We jet up to our neighbors to the north this morning for a shot of espresso in our reality cuppa coffee this morning. Toronto, Canada, to be specific.

Coffee shop owner, Gabriel Sims-Fewer, had a concept: to open a “pay what and when you can coffee shop”. He named it The Anarchist Cafe, appropriately. Seems as though free coffee does not-you guessed it-turn a profit and the Anarchist Cafe is closing its doors. I know, we are shocked, I tell you. Shocked.

Correction: The Anarchist WAS…

Side note: Gabriel Sims-Fewer looks exactly as I pictured before seeing this short. He fled Vancouver because of “unwelcoming sense of classism“, or something ,and opened up his shop in Toronto on “stolen land”. You know what? I really love when white, woke liberals say this stuff. They call it an acknowledgement. In reality, it is more posturing and empty words. Seriously, when Microsoft execs get up on a podium in Redmond, Washington and acknowledge they are “on stolen land”, (I’ve seen this) they have no intentions of giving it back. When white kids from Bellevue make this disclaimer before campus tours (Again, I’ve seen it myself), they also have no intentions of not stepping on holy, native ground. They’ll step all over it whilst telling YOU to feel bad about your sheer existence in this world.

The Anarchist offered drip coffee with a “pay what you can, when you can” price tag and sold other crafted beverages. Read=Sims-Fewer, much to his intense dislike of Capitalism, was still having to turn a profit to keep his doors open. Sims-Fewer also sold a variety of progressive books, art and other merchandise at the coffee joint. Again, for profit. Look no further for your “Reproductive Justice-(ahem-abortion)-For All Genders” totebags! Or perhaps the “Eat Vegetables, Ride Bikes, Be Nice, Hail Satan”, tote is more your bag? The white, wimpy guy with the hyphenated last name will gladly sell you one. If he could. But his shop is closed. (Snort.)

But still, I cannot stop perusing this coffee shop’s store for fabulous, woke propaganda. Wherever will one find a sign that reads, “Queer Utopias are not fantasies, Queer utopias are necessities” now that the Anarchist is closing its doors? Or a heart-shaped keychain that reads, “Sex Work IS Work”?

No more free coffee in Toronto. Sims-Fewer made a statement on the shop’s website:

It’s been an amazing experience, connecting with so many great community members, sparking desperately needed debate, raising the blood pressure of Conservatives (that includes you, ‘anarcho-capitalists’ and ‘Libertarians’), fulfilling the dream of most service workers by not having to tolerate the presence of professional class-traitors (pigs and military), and experimenting with living and working in ways that don’t enthusiastically embrace the pure misanthropy of Capitalism. Unfortunately, the lack of generational wealth/seed capital from ethically bankrupt sources left me unable to weather the quiet winter season, or to grow in the ways needed to be sustainable longer-term.”-Gabriel Sims-Fewer

He sounds like the life of the party, doesn’t he? Imagine sitting down with a cup of coffee with this guy? “I’m closing my store because my mommy and daddy did not give me any more money and it’s the banks’ fault because they did not see the sheer genius that I am for wanting to create this space. They are the problem and will never understand someone of my caliber of intellect.”

derp

— (@PickledGeezer) May 15, 2023

Wait for it…there’s more. Now, for the closing statement:

F#ck the rich. F#ck the police. F#ck the state. Fuck the colonial death camp we call ‘Canada’.

Solidarity

Gabriel a.k.a The Anarchist

derp

— (@PickledGeezer) May 15, 2023

We guess rent on the space was not “pay what you can”, right, white boy?

I would say that even some Canadians may be tired of this. Or that perhaps some Canadians could see through this hypocrisy. Maybe Capitalists did not feel they should pay for a vegetable-eating, bike-riding, “nice”- person-who-believes-in-satan’s cup of coffee. At least the native people of the stolen land did not come to take his shop away. Or the anti-capitalist rioters did not bust out his windows. Perhaps Gabriel-Sims-Fewer-Coffee-Shops can open up a cafe in, I dunno, North Korea. for starters. He can kiss the “colonial death camp he calls Canada” bye-bye.

Just ingested some caffeine myself so I may be feeling a bit spicy. To Gabe, we say this. F#ck your coffee, f#ck your $hitty attitude. We’re going to Tim Horton’s.

Photo Credit: Acabashi, CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons