The precise origin of April Fools’ Day is a bit mysterious, but one thing is patently clear: We are surrounded by fools, and we here at VG love to point out those of all persuasions. And, oh, is the list long. So to honor this annual day of tricks and pranksters, we give you the top eight “winners” in the Pool of Fools competition. Let’s start at the bottom.

8. Obama autographed baseballs for MLB Opening Day

Is nothing sacred? The Narcissist in Chief—who throws worse than a first year T-baller—offered his serfs fans signed baseballs in honor of MLB Opening Day 2014, with an accompanying photo of the baseballs he signed…in 2009. Perhaps the leftovers can be sold on Ebay for $17 18 trillion.

7. Rachel “Slobbering ObamaBot” Ray

Ms. Ray hosted, via satellite, Uncle Joe Biden hocking, you guessed it, Obamacare. Nearing tears, the blubbering Ms. Ray thanked V.P. Biden for helping to give the country Obamacare, and begged those knuckle-headed youngsters to get covered. Clearly Ms. Ray is as in-touch with Americans as the Obama Administration thinks it is.

6. Employees boycotting Mozilla because its CEO is pro-traditional marriage

In yet another display of the Left’s commitment to tolerance, some employees of Mozilla (Firefox) are urging Mozilla’s CEO to step down because—gasp!—he believes in marriage between a man and a woman, as affirmed in California’s Prop 8 (shh, so do the majority of voters in Cali). While we can debate that stance all day long, the issue is one of intolerance for anything that “offends” the Left. Free speech, as long as it’s our speech. Here’s an idea: Go work somewhere else.

5. Michelle “The Nag” Obama

She’s a badgerer, and she’s proud of it. In her Marxist mind, she’s the Mother of Every American. We need not worry, or think for ourselves, for she’s here, all day, every day…24/7…ad nauseum…nagging us into submission. But like a rebellious teen, America isn’t listening.

4. California gun-running Democrat, state Senator Leland Yee

Reports say the gun-running Sec Sate candidate enlisted the help of at least 25 others in his gun trafficking scheme. According to the FBI, a 60-year-old dentist met with Yee and an undercover agent on March 11th in San Francisco, where the trio allegedly began planning a $2 million arms deal for, get this, M16′s and shoulder-launched weapons. Seems Mr. Yee pushed gun control in an effort to be the only source for firearms acquisition. By limiting the supply, voila, he becomes the gun lord. Oh, and a raging hypocrite.

3. Senator Harry Reid

Koch Brothers-obsessed Harry Reid is scrambling to pay back more than $30,000 in donor monies he paid to his granddaughter to purchase holiday gifts for his staff, jewelry she just so happens to design. He’s doing the right thing and reimbursing his campaign, Friends For Harry Reid, because honesty is the best policy…oh, hell, who are we kidding. He’s paying it back because he got caught.

2. HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius

Ms. Sebelius, that bastion of honesty and integrity, appeared on a local news show in Oklahoma encouraging Oklahomans to purchase the oh so “affordable” Obamacare on the last day of open enrollment. Trouble is, according to the reporter, 64% of Oklahomans vehemently dislike Obamacare. Wait, what?! Cricket. Cricket. Cricket. Sebelius’ reaction is priceless:

And the number one April Fool is…

1. Obamacare, of course.

On it’s very last day of open enrollment—at least we think it is; the imperial president changes the law so frequently, and unconstitutionally, that we can barely keep up—the website crashed. Again. And no one really knows how many Americans (or illegals, hat tip Joe Wilson) have enrolled. According to Ms. Sebelius, it’s in the range of 6 million, give or take a million or more. But according to other reports, only a portion of those have actually paid their premiums, because, surprise, the prices are beyond hefty. And if you’re Oregon, the King has decreed that you have another 30 days of open enrollment. You see, Oregon is special. Theirs is the only exchange in the country on which people cannot purchase insurance entirely online, a complete failure at a cost of hundreds of millions of dollars to we lowly taxpayers. Great job, Progressives.

While the Pool of Fools is bottomless, Obamacare is the stand-alone winner. We hope that the long-awaited prize will be the loss of the Democrat-controlled Senate—to actual proven conservatives and not more of the same worthless Republicans—and governorships and state legislature gains across the country this November. Only then will we be able to assert that perhaps it was worth the significant pain its inflicted to show America exactly what socialized medicine, and bloated, spying, centralized government looks like. Oh, and Mr. Yee, enjoy prison. We hear there’s free healthcare. 

Who’s on your list?