Eric Swalwell: 2020 Desperation to Out-Left the Left

Eric Swalwell: 2020 Desperation to Out-Left the Left

Eric Swalwell: 2020 Desperation to Out-Left the Left

Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-ipshit, CA) is desperate to become President. Given the ever-expanding Democratic primary primate field, it’s no surprise if you don’t know who this guy is, and because the field is already filled with progressive superstars with name recognition, like Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, and Kamala Harris (the current media darling), along with fawning press and socialist credentials, Swalwell Smallballs needs to do something to stand out.

In case you’ve forgotten, Smallballs’ first true brush with fame infamy (except for getting to meet Barack Obama) was that time he shivered with pleasure at the idea of the government nuking gun owners into submission if they didn’t obey the government diktats to hand over their firearms. The government has nukes, he warned a reader who engaged him on Twitter.

After Joe Biggs tweeted that Mr. Swalwell “wants a war” over the Second Amendment, Mr. Swalwell responded, “And it would be a short war my friend.”

“The government has nukes.Too many of them. But they’re legit,” the congressman tweeted. “I’m sure if we talked we could find common ground to protect our families and communities.”

The Twitter reaction was swift and merciless, and Smallballs quickly tried to walk his inelegant comment back by adding that “No one is nuking anyone or threatening that.” All you gun owners are just hysterical drama queens. My #nukeallgunowners comment is perfectly normal; it’s you people who are inflaming the gun debate!

So, a US Congressman voices his opinion that the US government would win a war against US gun owners by nuking them, but it’s gun owners who are being dramatic.


Luckily for Smallballs, that little shitstorm died a quick and painless death. However, if you think that he is done sticking his feet in his mouth all the way to the knees, you’d be mistaken.

See, Smallballs is desperate to out-prog the proglodytes, so he has taken on the mantle of Gun Control Superhero. After all, he can’t claim to be Native American, he can’t go shopping for a tacky jacket with media gal pals, and he just doesn’t have the crazy Bernie do. So what’s a young, enterprising California leftist to do to get attention in his quest for the White House?


The article Smallballs claims is a threat to Nancy Pelosi and Gabrielle Giffords talks about the Democrats targeting gun owners with tyrannical, unreasonable, odious legislation that would infringe on their right to dispose of their personal property as they see fit, erode their right to keep and bear arms, and make purchasing a firearm more cost prohibitive to the people who most need access to tools of self-defense.

The gist of it is right below the title, which Smallballs either didn’t read, couldn’t read, or hoped that his room-temperature IQ supporters overlooked.

Screen capture Twitter, altered

That moment when you prove yourself a dolt with a single tweet.

Seems to me Smallballs is the last person who should be talking about hyperbole in a magazine, given his glee at the thought of the government targeting gun owners exercising their civil rights with nuclear weapons

But he just keeps talking, because the only issue he has left to show his progressive credentials is gun control.

Prosecute gun owners. Confiscate their “assault weapons.” Arrest those who refuse to give up their arms. Think Smallballs has the testicular fortitude to go to American gun owners’ homes to collect the guns he wants bans?

Poor Smallballs. He doesn’t have Kamala Harris’ cool Jamaican/Indian heritage, he hasn’t come out in favor of universal health care, child care, or anything else, and he just can’t beat Bernie Sanders’ charisma! He’s not HAWT like Tulsi Gabbard, and he also doesn’t have her military service cred. The closest Smallballs has come to hardship is when he claims to have walked a few blocks to find a different Starbucks because the closest one to him during a New York trip was in Trump Tower, and he didn’t want to get those Trump cooties on him when having the plebes inside the coffee shop make him his half-caf soy latte with just a splash of vanilla.

In other words, Smallballs only has his gun control wet dreams to cling on to. The “free shit” contingent of the Democratic primary field has already gobbled up all the good issues and taken up all the minority slots, and since not a single NRA member has committed acts of violence, and the NRA has never actually called for violence against any legislator at any time, poor Eric is relegated to the back of the Democrat bus.

That’s where they put the biggest morons (and smarmy, somewhat punchable white boys, who are desperate to be woke), and let them lick the windows in peace.


Featured photo: Official White House Photo by Pete Souza -Flickr (cropped, the image is in the public domain).

Written by

Marta Hernandez is an immigrant, writer, editor, science fiction fan (especially military sci-fi), and a lover of freedom, her children, her husband and her pets. She loves to shoot, and range time is sacred, as is her hiking obsession, especially if we’re talking the European Alps. She is an avid caffeine and TWD addict, and wants to own otters, sloths, wallabies, koalas, and wombats when she grows up.

  • Bill G says:

    But, but, but, … you don’t understand! He’s trying to close the Kiosk Loophole! He wants to shut down those corner stands run by the vile NRA, where they try to give M17s, AK-48s and machine guns to everyone passing by!!!!
    (As Maxwell Smart would have said, “That’s what they’d like you to believe”.)

  • windbag says:

    He always comes across as still being butt hurt about those girls laughing at him back in the eighth grade.

  • Bart says:

    Smallballs = perfect.

  • Robert Arvanitis says:

    Swallwell is a fool
    The issue is not “Could the US military win a land war?”
    It’s ‘Would the military obey immoral, unconstitutional orders to violate American civil rights at the point of a gun?”
    And THAT answer is clearly “Hell no.”

  • Dave says:

    This sort of lefter-than-thou holiness-spiraling was all the rage in 1920s Russia too. Stalin out-holied them all, first purging the “Reactionaries” (everyone to the right of Stalin), then liquidating the “Trotskyites” (everyone to the left of Stalin).

    If Trotsky had beaten Stalin, the holiness spiral would have continued until Hitler marched the Wehrmach into the uninhabited wasteland where Russia used to be.

    The self-immolation of a left-wing party is a fun thing to watch, if you manage to stay outside the blast radius.

  • Pat says:

    I do love that NYC picture. There is less than an eighth of an inch of snow on the ground but his facial expression looks like he’s trying to reach the summit of Everest.

    Typical bay area pussy.

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