I was 18 and had been “dating” my kids’ dad for two months when I became pregnant with my first child. Just out of high school, my first semester of college looming before me, I was, to put it mildly, unprepared. My mother found out when we were visiting one weekend and she said she hoped I was taking precautions and I responded that it was a bit late for that. Her response? “Are you going to keep it?”
“It”. That “it” was a “him” and is now a six-foot, one-hundred and eighty-five pound food compactor and one of the loves of my life.
I stumbled upon this post by an anonymous woman early this morning and became simultaneously saddened, sickened, and infuriated. It is a letter to her unborn child, the child she will abort next Friday. She addresses her child as “Little Thing” and tells her she isn’t prepared, as if that’s reason enough to kill her, stating they’ll meet again the next time she sees that little blue plus sign as if her next pregnancy will be the same child.
But, Little Thing, we will meet again. I promise that the next time I see that little blue plus, the next time you are in the same reality as me, I will be ready for you.
So, a child is a thing. Our society has reduced our children, our future, to things and choices. As emotionally twisting as her letter was to me, the comments were that much worse. Applauding her decision, chastising any who mention adoption, telling those who don’t laud her decision that it isn’t the place for an abortion debate. It is my hope that she’ll change her mind and consider adoption, realizing she has time to write this chapter of her and her child’s lives instead of ending one. I would urge any and all reading this to help her reach the realization that her unborn child is not a “thing”; that “thing” is flesh of her flesh, a living and breathing piece of her future, that ending a life IS a reality and very final.
Oh, and I’ve never forgotten nor forgiven my mother for calling my child an “it”.
Jodi says: Thank you for this, ROS.
From a grateful adoptee.
ROS says: My dad was adopted. 🙂
Nina says: I truly hope she does change her mind and considers raising her child or gifting another family with this baby.
One additional takeaway I have is this: For her to twist herself into a pretzel and call this child a ‘thing’ leads me to presume that she does know she’s having a baby but is doing her absolute damnedest to run from reality. And that is the saddest thing of all.
ROS says: My take as well. That she even wrote the letter and posted it tells me she’s seeking validation for her decision in order to allay her guilt.
Kate says: Love you, ROS.
ROS says: You have to. 😀
Diane Keenan says: I am writing this letter on behalf of Little Thing, who is unable to speak for herself. She believes that some of what she says may be hurtful, but her sincere hope is to protect other Little Things, so she’s sorry, but she’s not.
Dear Mom,
In your letter you talk about, not feeling enchantment and how that breaks your heart. As someone who rests right next to your heart, i think you have this wrong. You see if a mother’s heart cant find enchantment in life given to her care, that heart was already broken from the start. You go on to talk about the sadness you feel because we can never meet, and then you use the cliché ..until we meet again? I don’t understand. You seem to tease me in my last hours by saying I may look like you or dad, that we could make a family and have traditions. It is hurtful mom, and your sorry but you’re not? You promise about the next time, when you see a Blue plus, when I’m in the same reality as you? It almost sounds like you believe you create and control reality. While its true, you do have control over whether i live or die, that is a reality for me. But do you really believe you can create me, and then bring me back, like a sort of raincheck appearing as another ‘blue plus’ ? You talk about wanting great things for me, a great future, more magnificent than yourself, more than you want for yourself. Oh mom, you cant see how these words from you terrify me? You, who are ending every chance of that for me.
You promise to see me again. You will mom, you will find me in our Father’s arms, as I enchant him endlessly. You have given me permission the next time to on call you Mom and that is very kind. But, when you meet Our Father, and he asks if your sorry don’t tell him you are not. I know that he wont like it, and he may name you Little Thing.
Rebecca says: “Page not found” on the original reddit link, but Jezebel posted the “brave” letter here: http://jezebel.com/woman-writes-brave-honest-letter-to-the-baby-she-will-1645277207
ashton says: i do not agree with abortions. i know that people are going to do what they are going to do. There was nothing noble or brave or compassionate about that letter that woman wrote. she is doing this abortions for her own selfish reasons. she says Little Thing, I want you to be happy. More than I want good things for myself” look she wants her baby to be happy… how is having it aborted going to make her baby happy?? its not. Then she says ” i want go things for myself” does that not say selfish? she doesn’t even give her baby that she can feel and is thinking about a proper nick name. “little thing”.”thing”. we aren’t talking about a piece of trash or a toy. we are talking about a living baby. What she needs is support not the support that is encouraging her to get an abortion, but the positive support to keep or giver her baby up for adoption.
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