Both the House and the Senate decided to convene over the weekend to somehow keep the government open come Monday. Instead, it turned into a Blame Game as R’s and D’s pointed fingers at each other.

Needless to say, they settled nothing.

Let’s have a bit of fun with this situation, shall we? How about we give a hearty Dilly Dilly to the Good Guys? And we can also assign the Dastardly Villains to the Pit of Misery.

First — to the Pit!

• Sen. Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) deserves the Pit of Misery. On Saturday she fired at President Trump, declaring that she “will not be lectured about what our military needs by a five-deferment draft dodger.” You may have served, Ms. Duckworth, but the President deserves respect as the Commander in Chief. To the Pit with you!
• Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-IL) should join his colleague Duckworth in the Pit. Sneaky little weasel — he looked like he was all about compromise because he was so willing to support the Wall in exchange for support for Dreamers. But it’s not just the DACA folks he’s talking about, it’s their families, too. Chain migration, baby! For your bait-and-switch act, Gutierrez, you’re going to the Pit.
• CNN’s Jim Acosta, who is one of the most obnoxious members of the press pool. For hammering OMB Director Mick Mulvaney with the dumbass question, “How can it be the Schumer shutdown when the Republicans control the White House, the House, and the Senate?” he needs to play reporter from the Pit. Away with you!
• Butthurt Democrats who whined about this poster the Republicans put up on the House floor. Too bad, so sad! That Pit is getting mighty crowded, isn’t it?

A government shutdown rests on the shoulders of @SenateDems and @SenSchumer. They made the choice to put party politics over the good of the country. #SchumerShutdown https://t.co/u54rlIHRTO pic.twitter.com/EzZkddoJNq

— House Republicans (@HouseGOP) January 20, 2018

Finally, there’s no one who deserves the Pit of Misery more than Sen. “Chuck the Schmuck” Schumer. I don’t think I need to say more about him. And he can take his goggle-eyed wench, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, with him for company.

And now, on to the Dilly Dilly Awards!

• Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke deserves one because he spent his Saturday on the National Mall in Washington, DC, cleaning up trash and welcoming children to the World War II Memorial. “We’re not putting up barricades,” he said in an interview. “Absolutely not. We’re passing out brochures until we run out of brochures. I’ll be out here everyday.” Dilly Dilly, Mr. Secretary!
• The New York Times, believe or not. Why? Because they called out the shutdown for what it was — the fault of the Democrats. And it wasn’t just the NYT — the Associated Press and Bloomberg also blamed Democrats. They may be liberal media outlets, but we need to applaud them when they get it right. Dilly Dilly!
• Defense Secretary Jim Mattis, who continues to be the steady, stalwart hand in the Pentagon. He issued a memo to the Department of Defense, writing “Steady as she goes – hold the line. I know our nation can count on you,” before signing off with “Stay alert.” For refusing to expect any less than excellence from the military, even with a shutdown looming, we salute the ‘Warrior Monk’ with a rousing Dilly Dilly!

And now it’s Sunday. Congress is convening once again to hammer out a deal between two highly polarized political parties who are out for blood. Buckle your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. And I think there’s going to be a lot more folks taking a tour of the Pit of Misery before this is over.