Here it is: Your Douchery Roundup

Here it is: Your Douchery Roundup

Here it is: Your Douchery Roundup

I really need to stay off social media for a while. The amount of unhinged DERP! has reached epic levels, and unfortunately social media tends to perpetuate it. It spreads like an unchecked case of chlamydia in a college dorm, and the amount of full turnip douchery threatens to make my eyes bleed. And yet… I can’t look away. It’s like a train wreck from which you can’t avert your eyes – morbid, and yet, fascinating.

Here’s a sampling.

Marvel’s Ant Man and the Wasp came out this weekend. I haven’t see it yet, but I’m assuming it will be like all other Marvel fare – smartass, sassy, fun, and well acted. I liked the first one a lot, so I’m assuming the second installment will be much of the same. But oh, NO!

The Daily Beast’s resident “disabled freelance film critic and pop culture essayist” (read: social justice harpy) Kristen Lopez is here to take the joy and fun out of your life with her essay about just how terribly ableist and not woke enough the movie is!

The Marvel movie’s antagonist suffers from chronic pain. Instead of exploring a way for her to cope, the film simply conjures up a magic cure and ableist tropes about disability.


Instead of helping Ava find a way to cope (and not necessarily eradicate) her disability, the film seeks to provide a cure. It does so with its own version of “white science,” a term coined by author Carol Clover in her psychoanalytic exploration of horror films, Men, Women, and Chainsaws. It refers to anything considered to be “Western traditional medicine,” usually dispensed or controlled by a white man. The quantum realm functions as this film’s white science, a magical but wholly scientific world discovered by Hank Pym. Once she is freed from the realm, Janet offers to save Ava by transferring her quantum energy into her. She lays her hands on Ava—a technique often associated with tent revival preachers who “cured” poor, afflicted people by touch—and saves the woman through scientific technology.

Oh, NO! Disability is cured, and that’s terribly ableist, because what person in pain would rather cure the agony than just find ways to cope with it? If they got rid of their disability, that implies disability is a negative trait! Instead of worshiping at the altar of disability and holding disabled people up as immaculate heroes, we’re implying that they’re something less than perfect!

WE CAN’T HAVE THAT! We would rather have people living in pain, so we can advance our social agenda!

What. The. Bleeding. Fuck.

We would rather have disabled people continue to suffer pain, so that idiots like Kristen Lopez can have something about which to clutch their pearls (I, for one, would rather see her strangle herself with them).

Meanwhile, on Larry Correia’s blog, reminding folks to vote for the Dragon Awards, a commenter either has reached epic troll level, or has gone full turnip. Larry is not sure which one, and frankly, I’m not either, but the derpery is epic! If you don’t know, Larry’s Monster Hunter International (MHI) series is about fighting the forces of evil in the world – monsters like vampires, werewolves, etc. According to “Throbbin Yobbin” (I can’t make this shit up), that’s an evil, racist microaggression.

The whole novel was about the government paying mouth-breathing yahoos to shoot non-Caucasian analogues and they do it better than the government’s own White Supremacist police forces. Of course, the best part was how the “Uncle Tom” werewolf character was the real hero of the story just like race traitors like Clarence Thomas and Ayaan Hirsi Ali.

These kind of novels encourage vigilante death squads like the “Minutemen” who go around murdering brown people at random because they deem them to be illegal. As much as I despise the Trump policy of robbing brown people of their children, it’s still better than the Minutemen yahoos who simply kill on sight when seeing a non-Caucasian.

I really hope that this creature turns out to be a genius-level troll!

Speaking of DERP!, tonight’s announcement about Trump’s Supreme Court nomination should elicit legendary levels of unhinged batshittery. Personally, I’m getting my popcorn ready, because if this selection is anything like the awesome Neil Gorsuch, leftist heads should be exploding fantastically all over the Internet.

It’s already starting, y’all. Unhinged malcontents at New York University were quick to condemn President Trump’s SCOTUS pick this weekend.

Area of concern: He hasn’t made it yet.


Meanwhile, the founder of the #walkaway movement (otherwise known as the “Democrats have lost their everloving shit and are no longer a viable, sane alternative for anyone” movement) Brandon Straka – an eloquent, passionate, and let’s face it, incredibly hot gay man was unceremoniously denied a purchase at an electronics store recently, because the cashier recognized him as the founder of the campaign, and refused to sell him a camera, because he was afraid Brandon would use it for “alt-right” purposes.

“Are you planning to use this equipment for alt-right purposes?” Straka said the salesperson asked him.

Straka said the salesperson recognized him from his campaign and said that he couldn’t sell anything to him because he did not support the “#WalkAway” campaign.

This is on the heels of the Red Hen restaurant denying service to Sarah Sanders and Maxine Waters following up with autistic screeching, advising her unhinged followers to publicly target and harass members of the Trump administration and another deranged fuckwit physically assaulting a kid in a burger joint for wearing a MAGA hat. Fortunately, this particular unbalanced, disgruntled shit canoe has been fired and arrested.

Worse yet, the Twitter DERP! continues in support of actual assault against a kid wearing an article of clothing! Assault. But hey, it’s against a kid who supports Trump, so it’s allowed. Note the number of retweets and likes on the tweet below.

I would submit that TMZ employee and podcaster Van Latham has never been a decent person if he supports physical assault against another human being merely because said human being holds opposing political views.

