CNN Desperately Tries, Fails at Connecting Explosions to Race

CNN Desperately Tries, Fails at Connecting Explosions to Race

CNN Desperately Tries, Fails at Connecting Explosions to Race

Oh, CNN, how do I love thee! Not because you provide round-the-clock, critical news coverage I crave, and not because of your incredibly insightful commentary. No, CNN, your news coverage and editorials are painful. Old Bay seasoning in the eye painful. Lawrence Taylor landing on Joe Theismann’s leg in slow motion painful. Ground glass enema painful.

No, I love CNN because it’s pathetic, desperate attempts at relevance and “wokeness” have turned into a snortworthy spectacle, during which normal people grab a tub of pop corn (and the Parkland gun grabber kids get their tub of Tide pods).

CNN’s latest sad undertaking at tying violence to RAAAAAACISM in this dark age of Trump was quashed by actual facts, because the victims of Sunday’s explosions in Austin were white. But CNN is never one to let facts stand in the way of promoting Teh Narrative™, so it decided to run with the race angle anyway.

You see, a 75-year-old Hispanic woman opened one of the packages containing the explosives, and she was significantly injured. The other victims were black, causing certain concern trolls to do what concern trolls do: assume that the motivation of the perpetrator was racism…

…until yesterday, because the victims were white. But apparently CNN doesn’t consider white to be a race; nor do the highly educated and “woke” CNN journowhores believe whites can be victims of racism.

Now, if I were a betting woman, I would lay pretty good odds that whoever is leaving these explosives all over the city has been inspired by ISIS. I mean, it’s not like media products from ISIS and other Salafist scum aren’t readily available online to inspire new generations of would-be jihadists! It’s not like ISIS doesn’t have instructions online teaching would-be followers how to make explosives and target innocents here in the US. And it’s not like at least one homegrown violent extremist attack hasn’t already taken place this year.

But I’m not supposed to say that, right? Because Islam is a religion of peace, and we can’t tar all Muslims with the broad brush of terrorism!

I wonder what CNN will report if the perpetrator is caught, and it turns out he’s been radicalized by ISIS propaganda videos!

BREAKING: CNN Exclusive! The suspect arrested and charged with leaving explosive devices all over the city of Austin was a lonely, misunderstood *insert victimized minority here,* who was bullied by racist Trump supporters on his college campus, was misunderstood by his peers, and found solace in the online teachings of the late al-Qa’ida spokesman Anwar al Awlaqi (peace be upon him), whom the US murdered in cold blood in a drone attack (although it was in no way Barack Obama’s fault, as he would never murder American citizens in drone attacks; it must have been evil rethuglicans hiding in the bowels of the Pentagon). The suspect’s attorneys confirm he plans to plead “not guilty” by virtue of mental disease or defect, due to the constant abuse he faced from Trump-supporting white people.

Trust me, if there’s any way to blame white people for acts of unspeakable horror, CNN will find it.

Bet on it!

Written by

Marta Hernandez is an immigrant, writer, editor, science fiction fan (especially military sci-fi), and a lover of freedom, her children, her husband and her pets. She loves to shoot, and range time is sacred, as is her hiking obsession, especially if we’re talking the European Alps. She is an avid caffeine and TWD addict, and wants to own otters, sloths, wallabies, koalas, and wombats when she grows up.

  • Scott says:

    Spot on as always Marta… I knew it was you, as soon as I read ” ground glass enema”….and you’re right as usual… one batshit crazy gun owner commits a crime and all gun owners are evil.. but one muslim commits an act of terrorism, in direct correlation with the basic tenants of that “religion” (CULT) and it was “one misguided soul, we shouldn’t blame them all”…. leftist logic at it’s best…

  • Andrew X says:

    I want to personally thank you for keeping us up to speed on what is going on on CNN, because one thing is for bloody damn certain – I won’t be finding out by watching it.

    • Eric R. says:

      Avoiding them here in the East actually takes a lot of effort here, since they are on at airports, Dunkin’ Donuts franchises, and most (PA, NJ, DE) Turnpike and (NYS) Thruway rest stops in the East.

  • Owen says:

    I’m going to other way on the perp.
    Not ISIS. The target selection is all wrong.

    White male, mid 40’s, influenced by the unabomber.

  • Eric R. says:

    Let’s look at how morally f**ked up CNN is:

    a) By its own admission, CNN is complicit in mass murder/genocide. Their own news director admitted they knew about Saddam’s killing of thousands, but kept quiet in order to maintain access to him.

    b) CNN libeled the US Military with its phony “Tailwind” scandal.

    c) CNN gave a show to an ex-Governor who was literally “whoring around”.

    d) CNN give prominent place to a 9-11 truther and Marxist (Van Jones).

    e) CNN doxxed the average citizen who gave Trump that .gif

    We are talking people with all the morality of Stalinists. Which is what they are.

    • Lateralus says:

      I don’t agree with Van Jones on 99,9% but buddy, 9-11 was an inside job, to the top, somebody very high have to give the stand down order for the F-22s.
      Also 9-11 Commision is a complete and utter joke.

  • GWB says:

    My co-worker surmised they grabbed the tweet they sent out before about the bombings, and just appended the first sentence to it. Then never actually read how the two sentences went together.
    Because reading is hard.

  • Edward says:

    Give CNN some credit for being able to spot the systemic racism where the rest of us simpletons couldn’t. How do we know those two ‘white’ guys didn’t self identify as something else? Haters.

  • Dan Bonevac says:

    I’ve lived in Austin since 1980. For what it’s worth, my thought has been that the areas of the attack have something in common—they’re all accessible without going through intersections with traffic cameras, in places where it would be very unlikely to be captured on any security camera. That suggests considerable sophistication on the part of the bomber, and either quite a bit of research or a law-enforcement background.

  • […] are demanding these bombings be tagged as ‘domestic terrorism’ and racially motivated because the first two victims were black. But the fourth bomb that went off late Sunday night in Austin when two bike-riders ran over a trip […]

  • Bandit says:


    They seem like pretty multi-culti killing

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