We are citizens of the United States of America. We don’t do “royal” anything. But, we have known Prince Harry since he was born. He is a veteran and he makes sure veterans issues get heard. And, if you don’t love a good wedding then get an X-ray and make sure you have a heart. F’reals.

On Saturday, May 19, 2018, actress Meghan Markle will marry His Royal Highness Prince Henry of Wales (that’s his real name and official title). The hot couple is being married at St. George’s Chapel on the grounds of Windsor Castle. This is the same church that Harry Wales was christened in at age three months.

Just in case you are having a Royal Wedding 2018 watch party, I thought I would give you a peak at the possible menu. You might want to savor a few of the treats that the wedding guests will be enjoying. Fortuitously, there are extensive kitchen gardens at Windsor Castle, so freshness will not be a problem. According to a great article at Food & Wine:

Asparagus, tomatoes, and spring peas are all on the table as possible menu items, and many ingredients are even being sourced from the grounds of the royal families’ many estates, including Her Majesty’s Estate at Windsor.

And, check this our Harry and Meghan are not doing a sit down dinner. Whoa! They are not even doing a buffet. What? Harry and Meghan are doing “bowl food”. From the “UK Daily Mail”:

Yesterday it was revealed that the happy couple will not have a sit-down wedding breakfast after their ceremony on Saturday – but have plumped for trendy ‘bowl food’ instead.

Their 600 guests will be standing up in St George’s Hall at Windsor Castle when they are served seasonal ‘mini main courses’, made by the Queen’s kitchen staff and presented to them by liveried waiters and waitresses.

Bowl food has become a popular choice for business events because it is more sociable, allowing guests to mingle and network while eating.

Since I am not cool and I don’t people enough to “network”, I had to Google bowl food. According to an article from “The Wedding Community” on catering terms:

Small bowls of delicious food passed amongst your guests during a standing reception. A great choice for those looking for a casual reception .

So it’s bigger than finger food and smaller than plated food? This “casual” Royal Wedding is going to have 600 wedding guests standing around eating out of bowls. Well, no judgy face from me, but I hope all the wedding guests have good dry cleaners. “Bowl Food”? My first thought was Velveeta Rotel Dip. MMmmm, good stuff.

That’s the savories, but what about the sweets.

“Delish.com” reports that Pastry Chef Claire Ptak, along with Prince Harry and Miss Markle, has chosen a cake of lemon and elderflower for the wedding reception. “Elderflower”? What is that?

Yes, there’s that slightly herby flavor you’d get from edible flowers, but elderflower’s sweeter than you’d expect — and a little musky. It’s closer to lychee in flavor, and it has a crisp, palate-cleansing finish.

If you think about how blueberries add a sweet-tart flavor to a lemon muffin or scone, that’s exactly what elderflower’s doing in the royal couple’s cake. Only it adds a delicate floral flavor, too.

Well, I like blueberry and lemon together, but “delicate floral flavor” leaves me a little skeptical.

But, chocolate. Dig this report from “Inside Edition”:

Creme brulee and chocolate truffles? Come to Mama. Yes.

Since the Royal Wedding 2018 version, starts at 6:00 a.m. in the morning East Coast time or 3:00 a.m. Pacific time, you may not have the appropriate staff to develop your menu. Therefore, I offer a few humble suggestions for those of us who won’t be up early to cook or in my case, everyone knows #ToniCannotBake.

Twinings English Breakfast Tea is great and if you feel truly moto, you can slice a lemon for it. Cucumber and creme cheese sandwiches are great any time of the day and you can make them the night before, cover them tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate until you are awake enough to eat. In place of the traditional British tea meat pie, I will “take home a package of Tennessee Pride” sausage balls. Drool. Buy some scones and a jar of clotted creme (yummy in my tummy) and a jar of your favorite jelly. Wrap the scones in aluminum foil and heat at 170 degrees for 20 minutes. See if your local donut establishment has creme brulee donuts (Hello, Krispy Kreme.). Buy a ready made cake at the grocers and write “Congratulations Harry and Meghan” on it. And finally, chocolate truffles.

I am ordering some Monty Bojangles Choccy Scoffy Cocoa Dusted Truffles. More drool. I just hope they get here in time.

Stay with Victory Girls for all your Royal Wedding 2018 deets.