A Military Parade Is A Nice Idea, But

A Military Parade Is A Nice Idea, But

A Military Parade Is A Nice Idea, But

President Donald Trump has suggested holding a National Military Parade and it’s a nice idea. That sound that you hear is liberal and anti-military (intersecting groups) heads exploding across the nation. I hear that their brains are extra sticky, so be careful where you step. A military parade is a nice idea, Mr. President, but for several reasons, I have to say, “No, thank you.”

The Memorial Day Parade in Blue Ash, Ohio is a family tradition. Photo property of the City of Blue Ash, Ohio

I adore parades. The families lined along the route. The high school and college bands. The military and veterans groups. Beauty queens and floats. I know the United States of America didn’t invent the parade, and forgive my low class nationalism, but doggone it, we do parades right. My Dad is a Heaven-deployed Marine Sergeant. He cried watching the movie “The Long Gray Line.” I live in Knoxville, Tennessee and I don’t miss the Veterans Day Parade on Gay Street.

Vietnam Air Force Veteran Jimmy “Big Dawg” Avera and Gold Star Mom Amy Keene in the Knoxville Veterans Day Parade

My son is a graduate of The Citadel, The Military College of South Carolina. You want to talk about parades. Just about every Friday. I loved each and every parade and miss seeing the pageantry and history on display. Take a gander at this video, courtesy of The Citadel of the Regimental Band and Pipes. General Rosa, saluting, has since retired.

I think I have properly established my love of parades, right? NBC is reporting that lawmakers are not fond of the idea of a military parade. From the article:

Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., called the idea a “fantastic waste of money to amuse the president.”

“Take the money that the president would like to spend on this parade [and] instead, let’s make sure our troops are ready for battle and survive it and come home to their families,” Durbin, the Democratic minority whip, said on MSNBC Wednesday morning.


Rep. Lee Zeldin, R-N.Y., also expressed concerns about the parade, telling CNN on Tuesday night, “I don’t believe we should have tanks or nuclear weapons going down Pennsylvania Avenue.”

“We need to fund the entire military for the rest of the year. The continuing resolutions are absolutely not the way to go, especially as it relates to funding the Department of Defense,” Zeldin, a member of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, said.

“Cost would be a factor,” he said of the parade.

I come from a family of farmers and coal miners—you know the kind that support Donald Trump—so the idea of tanks and nuclear weapons rolling down Pennsylvania Avenue rocks my world. Cost is a huge problem and there I have to agree with Rep. Zeldin.

Would it be worth it to see liberals heads explode again? Maybe.

Apparently, Donald Trump got the idea for the parade after seeing a French military parade with French President Emmanuel Macron. As Lt. Colonel Ralph Peters noted on Fox News this morning, the French march well. Cue French laughter, “Hon, Hon, Hon.” The Washington Post says the French Parade is groovy because it celebrates Bastille Day and the French Revolution. Okay, guys. Don’t lose your heads. The Washington Post also notes:

After Trump emphasized the size of his “nuclear button” in January, observers from the United States and elsewhere criticized the remarks as “infantile” and ill-advised.

“Trump plays with the subject so carelessly and recklessly as if it were some kind of video game,” Aaron David Miller, a fellow at the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars who has advised several secretaries of state, said on Twitter. “My head’s exploding.”

As tempting as that is, Mr. Miller, um, still going to have to pass.

President George H.W. Bush greets General Norman Schwarzkopf at the 1991 Military Parade to celebrate Victory in the First Gulf War, 1991

Our last military parade was in 1991 at the end of the first Gulf War. It was beautiful. We were a different country. If Rep. Luis Gutierrez was triggered by chants of “USA, USA,” the sphincter muscles of the entire Democrat party would clench at the same time their heads exploded at the sight of tanks on Pennsylvania Avenue. Tempting as the spectacle would be, I still say no.

In addition to being cost prohibitive, a parade would be a logistical nightmare. Troops would be called away from family time and, more importantly, training time. The draw-down and sequester have taken a toll on our military, Mr. President. Since 2013, USA today reports, more SEALs have died in training than on operations. Our Navy ships are running into and over other ships. Our jet mechanics are cannibalizing non-working jets to get spare parts. Yesterday, it was reported that the Defense Logistics Agency lost $800 million.

One final thing: I love local military parades. Veterans Day, the Fourth of July, and Memorial Day. As a matter of fact, Mr. President, Farragut, Tennessee has a Fourth of July Parade every year. Farragut, Tennessee is named after Admiral David Farragut. “Damn the Torpedoes,” sound familiar?

Farragut’s greatest fame came from the August 5, 1864 Battle of Mobile Bay. The Confederates had placed a large number of “torpedoes” in the waters. The monitor USS Tecumseh struck a torpedo and began to sink, causing the rest of the fleet to back away from the mine-infested waters.

At the time, Farragut was watching the battle while lashed to the rigging of his flagship (USS Hartford). Alarmed, Farragut shouted, “What’s the trouble?” The USS Brooklyn answered, “Torpedoes!” Farragut shouted back, “Damn the torpedoes! Four Bells! Captain Drayton, go ahead! Jouett, full speed!” In the end, Farragut’s fleet defeated Confederate Admiral Franklin Buchanan and the last open seaport on the Gulf of Mexico fell to the Union.

This is a win, win, win. It’s a nice parade. It’s in a Southern town named after a Northern Civil War hero and you could shout, “Damn the torpedoes!” I think it’s a winning idea.

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  • Wfjag says:

    It’s the centennial of the end of WW I. A Veterans Day parade, honoring current and past veterans of the past century seems like an excellent idea.

    • Toni Williams says:

      That would be cool. I wonder if there is any WWI equipment left that we could parade down Pennsylvania Avenue?

  • Brian Swisher says:

    Perhaps Civil War reenactors? What reenactor wouldn’t jump at the chance to do a Grand Review in Washington City?

  • GWB says:

    observers from the United States and elsewhere criticized the remarks as “infantile”
    Oy vey. These people need to take the stick out of their backside.

    We were a different country.
    Which is maybe why we should have another one.

    Our jet mechanics are cannibalizing non-working jets to get spare parts.
    Our maintainers have *ALWAYS* cannibalized hangar queens for spare parts. Even when we’ve been “fully funded”.

    you could shout, “Damn the torpedoes!”
    Heh. The only problem with the President showing up for a local parade is the security becomes disruptive to the local event. It’s unfortunate, but our current level of “OMG, the President is the only human on earth who can save us!” makes for insane security.

    Which leads to….
    Why can’t DC have a local parade? There’s plenty of military within a couple hundred miles of DC. Heck, you could put together a miles long parade just by making the schlubs in the Puzzle Palace Pentagon get off their duffs and walk in formation. And the security for the President is baked in. Also, I agree with Wfjag – make it a 100th Armistice Day celebration. Though, I might add to make it a 50th anniversary celebration of winning the Tet Offensive. Now *THAT* would make some hippie heads explode!

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