It’s that time of year when the politically correct left, social justice warriors, and other liberal ilk decide to try to suck the fun out of Christmas movies. Yes, Christmas movies, which are meant to bring feelings of cheer and goodwill toward everyone – because nothing is sacred.
They already gave it a good shot with all the Rudolph hate early on in the season. But here are my top 5 Christmas movies, presented in no particular order, that liberals can complain about all day long… but will probably end up watching anyway.
1) A Christmas Story
“I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!”
Roughly an hour or so before 24 hours of this guy.#AChristmasStory #Ralphie pic.twitter.com/cdWSS6VYtR
— Damon Sayles (@DamonSayles) December 24, 2018
We don’t even have to start in on the objectification of women (the leg lamp), the abusive punishments (soap in the mouth), the bullying (the dare resulting in a tongue getting stuck to a frozen flag pole), or the alternative lifestyle furry-shaming (the pink bunny costume). The main character, Ralphie, WANTS A GUN. And by some stretch of modern classifications, an ASSAULT WEAPON.
The worst part? HIS FATHER GIVES HIM A GUN FOR CHRISTMAS.
How this classic survives being played for 24 hours straight on cable television every Christmas, I don’t know. Maybe this is the year that the SJW killjoys attempt to take the movie down via Twitter.
2) A Charlie Brown Christmas
While not technically a movie, this particular TV special always triggers someone when Linus actually recites verses from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 2.
Actual Scripture being recited on network television?? How insensitive to those who are not Christian! Well, since some on Twitter tried to target Charlie Brown already this year for racism, I’m sure religious exclusion can’t be that far behind.
3) Home Alone
This is a Child Protective Services nightmare. First, Kevin is left home alone. Cue the helicopter parents who are gasping in horror, and then they realize that Kevin is the youngest of FIVE children (cue the “don’t have that many kids if you can’t keep track of them” scolds). Second, when the police are notified, all they do is knock on the door and peek in a few windows before leaving. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Third, there’s an entire robbery spree happening in that neighborhood and no one notices except the kid? Well, it is Chicago, so… yeah. Everyone believes that part.
This would never fly today, as a mom who left her kids at home watching this movie by themselves was just arrested.
Also, the sequel is officially on the Resistance’s “do not watch list.”
I was today years old when I realized that Donald Trump was in Home Alone 2 pic.twitter.com/KAmTYuqtYR
— Lucy➳ (@Lucy_girl_38) December 23, 2018
4) While You Were Sleeping
Sandra Bullock’s Lucy has built up such a fantasy life around her dream guy that when she actually saves his life on Christmas Day, she gets accidentally pulled into the man’s real-life family when they think she’s his fiancee. So cute, right? Do you hear the screams of feminists everywhere who are yelling “YOU DON’T NEED A MAN TO GO TO ITALY OR FULFILL YOUR DREAMS” at their TV screens? Add in the creepy stalking-ish behaviors of the landlord’s adult son and you have all the makings of a #MeToo moment about to happen.
While you were sleeping just started on the Sony Movies channel pic.twitter.com/yTK7cPkG1s
— Kui (@KayYouEye) December 23, 2018
The Family Man with Nic Cage is the most underrated Christmas movie of all time. There I said it. pic.twitter.com/lhGtTAEFSc
— Phil Sanchez (@PhilSanchezTV) December 22, 2018
A twist on the “It’s A Wonderful Life” formula, Nicolas Cage’s Jack is given a glimpse of what his life might have been like when he does a good deed on Christmas Eve. He goes from Wall Street executive, living the dream in New York City with a penthouse apartment and money to burn, to New Jersey suburbia, with a wife and two children. And he learns to be happy about it. Fulfillment through marriage and family??? Cue the uncomfortable squirming. And when the alternate reality comes to an end, he actually tries to talk his ex-girlfriend (now living her dream as a well-paid lawyer about to move to France) into trying their relationship again. We don’t get an full answer to what they do next, but how DARE he barge into her life and try to “mansplain” her into his alternate reality!
I’m sure there are plenty more Christmas movies out there that are just full of offensive and triggering things. This is not a comprehensive list, and feel free to add to it in the comments. Remember to ask Santa for your air rifle this Christmas!
Featured image via Pixabay CC0 1.0 license, cropped
Wfjag says: Die Hard – It’s not Christmas until I see Holly McClane punch TV journalist, Richard Thornburg, in the nose.
GWB says: Actual Scripture being recited on network television?? How insensitive to those who are not Christian!
Well, if you don’t want to hear Christian Scripture, then don’t celebrate a Christian holiday!
“don’t have that many kids if you can’t keep track of them”
Well, that might actually be an issue. The parents in the movie were incompetent (it’s part of the plot, people – it sets up the conflict *smh*). But, that phrase applies equally well to someone with 12 kids as it does to someone with just one – it ain’t about numbers, really.
As to other “problematic” Christmas movies…..
I concur on Die Hard
Of course, It’s A Wonderful Life is problematic. Somebody did a whole write-up on that recently.
The whole Bing Crosby oeuvre: White Christmas, Holiday Inn, and Christmas In Connecticut (racist!)
And, A Christmas Carol – there’s no colored black people of color in that, at all! And let’s not get started on the misogyny and sexism, along with child labor issues. Bah, Humbug!
Y’all have a Merry Christmas, now!
Kim Hirsch says: The husband — a Bing Crosby fan — reminds me of “Holiday Inn,” in which Crosby appears in blackface in a minstrel show, employs a black maid named Mammy, and introduced that most racist of all Christmas standards: “White Christmas.” That film is enough to trigger the socially woke into the new year.
GWB says: Technically, the General employed the black maid. So, obviously, Mattis is a racist.
(This is so easy once you figure out the formula.)
rdpecon says: I watched Family Man again after reading this piece. I remembered it fondly. In retrospect it seemed somewhat disappointing. The moral of the story was that a family together in modest circumstances was better than being alone with unimaginable riches. That’s the lesson Nicholas Cage’s character, Jack, eventually learned.
But Jack gives up Téa Leoni for London, a sure sign he must be crazy. In the capstone scene of the movie Jack tells her all about their imaginary life together in the dreamlike sequence that constituted the bulk of the picture. Instead of running off to Paris as she planned to do, they get together as the snow falls and the credits flow.
OK but not in the league with A Christmas Story that details a real middle class family in the 1940s with much more humor and whimsy narrated by the incomparable Jean Sheppard.
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