Then we have leftist outrage about the new University of Wyoming marketing campaign, because SEXISTRACISTSOMETHING… Because cowboys are now racist, sexist, and counterproductive.

And MOAR OUTRAGE at William Shatner. After savaging a snowflake accusing him of bigotry because of his opposition to the renaming of the Laura Ingalls Wilder literary award, Shatner is now being accused of racism by an “academic,” Brigitte Fielder, who apparently teaches at UW-Madison and another tenured professor at Penn named Ebony Elizabeth (how original) who advised the actor to “stay in his lane,” because he apparently doesn’t understand bigotry, misogyny, racism, or any other grievance the social justice harpies are wailing about this week.

The subsequent events are definitely popcorn-and schadenfreude-worthy.

Captain Kirk doesn’t like being told to stay in his lane. He claps back.

Fielder, perhaps suddenly remembering she lacks tenure, makes her account private. Shatner, sensing a momentary advantage, calls her a “troll” and tags Penn and the University of Wisconsin, saying the schools should “check out” the professors who can’t stay in their “lane” (that phrase again).

Elizabeth accuses Shatner of calling black women professors trolls. A novelist charges him with using “his immense power to go after the jobs of black women professors.”

Other social justice gargoyles piled on, and when they couldn’t outwit Shatner, they simply fell back on their victim status.

This is what they do. They assault you. They attack you. They vocally and proudly support those who do via social media, because most of them are too cowardly to face you in person. And when you call them on their unhinged hatred and ignorance, they play victim in a weak attempt to show just how unfair and bigoted the world is, conveniently forgetting that they caused the much deserved opprobrium tossed in their direction.

And when the Right finally fights back, they cry about poor little them being victimized.

Welcome to the age of insanity.

Written by

Marta Hernandez is an immigrant, writer, editor, science fiction fan (especially military sci-fi), and a lover of freedom, her children, her husband and her pets. She loves to shoot, and range time is sacred, as is her hiking obsession, especially if we’re talking the European Alps. She is an avid caffeine and TWD addict, and wants to own otters, sloths, wallabies, koalas, and wombats when she grows up.

  • Toni Williams says:

    So is Ebony Elizabeth really “Whoa Black Betty”?

  • GWB says:

    the founder of the #walkaway movement … was … denied a purchase … because the cashier … was afraid Brandon would use it for “alt-right” purposes.
    The progs really don’t grasp that when you call everyone Hitler, eventually they will stop giving a flip whether they are or not. And they will eventually act JUST. LIKE. YOU.

    I would submit that TMZ employee and podcaster Van Latham has never been a decent person if he thinks a MAGA hat is akin to a swastika
    Minor Fix.

    the new University of Wyoming marketing campaign
    Oh, fer cryin’ out loud.
    Can we finally reinstate gov’t-run asylums and start rounding these idiots up? They are simply not SANE.

    “stay in his lane”
    Oh, no, you didn’!

    Can we PLEASE invade Mexico now? Because I want to trade all the good people living in the hellhole that is northern Mexico for these idjits. I’m not sure it’s a fair swap even at 11:1, but Mexico really can’t complain.

  • Skid Marx says:

    Not Slappy Maxie the Clown! Thanks I needed a good laugh. Any word on her husband paying back the $13.5 million dollar loan for his bank that sobama swept under the rug?
    Yea…not so much about that on the nightly Bolshevik propaganda report but we got the precious crying foreign children on audio and video loop.

  • LosAngelesKing says:

    I really need to not be having a drink when I’m reading Marta’s columns, the computer keyboard and monitor can’t handle the beer spray from the laughing. And I should have known from the title alone that SJWs would be getting another well-deserved coal-raking from Marta.

    “The amount of unhinged DERP! has reached epic levels, and unfortunately social media tends to perpetuate it. It spreads like an unchecked case of chlamydia in a college dorm, and the amount of full turnip douchery threatens to make my eyes bleed.”

    Same here, but the problem for me is I’ve been banned from plenty of SJW shitlib websites, Twatter and almost Faceborg (voluntarily left that one) for mocking and trolling the ever changing sacred cows of the psychopathic, totalitarian left. Good job mocking the bottom feeding, parasitic maggots of the left. While we justifiably despise them for the civilization destroying vermin that they really are, they provide of things to laugh at them, and mock them about.

    After all, shitlibs are gonna shitlib.

  • Scott says:

    It is truly sad how ignorant, uninformed, and racist those students are…. especially the douchenozzle with the ISIS beard… he talks about the SCOTUS wearing white sheets, and burning crosses…. he doesn’t seem to realize that the three women currently on the court are leftist as hell, and support probably all of his positions… and what really makes his comments humorous is that he is so stupid he doesn’t understand that those wearing white hoods and burning crosses targeted CATHOLICS…. just like Feinstein did to Barrett…. as always these morons ignore that it was / is THEIR party who is the KKK….

  • disgustedDave says:

    “And when the Right finally fights back, they cry about poor little them being victimized.” Invest in kleenex and let the crying begin.

  • Bill G says:

    “And when the Right finally fights back, they cry about poor little them being victimized.”
    This has been in the left’s playbook for quite some time. Start a fight, start namecalling, start questioning something about a candidate, and when there’s a response suddenly shout “Hey! You don’t want to start that! We’ll hit back!” As if they had not swung first.

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