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Reparations made easy!
Check your white privilege and avoid being canceled with this easy to use application. Developed at the direction of the Official Black Lives Matter Organization, you can now be assured you are not just paying your required reparations but are doing the right thing every day.
1) Are you white? Answer a few basic questions and be assigned your level of reparations.
2) Are you Jewish, Asian, or dot-Indian? Congratulations! As model minorities, you are white, too!
Once installed, it is linked to your GooglePay or ApplePay account and you will be assigned a monthly fee that will be automatically deducted.
NOW THE FUN BEGINS! Collect your Pallor Points to reduce your monthly reparations fee!
Earn points by:
• Purchases at black-owned businesses
• Connect to Amazon and purchase books by BLM approved authors
• Participate in official BLM sponsored protests
• Post on social media unqualified support for BLM and all policies advanced by the organization
• Vote for Democrats
• Get a Republican, libertarian or conservative fired from their job
• Upload personal videos of yourself kneeling before, or apologizing to, black people
Careful! You can lose points by:
• Purchases at stores that are not on BLM approved list*
• If your Amazon Book purchases contain any title with the words on the Official BLM Trigger List. Examples include: Liberty, Patriotic, Freedom, Constitution, Individual Rights
• Attending any speech or event sponsored by Republican, Libertarian, or Conservative organizations
• Attending any Christian church or Jewish temple not on an official BLM-approved list
• Being employed as a police officer, probation officer or member of the military
Pallor Points aren’t just for individuals. Join BLM’s Woke Partnership Plan™ and make sure your white-privileged employees earn their Pallor Points!
• The more white employees you have participating, the higher your ranking on the BLM Approved Business List
• When you sponsor an official BLM event, both you and your employees benefit with Woke Bonus Points.
*NOTE: Businesses and Organizations ineligible to participate in the Woke Partnership Plan™ include:
• All Judicial institutions, including but not limited to police, probation, district attorney and park rangers
• All non-Left educational institutions, think tanks, publishing houses, news organizations, internet platforms, legal organizations, non-profits and charities.
Note: this is satire
featured image, original graphics by Darleen Click. Also includes Adobe Stock image under standard license
“Note: this is satire”… For now… I’m sure someone is working on just such a thing
The almost silly version of China’s Social Credit system.
Sadly, Darleen, I’m not laughing.
We only laugh because the alternative is to cry.
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