and primary handguns for police and military use, but apparently this festering hemorrhoid simply squeals in panic, rather than doing some actual research.

Amy, this is the kind of weapon a criminal would possess! She says it is for emergencies. There have only been two home invasions in our neighborhood in the last 11 years.

Photo courtesy of Oleg Volk

Translation: Amy, anyone who owns a popular handgun and wants to defend themselves must be a criminal! I don’t care that millions of law-abiding Americans own these types of guns! Criminals possess weapons, and… Oh, here I go again. Shat myself. Time for another panty change. Also, we’ve never had a fire in the neighborhood, so we feel strongly we don’t need a fire extinguisher or alarms. Those are so rare, you know!

For the record, according to police, 79 percent of guns confiscated from criminals are either revolvers or handguns. In addition, 41 percent of the weapons that are seized from criminals are completely non-functional! For the most part, criminals are dumb. They carry pistols that are popular and widely available, but according to police, they carry broken guns, or they load them with the wrong ammunition, and therefore, most victims of crime aren’t shot.

Previous research conducted by the Bureau of Justice Statistics tells us that in all criminal victimizations with firearms; only 11 percent of the victims were shot or shot at. When criminal attacks with all weapons (knives, clubs, etc.) are included, less than one percent of armed criminal victimizations resulted in a gunshot wound.

But to this sniveling turd, the fact that his “intelligent, hard-working” daughter chooses to own a popular tool of self-defense in case she’s faced with an emergency means that the evil gun somehow has turned her into a criminal.

I’ve given her three choices: She can either give her weapon to me, sell it, or move out in three weeks.

I love my daughter and would be so sad for her to move into a place that she would hardly be able to afford, but now I have to lock my bedroom door at night because I don’t know what she’s going to do

Translation: I don’t trust my “intelligent, hard-working” daughter to be a responsible gun owner, even though I claim she is responsible. I’m terrified that having an evil gun in the house will turn her into a criminal, so I’d rather toss her out on the street than have that evil implement in my house. I know I said she was “intelligent, hard-working” and responsible, but what if she shoots me in the middle of the night? Oh. My. Here I go again. I’m going through underwear faster than Usain Bolt through the tape at the finish line!

I honestly am having a hard time believing this is even a real letter, to tell you the truth! The number of contradictions and hysterical fallacies is so staggering, that I’m surprised this blithering shit socket can use a fork at mealtime without stabbing itself in the face, let alone write a coherent missive.

Now she says that I don’t trust her, and is barely speaking to me. How can I convince her to stop endangering us?

Translation: I know I claim she’s “intelligent, hard-working” and responsible, but I have to lock my door at night, because I think she could shoot me. I have no idea why she would think I don’t trust her! I mean, she’s endangering us and everything! Also, I’m out of underwear, so I’m going to do laundry. Please respond soon!

And then, there’s the response:

Dear Dumbfounded: According to my research, possessing hollow point bullets is illegal in 11 states; is it legal in your state to own this sort of exploding ammunition?

In a report published in 2015, researchers at the University of Chicago found that 31 percent of households reported having a firearm in 2014, down from about 48 percent in 1980.

According to this study, there are more guns, but concentrated in fewer households. Why must your household be one of them?

Where did your daughter get this weapon and ammunition? Has she received any safety training or certification? (Accidental gun death is a substantial risk of owning a gun.) Is she perhaps engaged in another activity outside of your household that exposes her to increased risks and makes her believe she needs to have a weapon?

I have news for you: A locked bedroom door is no match for this weaponry; as I write this, just five days ago a father in South Carolina tragically shot and killed his own 23-year-old daughter through a closed door — when he mistook her for an intruder.

I agree with your ultimatum; I also weep that there is yet another (likely unsafe) gun owner in this country.

According to the National Shooting Sports Foundation, only two states ban hollow point ammunition: California and New Jersey, and in California it’s only banned in San Francisco. So Dickinson is not only uninformed, but she apparently doesn’t know how to do research.

Also, EXPLODING AMMUNITION?? What in blue hell is this squealing idiot talking about?

