When Press Secretary Jen Psaki announced Joe Biden’s first press conference last week, the assumption by all of us was that it would give him plenty of time to practice. The Biden/Harris minions even scheduled the presser for 1:15 Eastern Daylight Time. This ensures that Joe’s Sundowners won’t have manifested and that as few eyeballs are on screens as possible. To be fair, both Trump and Bush 43 held their first press conferences in the early afternoon.

It was a little disconcerting, on Wednesday, when Joe was asked about the press conference, he responded, “What press conference?”.

Tomorrow is going to be hilarious. https://t.co/lQsfHC0CpX

— The Columbia Bugle 🇺🇸 (@ColumbiaBugle) March 25, 2021

Since Joe gave a giggle grin after, he could have been messing with the press, or he could have really not remembered.
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Beginning twelve minutes late, Biden began with an update on vaccinations and schools. He set a second goal: 200 million shots in 100 days. Of course, most states are already ahead of reaching that goal. His goal is to meet a majority of schools open. And, of course, some states never closed. And, he brought up the “stimmy” the $1400,00 people are getting that is costing them about $5,000.00. Um, somewhere that is called usury.

Answering the first question, he spent most of the time looking down at his notes and moving them. “Here’s the deal.” And, he said, “We’re going to take each of these issues one at a time. Or, some simultaneously.” For real.

His second question went to Yamiche Alcindor. She asked about the border. He answered they are coming because he is a nice guy. He claimed that today the Secretary of Defense made 5,000 bed available at Fort Bliss. Except that was announced yesterday. Here is Alcindor:

Biden just called on @Yamiche from his hand-picked list of reporters, who proceeded to ask one of the most embarrassing, partisan questions I've ever seen. pic.twitter.com/BfsmwZksLH

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) March 25, 2021

In talking about the filibuster, he totally lost his place.

His fourth question went to Cecilia Vega. She circled back to immigration. She talked about a nine year old boy whose mother sent him alone from Honduras. His mother sent him because she heard that Biden was not deporting children. That’s a 38 day trip. And, now he is in an overcrowded, soft-sided pod. The Donna, Texas facility is at 1556% capacity, according to Vega. Joe said he will let reporters into the facility when he is ready. In other words, when he has cleaned them up and they are camera ready.

The fifth question was about ending the “forever war” in Afghanistan. Biden said that we will not likely meet the May 1, 2021 deadline because it’s “tactically” difficult. It’s not Biden’s intention to stay for a long time.

The next question was about reporters having access to the migrant facilities. Biden said that he will commit to transparency when he is ready. I kid you not. He said he doesn’t know “when that will be, to be clear”.

The reporter followed up with North Korea’s launching two missiles ahead of the Japan Olympics. Biden mumbled something about diplomacy. Considering Kim Jung-Un won’t take his calls that diplomacy isn’t working out so well.

Next up was a question about the filibuster. His answer was so bizarre I had to rely on Twitter:

BIDEN Q8: Filibuster. Is it a relic of the Jim Crow era – do you agree?

BIDEN Ansr8: Yes.

FOLO: Then why not abolish it?

BIDEN: Successful politics is the art of the possible. Let's try to curb abuse of the filibuster first of all.

— Lisa Desjardins (@LisaDNews) March 25, 2021

Justin Sink of Bloomberg asked about China. Biden repeated the trope that he has spent more time with Xi Jinping than anyone else. Biden says he made it clear to Xi in a congratulatory phone call that China must play by international rules. “We are going to hold China accountable to follow the rules.” That sound you hear is Xi Jinping laughing.

Repeatedly, Joe said “our democracy”. We have a Republic.

Sink then mentioned the shootings in Georgia and Colorado. Biden said that gun control is a matter of timing. He then segued, apropos of absolutely nothing, to infrastructure and “good paying jobs”. Really good jobs is the 2021 version of the 2009 line “shovel ready jobs”, where we wasted $800 billion. He didn’t want to answer Sink’s question but there was no smooth transition.

Circling back to immigration Biden stumbled over finding a hook for a story on why people are coming now. He said that people aren’t sitting around a hand-hewn table and someone says, Hey, I have a great idea,let’s sell everything we have, give it to a coyote and leave.”

You can watch the full press conference below. I don’t recommend it:

Joe got apoplectic talking about voting rights. He compared having rules about voting to Jim Crow. And, he never, ever missed an opportunity to slam the GOP and President Trump.

Much of the one hour and two minutes was like listening to Crazy Uncle Joe telling “hairy leg and Corn Pop” stories. This was embarrassing and, largely, substance free. We were told that his first press conference would be a test of Joe’s new, verbal discipline. Joe failed, bigly. Even with a set list of reporters to call on and pre-scripted answers, he failed. The press for its part did act as a Praetorian Guard.

I don’t believe Joe will be having another press conference.

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