I have a confession. In my spare time, I’m either reading books in the Vince Flynn/W.E.B Griffin/Daniel Silva genre, books for VG Bookshelf, or romances. So, when I found out that Georgia Democrat candidate for Governor Stacey Abrams was, once upon a time, a romance novelist I thought I’d see what the fuss was about. Let me tell you folks, what she wrote was BAD ROMANCE in the category of ‘what the hell was that crap that I just read??!!’

The first inkling I had of this was when Marta wrote about Abrams and her love for extremist politicians here. Oh and let’s not forget Abrams current history of voter fraud. Which means Abrams romance writings under the pseudonym of Selena Montgomery escaped my notice.

Well, there’s a reason why Abrams was over $200,000 in debt. First of all, her romance novels, and I use that term loosely, were a supremely awful combination of progressive political virtue signaling and parody romance. Yet the media loves this! The Washington Post’s take:

Abrams, accordingly, links the work of social justice to the experience of falling in love. The plots of her books frequently echo the key pillars of her campaign platform — especially health care, criminal justice reform, child care and the environment. In “Secrets and Lies,” a professional thief and an ethnobotanist thwart big pharma by returning a valuable drug to indigenous peoples in South America. “Reckless” finds a defense lawyer and a sheriff teaming up to exonerate the black owner of an orphanage from a false accusation of murder. And in “Deception,” an FBI agent and a professional poker player prevent a nature preserve from being converted into biofuels.

Oh well, alrighty then! I guess this also involves Oprah dropping in for a visit and telling voters lynchings will happen if they vote for Kemp.

According to Abrams:

The best romance novels excavate your personal fears and how they impact your ability to have relationships, and then, the best part is the denouement.

And here I thought that romance novels were a way to escape reality because you know, they are FICTION! Yet, according to Abrams, her eight romance novels were teaching tools for us to better ourselves.

Oh and by the way, the publishing world is RACIST! you guys!

You write in the introduction to Minority Leader about facing racism in publishing, such as having your books placed only on shelves for urban black writers – what was your reaction to that and how did that experience prepare you for what you’re facing now in your campaign?
At the time it was deeply frustrating. I do know that it stunted my sales. [People would] read my book and write me and say, “I wouldn’t have found this but for someone giving it to me because the cover would’ve thrown me off.” In my campaign, there has certainly been a conversation about the role that race and gender play in my candidacy. In both cases, I am proud of the cover, but the cover should never blind us to the content.

"Good romantic suspense can never underestimate the audience, and the best political leaders know how to shape a compelling narrative that respects voters and paints a picture of what is to come."

— Sarah Weinman (@sarahw) October 22, 2018

Let’s talk about what really stunted her sales. It was her epically horrid WRITING! The Federalist’s Emily Jashinsky took one for the team:

As a romance novelist, Stacey Abrams leaned heavily on the word “plunder.” Her books are filled with bursting, cresting, and arching. There’s a fair amount of savoring. Men’s thighs are described as “muscled” and “corded.” 

Fair warning Victory Girl readers, if you do read what Emily wrote, please take bleach with you. We are NOT responsible for the coffee snorted through noses, ruined keyboards, nausea, and loss of brain cells. That said … I dare you!

According to the WaPo, Abrams torrid plunder filled romances are dedicated to self ownership and mutual support with the end result of championing of female solidarity.

In a nutshell, Abrams prose makes ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ look like Pulitzer Prize material!

Let’s face it Georgia voters. If you elect Stacey Abrams as Governor, you will have only yourselves to blame for the Bad Romance journey you’ve embarked upon.

Feature Photo Credit: RIK S LESSER/EPA-EFE/REX/Shutterstock