The social justice warriors in their heroic black capes took a break from smoking their weed in mom’s basement and descended upon University of Colorado Colorado Springs (UCCS) this past week. In a newsletter entitled The Social Justice Collective Weekly, an essay appeared on a common bulletin board suggesting military veterans be banned from attending four-year universities.

The newsletter, written by an individual known as Terry Steinawitz went something like this:

First off, many veterans openly mock the ideas of diversity and safe spaces for vulnerable members of society. This is directly in contradiction to the mission of UCCS. Many veterans utter the mantra that they, “do not see color”. But the problem lies in their socialization into the military culture that is that of a white supremacist organization. They have been permanently tainted, and are no long fit for a four-year university.

The illogical rambling continues:

Second, many students are frightened by the presence of veterans in their classrooms. Veterans usually have an overwhelming presence in the classroom, which can distract other students. This is usually true for vulnerable individual such as LGBTQQI2SAA, who have been known to be the butt of insensitive jokes made by veterans.

LGBTQQI2….what?! I mean seriously, they lost us at the second Q! No, I am not ignorant, I am not a veteran and yes I AM going to make fun of this abbreviation because truly, if a group wants to be taken seriously, how could they expect people to do so when they keep changing which gender identities and classifications they want to clump into one special interest group? Is it LGBTQI2ASAQ or IQLGBTQWRZYZ and a half? Did they include people who want to identify as potatoes only on Tuesdays? If not, let’s add a ‘P” to this and then if someone does not acknowledge that a normally “LGBTAAI2 whatever is a “P” for “potato” on Tuesday, they can sue the school! Okay. I had a “squirrel” moment. We move on to point #3:

Finally, veterans usually are associated with extremists right-wing groups such as the tea party and the NRA. In order to provide a safe place for all students, extremist right-wing groups must be suppressed on campus. This would include their followers: veterans.

The essay claims that veterans should not completely be denied an education after serving in the military but “in order to protect our academic institutions”, veterans should be allowed to “attend trade schools” or “possibly community college”.

Could this be a hoax? Possibly. At this rate, we put nothing past the looney tunes these days. Go send the potential doctor, the lawyer, the structural engineer, the pilot out to community college and trade school after they come home fighting for your country and right to call yourselves “LGBTQQI2whatever“. Because YOU are SO much more intelligent than any one who can camp out in the middle of a desert, eat MREs and get shot at for weeks on end. YOU are better than those peons. The truth is, most of these degree concentrations and professions require a bit of smarts and I really wonder how many “bigoted veterans” these Liberal Arts majors have come into contact with in their travels on campus.

Army? Navy? Air Force? Marines? The campus Nazis have spoken and they say “no university for you”! Unless, of course, you’re this guy-errr-gal:

Then, you get a full ride and quite possibly an honorary PhD.