Top 5 ways to become one of Obama’s Ambassadors

Top 5 ways to become one of Obama’s Ambassadors

The Obama administration has bucked many a rule since coming into being, including previously observed gifting protocol for foreign dignitaries by pulling amateur stunts like gifting the Queen of England an iPod preloaded with Barack’s greatest pontification hits. Now they are continuing to defy protocol (and common sense) as they nominate top donors for plum Foreign Service positions as ambassadors to nations like the United Kingdom , Iceland, Norway and Argentina. Some of these appointees’ answers to the Senate committee’s questions called to mind Miss Teen South Carolina’s brilliant reparte in 2007; you remember the one we all winced through as it was played over and over again?

Among these impressarios of foreign service protocol are Colleen Bell who is the wife of  soap opera producer Bradley Bell (who raised $800,000 for the President’s re-election), George Tsunis-a hotelier and multi-million dollar Obama bundler, and Noah Bryson Mamet who is the founder of a political consulting firm and is the most qualified-even though he has never been to the country where he would be ambassador.

With all that in mind I give you the top 5 ways to become an Obama administration ambassador to any nation:

5) Donate or bundle a ton of money and give it to the President’s re-election campaign – It seems that most of this administration’s ambassadors bought their titles since almost all of them donated or raised funds for Obama’s campaign in the 2012 cycle. Bell raised $800,000, Tsunis himself donated $843,225 and Mamet personally donated $96,800

4)  Never have travelled to the country you will serve as ambassador – It seems that many of the ambassadors put forth for the position have never been to the country they would serve. In this I agree wholehearedly with Senator John McCain (R), Arizona: “When you put someone in an ambassador’s position who hasn’t even been to the country, you are rolling the dice.”  I also find their lack of qualifications alarming as did the Senator from Arizona.

3) Know nothing about the political climate of the nation where you will serve as ambassador – It seems that the nominees showed an amazing lack of knowledge about their future destination’s political climates as well. One appointee characterized the center-right group, known as the Progress Party,  in Norway’s ruling coalition as “a discounted fringe”- oops.

Facists in Hungary? Who knew? Not Colleen Bell!

2) Have no insight into the strategic interests of the nation you will serve – Colleen Bell, wife of “Bold and the Beautiful” producer, Brad Bell, evidently could not answer a question posed to her during her confirmation hearing about America’s strategic interests in Hungary where far-right lawmaker’s attitdudes about Jews and other minorities are spawning international concern.

1) Have absolutely, positively no experience in the foreign service whatsoever – While most Presidents observe a 70/30 rule when appointing ambassadors (70 percent of the appointments coming from within the ranks of the foreign service and 30 percent coming from political allies), Obama has bucked the system in his second term by appointing bundlers and big money donors 53% percent of the time.

Perhaps these hopeful diplomats should remember what happens to ambassadors when things deteriorate rapidly in their host nation and the Administration does not consider it politically expedient to extract the ambassador and their staff – after all “What difference, at this point, does it make?”- right Hillary?

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  • Jennifer says:

    LOL FINALLY they get tired of it too!

  • ALman says:

    What was it that “voices crying in the wilderness” attempted to demonstrate as a significant reason for not electing him as president, but were shouted down, again and again? EXPERIENCE (the lack of)! Generally, and this is a sincere question, what one major accomplishment has this administration made that has benefited America that both sides of the aisle can agree upon? There’s not a one that comes to me.

    When it comes to the Foreign Service, this is but a specific example on the ineptitude of the oval office occupier. Not just for America, which was in a tenuous state, we need proved leadership to not add to the shaky global condition. Rather, we needed those who could help stabilize and use scarce resources in a wise manner to effect recovery. It was not a timed to have other nations be asking themselves what has happened to their ally, nor opponents to believe they’re empowered.

    So, it’s no wonder we’re seeing the appointments that we are. As to those who are accepting them, I wonder about them, accepting an ambassadorship from a guy who seems to have a motto along the lines of “We’ve got your wallet. As for your back, well, that’s another matter!”

    As for the rank-and-file of the Foreign Service, an episode of “Monk” comes to mind. It’s the one that has a rent-a-cop. Every time there’s trouble, he runs! Thus, he’s nicknamed by the press “Fraidy Cop”. What’s the Foreign Service to think about this “Fraidy President” who resorts to “bullying” tactics to get what he wants? It’s their lives on the line!

  • proof says:

    I thought the top three were “Cash, check and money order”

    • ALman says:

      Along that line, I just received this in the mail regarding an application I made for employment. I’ve removed certain details so as not to incriminate the guilty.

      Dear ALman,

      This is to acknowledge our receipt of your letter of interest in an ambassadorship to Luxembourg. Inasmuch as we need some additional time to consider your request, please be patient. Some of your concerns can be addressed at this time. Therefore,

      1) that you didn’t graduate from high school is not an immediate disqualification
      2) nor is the fact that you are a convicted felon
      3) an assignment to this Asian country does not necessarily require that you speak Spanish, although it would be helpful
      4) despite what you may have heard, we do offer generous days off, vacation, exemption from A.C.A., sick leave, personal days, meditation days, seminary days, being a good parent days, we observe all religious holidays, American holidays as well as those of the country of assignment, and a liberal leave policy
      5) no, we do not provide female companionship; however, we’ll provide the private number of a certain former president
      6) as a diplomat, we’ll allow you to carry whatever weapons you think you need, as long as you promise not to use them (we don’t want any international incidents)
      7) it’s really not necessary, but you might strongly consider changing your party affiliation.

      Finally, in closing, note that there are postage and handling charges for the processing of your paperwork and consideration of your case. So, if you would just mail-in a check in the amount of $425,000, it would help expedite matters. Also, for an additional $25,000, we can enclose a photo of the President and First Lady. Autographed ones are available for an added $50,000. You do realize that should you not receive the appointment none of these monies are refundable, although you will be sent a letter of sincere thanks for your interest.

  • TL says:

    In Tsunis’ case, the situation is so far gone and problematic there’s actually a petition calling for Tsunis’ withdrawal or defeat….

    Please do sign. Kindly keep comments civil. Thanks!

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