Next stop on Dysfunction Junction is Pontiac, Michigan. Where a woman, man is suing his former lover for throwing out a jar of nutz.

Now, we’re not talking cashews or almonds or chestnuts, we’re talking nutz. Balls. Cojones. In the freaking refrigerator! As the story goes:

Brianna (we will call him Brian) Kingsley, 40, last year filed a small claims petition claiming her ex, William Wojciechowski, 37,’retains possession of my surgically extracted testicles, preserved in (a) Mason jar, kept in (the) fridge next to the eggs.'”-Yaron Steinbuch, The New York Post

He wants his NUTZ so bad, he was willing to maintain them in a mason jar in his fridge. Sounds like Brian cannot let go of the past. Sheesh. Perhaps this mentally deranged human being should have not had his nutz removed in the first place!

We’re talking about my nuts…I wanted them in my fridge — not his. The damages were the loss of these nuts.”-Brian(a) Kingsley

The plot gets thicker (language NSFW):

Yes, you heard that right. “Briana” is now a Muslim-converted to Islam.

Brian, the transgender Muslim sans nutz lost his bid to sue his ex for throwing out the moldy mason jar housing his old testicles yesterday. While ex-lover, William Wojciechowski, filed a​ counterclaim for the same amount, claiming he’d been “humiliated” by coverage of the nutty case by “worldwide news outlets,” the Detroit News reported.

They were rotting in my fridge. She didn’t keep them in a biohazard container like she was supposed to.”-William Wojciechowski

What a sentence pic.twitter.com/SydhAdtObh

— brit (@pashedmotatos) February 9, 2024

Exactly. The judge in this case called the whole thing “a wash” since he wasn’t exactly sure where the $6500-figure came from. (That’s a mere $3,250 per gonad):

I can put a dollar amount on, say, if you were missing work at $16 an hour,” he said. But as to testicles, I can’t really put a number on it.”-District Court Judge Jeremy Bowie

Imagine being on this jury?

Possession is 9/10ths of the law, right?@JeffyJFR @realKrisCruz

— Republic of Texas (@newtex15) February 9, 2024

And so, it looks like Brian is not getting any damages for his removed and discarded testicles. And William is not getting any damages for any of the humiliation he suffered whilst this with this freak show. Admittedly, this guy has to be a bit off his rocker, too, for allowing moldy, old removed human testicles to sit in the fridge next to the salami. Oh, wait a minute. Brian is a Muslim and HE does not eat pork. Next to the hummus, then.

Hopefully you have finished and digested your breakfast by now because, if not, the following will make you even more ill. Kingsley’s surgery was paid for by the state because “she” is “disabled”:

…her surgery at Henry Ford Hospital in March 2022 cost $20,000, but noted that the state covered the charge because she’s disabled, according to the outlet.”-Yaron Steinbuch, The New York Post

The STATE paid for Brian to get his balls removed. In the meantime, most people have to wait over a month to get in to see their primary physician for a check up.v Meanwhile, this person waltzes in to have a $20,000 surgery paid for by the state of Michigan. What in the world is happening here? For the life of me, I cannot get my head around this.

If I take the wheels off of a car… It’s still a car. He has mental illness and should be seeing a psychologist not a lawyer. pic.twitter.com/OP0EDSfeOl

— Kevin's Clips and Quips (@KCAQs) February 9, 2024

Kingsley, a “disabled” man who thinks he is a woman (and a Muslim), showed up to court with a small dog as an “emotional support animal”. I know what you’re thinking. That poor pup has to live in such dysfunction. There isn’t anything bringing this guy’s sanity back. No amount of emotional support could do this. That poor animal deserves a good home and to be around normal humans or at least some pizzle but alas, William, the jolted lover, threw it all away.

Nothing more to see here. This is 2024. This is the lunacy and sheer insanity and nuttiness brought on by more Democrats in this nation. Perhaps Brian Kingsley can take a one-way trip with Rashida Tlaib to Palestine and be amongst “her” fellow Muslims who will love and accept “her” and sympathize with “her” for all of the pain and suffering “she”‘s experienced because her male lover threw away her beloved former nutz. They may give “her” a loving and wonderfully freeing experience off the rooftop of a building.

Here’s your public service announcement for today, kids: when in doubt, throw it out.

Photo Credit: Sage Ross, CC BY-SA 3.0 , via Wikimedia Commons