Fetterman: The Senator Wears Gym Shorts

Fetterman: The Senator Wears Gym Shorts

Fetterman: The Senator Wears Gym Shorts

There was lots of buzz this week when John Fetterman (again) showed up to a press conference in gym shorts and a hoodie. What was he thinking? Where is his decorum? Why does he dress like a slob?

Republicans are “losing their minds”, he says. John, yours is already gone, dude. And while the Senate has relaxed their rules to accommodate Fetterman’s slovenly appearance, The New York Post decided to test these relaxed dress rules about town.

We know, hardly deep, hard-hitting, breaking news and journalism but this was entertaining at the very least. Enter Post reporter, Jon Levine, who threw on some gym shorts and a hoodie and tried to score a seat in some of New York’s premiere dining spots.

First on the list? Daniel on the Upper East Side:

“He would not be permitted here,” sniffed a maître d.

We have turned away guests for being improperly dressed regardless of their occupation.”

Next stop? New York’s Le Bernardin. Their maître d stopped him at the door and said “no athletic wear”.

Nevertheless, Jon Levine persisted to Columbus Circle to gain entry into Jean-Georges for an amuse-bouche. While Levin was denied at several of New York’s hot spots, Nobu welcomed him with open arms and said they would “absolutely” welcome Fetterman.

John Fetterman was asked to wear suits. But, he had health problems, you see. So, the Senator got a pass to wear gym shorts and hoodies because he was “recovering“. That was back in April. Are we to believe he is still not “recovered”? And, if so, what the hell is he still doing in this position?

Yet, Fetterman, Le Slob, a disturbing cross between Shrek and Uncle Fester, still gets accolades by being on The New York Times‘ Most Stylish of 2022 list. So stylish. Right up there with the late Queen Elizabeth II. His hoodies and gym shorts are a “signature” look.

In Shrek’s defense, the lovable Ogre dressed up for his wedding with Princess Fiona. And Uncle Fester did actually wear suits. This Fetterman guy? Well, he just can’t be bothered. After all, he came out of the darkness. from illness. And he lit the mitch…errr…match

Before I get chided for being insensitive because Fetterman suffers from depression, allow me to say, I have been diagnosed with mild depression since 2001. There are dark days in the Seattle winters where all I want to do is lounge around in sweatpants and a messy bun but, I throw on some appropriate work attire and get through the day. While my workplace is incredibly casual and we can get away with wearing athletic gear, we are not government officials and public servants in the ever-so-public eye, like Fetterman.

But is dressing up on the Senate floor a thing of the past? Are times a-changin’? Fashion would indicate the whole aesthetic is. It’s cool to look like you rolled out of bed and threw on the first thing that was on your floor. It’s cool to look unkempt and to look like you have major issues with body odor. In some cases, the new thing is body odor.

Democrats will argue in Fetterman’s favor: “at least he’s not dressing like an East Coast elite”. I’ll gladly take this one down, Dems: Fetterman is an East Coast elite. So much so, that he thinks rules simply just don’t apply to him. So much so, that he clearly has no respect for his office or position. Unfortunately, there is not much more we can expect from a guy who sponged off his parents well into his adulthood. He’s not an “everyman” in a Carhartt sweatshirt. He’s a guy who was largely bankrolled by his family members (while he went out and spent thousands of dollars on his tattoos). Fetterman does not know the first thing about hard work and his attitude illustrates this. Hard work sometimes involves getting up in the morning and putting on that damn suit. For the salary his is making off the backs of the American people, this is not too much of an ask.

It can also be argued that Fetterman does not hide who he is as a Democrat. You can dress someone all up in designer duds and they still would be trash. He is who he is. Perhaps AOC, Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Liz Warren, and the rest of them will want to follow suit? No pun intended.

Heh. If she could, she would.

We can have a whole Democratic Senate full of smelly sweat-shorts. Smelly Short Day replaces Casual Fridays. (Nah, other superpowers across the world aren’t laughing at us at all). Fetterman’s attire puts the lackadaisical, uncaring and disrespectful attitude of his constituents and his counterparts towards this country on glorious display. I guess I’ll give him some points: at least he isn’t hiding this.

But this aesthetic is not an attempt at the “regular guy look” or some Pennsylvania coal-mining-town-steel-mill BS. We come back to the phrase, “clothes make the man”. In Fetterman’s case, clothes make this man an entitled, disrespectful and uncaring slob. Plain and simple.

Feature Photo Credit: Fetterman via Wikipedia, cropped and modified

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2 Comments
  • Lloyd says:

    A slob is a slob….There is no way you can explain it away. Fetterman and those who voted for him are all slobs. America deserves better…..ah, but that’s up to the voters….those same dunces that voted for Fetterman. Sadly, we are stuck with the slob….for now

  • Liz says:

    Senator shows up to work looking like he just got kicked out of Buffalo Wild Wings.
    Go home 2023, you’re drunk.

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