Apparently, she’s confused “expanding” with “exploding.” And this type of ammunition increases safety and decreases the risk of collateral damage, by making overpenetration less of an issue, reducing the risk that someone behind your target may be hurt while stopping your assailant cold. Maybe Dickinson shouldn’t be giving advice until she learns some basic reading comprehension and research skills.

Dickinson then goes on to give the pants-soiling ass goblin exactly the kind of validation he needs to toss his own child out of the house, because he’s a coward who can’t tolerate her ownership of an effective tool of self defense and being responsible for her own life without having to rely on law enforcement.

Oh, she must be involved in some other, possibly dangerous or illegal activity!

Oh, she may not be properly trained in the use of the gun!

Oh, she may even own it illegally.

Oh, she’s likely an unsafe gun owner!

Oh, you’re so right to kick her out of the house unless she relinquishes her tool of self-defense!

My advice to the daughter of this pusillanimous cock biscuit would be to leave as soon as possible. Leave this coward. Leave his house. Don’t look back. He does not trust you, and he certainly does not love you!

He is willing to kick you out of the house and accept the risk – however small – that you might be victimized and left defenseless because his political views and ignorance outweigh his desire for you to be safe.

It’s his house, and he has the right to make demands, no matter how unreasonable. Leave today. You’ll do just fine without this pants-shitting, Shannon Watts-humping coward in your life.


Featured photo: Wikimedia Commons, released in the public domain.

Written by

Marta Hernandez is an immigrant, writer, editor, science fiction fan (especially military sci-fi), and a lover of freedom, her children, her husband and her pets. She loves to shoot, and range time is sacred, as is her hiking obsession, especially if we’re talking the European Alps. She is an avid caffeine and TWD addict, and wants to own otters, sloths, wallabies, koalas, and wombats when she grows up.

  • GWB says:

    A letter to an advice columnist
    I’m even more skeptical than you are about the authenticity of this letter. Though I can’t imagine why someone would write something so bizarre and idiotic. Unless the original author is actually a pro-gun guy wanting to expose the idiocy of these folks. In which case, BZ, sir! Mission accomplished!

    An excellent fisking, Marta. Though I’ll add a few. 😉

    she has hollow point bullets to go with it
    Technically, those hollow points are to go through it.

    there’s nothing abnormal about a .40 caliber
    True. A 10mm, OTOH……… 😉

    this is the kind of weapon a criminal would possess!
    No F*ing S**t, Dick Tracy! Because they usually carry NORMAL weapons!

    Also, we’ve never had a fire in the neighborhood
    Yeah, he seems to misunderstand the concept of “emergency!”

    now I have to lock my bedroom door at night
    Oh, Skippy, if she’s using copper-jacketed bullets, that door ain’t gonna stop diddly. And if it’s not an actual wood door, at least – an awful lot of interior doors nowadays are basically hardened cardboard (not to mention that even the wood ones are usually hollow-core) – even non-jacketed HPs will go through it like a hot knife through butter. (A wood hollow-core might deform the round enough to at least deflect it and prevent its penetration of the other side with enough force to do real damage.)

    blithering shit socket
    Oh my! I almost fell out of my chair laughing at that one!

    Now she says that I don’t trust her
    No F*ing S**t, Dick Tracy! Because you just said you don’t trust her! *smdh*
    (Sorry about the repetitious language there. I stand in awe of Marta’s ability to not repeat herself when casting grotesque insults.)

    exploding ammunition
    Oh, dear, sweet, baby Jesus, help us. Ze ignorance, she ‘splode all ’round us!

    Why must your household be one of them?
    Because, like he said, his daughter is “intelligent, hard-working, [and] responsible”.
    (Oh, and that research is highly questionable, based on other analyses I’ve seen done. But, given you started right off with facts what just ain’t true, I’m going to guess you saw this in a headline and assumed it to be true.)

    Where did your daughter get this weapon and ammunition?
    From the store, you ignorant bint. Same place millions of Americans get them. Unless it was a 10mm – then I’d have to assume she bought it somewhere questionable.

