Former 2016 Campaign Manager and proud Trump ally, Corey Lewandowski, appeared before the House Judiciary Committee today and played the Democrats like Itzhak Perlman with his Stradivarius. It was a thing of beauty and, at the same time, laugh out loud funny. It wasn’t at all the show the Democrats had hoped to give the country.

Before today, Lewandowski had voluntarily testified before committees and the office of the Special Counsel for over 20 hours. He had already agreed to testify before the Judiciary Committee, although Jerry Nadler later issued a subpoena for his appearance. Why? Because Jerry Nadler is an angry, little (literally) man.

Today, Representative Nadler hoped to begin the Impeachment Inquiry of President Donald Trump by berating Corey Lewandowski until he confessed to colluding with the Russians to deny Hillary Clinton the Presidency of the United States of America. It didn’t work. It didn’t work bigly.

First, former Trump associates Rob Porter and Rick Dearborn declined to show up. Then, Lewandowski declined to go beyond the four corners of the Mueller Report, just like Robert Mueller, himself. After a whole bunch of “points of orders” and “clock” issues. The fun began.

As Representative Doug Collins noted, because there was no floor vote to begin an Impeachment Inquiry, this was not an Impeachment Inquiry. From C-Span.org, a portion of Mr. Collins opening statement:

WELL, THANK YOU, MR. CHAIRMAN, AND THANK YOU FOR INTRODUCING THIS HEARING WHICH IS NOW AS YOU SAID UNDER THE NEW RULES, AND YOU KNOW, SORT OF THE OLD SCHOOL, AND THE NEW RULES AND NEW RULES HERE, AND THOSE WERE THE OLD RULES AND YET, HERE WE GO AGAIN. WE WILL SAY THAT THEY ARE NEW, BECAUSE WE LIKE THE PACKAGING. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A MAJORITY SO EXCITED WITH THE PACKAGING, BECAUSE THEY CAN’T SELL WHAT IS INSIDE. SO I AGREE WITH THE CHAIRMAN WE SHOULD CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS, ANOTHER OVERSIGHT HEARING AND IT HAS BECOME THIS.

But, Corey Lewandowski was the show runner today. Remember, when Representative Eric Swalwell threatened to go nuclear on gun owners? Lewandowski went gangster on Smallballs. From our friends at Twitchy:

"Nuke 'em All" Swalwell got nuked by Corey Lewandowski. pic.twitter.com/ONxUwmy93m

— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) September 17, 2019

Next up, Mr. Lewandowski burned “President” Swalwell:

This woman's reaction is all of America as Corey Lewandowski calls Swalwell "President Swalwell" and later says "I'm not ashamed of anything in my life, Congressman. Are you?" pic.twitter.com/Gx23cr0tun

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) September 17, 2019

There were so many moments like these, but my favorite was when Representative Hakeem Jeffries asked Lewandowski if he was a “bag man” or a “hit man” for Donald Trump. With a straight face that most actors would kill for, Lewandowski said he was “the good looking man”. Watch it here at the one minute and 23 second mark:

I loved it. For too many years, Republicans have read from the script the Democrats hand them. The Democrats beat them about the head and neck and the Republicans say, “Sir, may I have another?”. Attorney General Bob Barr and Mr. Lewandowski have shown them how to play by the new rules. Flip the script. And, don’t forget your violin.

This impeachment excrement has got to stop. It’s tearing the country apart. At least, Corey Lewandowski gave us some humor today.

Photo Credit: City Club of Cleveland/cc Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0)/cropped/sharpened