Five Christmas Gift Ideas For Public Figures

Five Christmas Gift Ideas For Public Figures

Five Christmas Gift Ideas For Public Figures

Christmas time is here. It’s the Season of Giving. Or, if you are of another faith or non-believer, it’s time to light up the darkness. We love to give gifties to the special people in our lives, but sometimes we feel generous and give them to those we intensely dislike, a lot. Namely, our public figures. The media and our elected officials have been in our faces this entire year. With that in mind, here are a few gift ideas for those who have been screeching and preaching at us all damn year long.

For Certain Senate Republicans:

Just in case, Speaker Pelosi does hand over the Articles of Impeachment, several pairs of toasty, warm socks for those who might get cold feet about acquitting the President. Senator Chris Murphy (D-CT) told Newsweek that he believes there are five Republican Senators who might vote to convict President Trump. The five might be Mitt Romney, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, Cory Gardner, and Lamar Alexander. Merry Christmas and Happy Retirement, Lamar. Tennessee wont miss you. Don’t any of you get cold feet.

The Media, All Of The Idiots

Every time we turn on a device for the news, the media is screaming at us. Therefore, the perfect Christmas gift for them, all of the idiots, is a desktop, Miniature Screaming Goat. This, right here, is what you sound like to those of smelly Walmart shoppers. And, in the coming year, shut the fu*k up, please.

North West

Therapy. Tons of therapy. For those who don’t know, North West is the oldest spawn of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. I was perusing Page Six this morning and there was a brief article about this poor child. Apparently, the six year old attended her father’s opera carrying a $10,000.00 Birken bag. I don’t give a plump rat’s backside what the rich and famous do to themselves, but please don’t screw up your children. Have you two learned nothing about what happens when you give a child too much, too soon? Kanye has been epically screwed up since he achieved fame at an early age. Kim became famous for a sex tape at age 20. You would think they would be especially aware. You would be wrong. Here is an article that describes the consequences. They ain’t pretty.

Democrats All Across The Country

A copy of the United States Constitution. Despite Democrats quoting from it and the Founding Fathers during the Impeachment Hearings, they seem to think it is a Chinese menu. Pick one from column A and two from column B. No, siree. It’s all or nothing. Just take a gander at Jodi’s post on the Second Amendment today, and you will see what I mean. You can read it here.

Adam “Shifty” Schiff

A conscience for Christmas. It might be too little, too late, but Adam cannot go on without a conscience. Well, he can, but we can’t tolerate the shit that spews from his mouth. Adam goes on preaching about Trump’s crimes without acknowledging his own. Remember when he totally made up the tale of Trump’s talk with Ukrainian President Zelensky. Or, the two plus years that Schiff spent on the airwaves saying that he had concrete evidence that Trump had colluded with the Russians. Or, speaking of Russia, remember when the two shock jocks duped Schiff by telling him they had compromat on Trump. The only Russian collusion was Schiff. Here is the full phone call:

The call wasn’t brief. It went on for eight minutes and Shit totally bought it. He has never apologized. I kind of feel sorry for Shit having to go through life with zero conscience.

Christmas Gift For Those We Love The Most

I have given my five Christmas gift ideas for those who have annoyed us. But, there are those we love the most. For all of our military personnel at home and abroad. For those standing a post. For those on patrol. For those sitting at a desk for twenty-four hours so that others can be at home. A big huge hug. You are all that stands between us and the evil people. Big, big hug.

Image Credit: Toni S. Holt Williams/All Rights Reserved

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