    (Accidental gun death is a substantial risk of owning a gun.)
    Evidently, among your other failings, you don’t know what “substantial risk” actually means.
    According to a gun control advocacy group, there were <32,000 gun deaths on average, per year, from 1999 to 2017. Of those, how many were "accidental"? 1.8%. Less than 2% of 25/1000% of households with guns (assuming the low end number of armed households) had an accidental death from that gun. This would be the exact opposite of the definition of “substantial“. (That’s less than 0.0005% for those of you struggling with the math.)

    I agree with your ultimatum
    Of course you do, Amy. Because you’re an ignorant git who thinks you can be made safe by things like “laws” and your betters will keep you from all harm.

    Oh, Marta, could you give a link to where you found that hollow point info?

    this squealing idiot
    You running out of steam here? I expected a more colorful metaphor. 😉

    Maybe Dickinson shouldn’t be giving advice
    See, I’d just end the sentence right there…….

    you might be victimized and left defenseless
    Well, not so much – because she has a firearm. She would be victimized and defenseless if she stayed, though.

    Again, excellent fisk, Marta. 🙂

    (BTW, all the slaps at 10mm are solely based on people in gun stores looking at me funny when I mention that caliber. It seems to be a mostly unpopular round, and a lot of gun bunnies seem to think it’s a boutique round invented for a problem that didn’t exist. So, it’s just a little bit of jabbing between friends – like inter-service rivalry in the military.)

    • Citizen tom says:

      Somebody is trying to make a sailor blush (or laugh).

      Is that letter real? Are Liberal Democrats logical? No? Then that letter is something we should expect?

      The news media is remarkably biased, and they have infected large segments of the public with their bias. Relatively few news organizations provide honest, nonpartisan reports. Gun control — banning gun ownership — is something most of news media wants, but why?

      The news media hates guns and tobacco, but loves condoms (prevents the spread of STDs, don’t you know) and pot. These people don’t think well, but the elites fear an armed public. They don’t fear STDs or pot.

    • Marta Hernandez says:

      Sorry, forgot to reply last night about the NSSF link. Here you go.

    • Lance says:

      I think this story was totally fabricated to interject more gun control propaganda into non traditional platforms. I just doesn’t add up. Amy Dickerson was probably just responding to a faked letter so she could appear as only replying, as she shoved anti-Bill of Rights propaganda down her readers’ throats.

      In the unlikely eventuality that the letter was truly legitimate however, I assume this “dad” is really locking his bedroom door because he’s afraid of retribution for abuse his daughter suffered at his hands when she was a child. Think Aerosmith on this one. If this is not a hoax, I bet his daughter’s name is Jamie…

  • Formerly known as Skeptic says:

    I would note that according to the table you posted, hollow points aren’t even illegal in New Jersey for home defense (see exception 4).

  • Fen says:

    This makes me sad. I’ve dated so many women who had “daddy issues” because their father was distant or a jackass. Now these sniveling metro-sexual gimps are added to the mix to make it even worse.

    Guys, being a role-model for your girl is not hard. Pull your head out.

  • Dana says:

    Don’t hold back; how do you really feel?

    But the daughter should leave. Her ownership of a firearm is making her father uncomfortable in his own home. She’s an adult, who ought to be living on her own in the first place. Time for her to woman up and leave home.

  • Deanna Fisher says:

    Oh, and that “father” in South Carolina who shot and killed his daughter? Drug dealer, felon in possession of a firearm. Talk about burying the lede there, “Ask Amy.” Apparently it’s too much to ask for an “advice columnist” to read beyond the headline.

    • GWB says:

      Apparently it’s too much to ask for an “advice columnist” to read
      Given the other stuff she failed at researching, I’d stop that sentence right there.

  • Pax78 says:

    Your critique is spot on, but it would be so much more effective if you would remove the vulgar language and juvenile insults. Our culture is a cesspool; why would you rather swim in it than elevate the discourse?

  • iowaan says:

    “… now I have to lock my bedroom door at night because I don’t know what she’s going to do.”

    Before she had the gun did you know that she wouldn’t go downstairs to the kitchen, take a steak knife, and then cut your throat?

  • Anchovy says:

    Shut up Dad and let me finish changing the tire, starting the BBQ and stacking the firewood.

  • Quentin Q Quill says:

    Marta seems to get joy from being vulgar for vulgarity’s sake. She’s a real creep sometimes.

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