Quit blaming the victim. How many times have we heard that mantra over the last few years? We’ve been told not to blame the victims. We’ve been told not to question a woman who accuses a man of sexual assault because she’d never lie about her victimhood. We are told, over and over again, that women are the victims of men. All women and all men. So why am I surprised to read this: “All woman [sic] live on a spectrum of misery because, we can only assume, we are women”?

Truth be told, I’m not surprised. What I am is tired of it. I’m tired of the narrative that all women are victims. I’m tired of the narrative that all men, except those who “embrace” their feminine side and condemn the masculine, are evil. The truth is there are victims on both sides of the equation and the sooner we recognize it, the better.

I know about misogyny, then – all women do. I know how it summons wreckage in women’s lives. I am poorer because I am a woman, I have lower status because I am a woman, and I am less confident because I am a woman. Although I am brave in print, in life I squeak like Minnie Mouse, and I wish I didn’t. I have had sexual experiences I did not want because I am a woman: and still, I know I’m lucky. I am a rich, white, western woman. Some people call it privilege. I call it the thick end of the wedge.”

Now, how many of us are surprised the article is written by a “rich, white, western woman”? The only thing that would have surprised me less is if a rich, white, western male had written it.

But let’s look at what the article’s author, Tanya Gold, is actually saying.

She knows about misogyny and all women do. Okay, I’ll give her that. I doubt there’s a woman around who hasn’t been hit on by a guy when she didn’t want to or been cat called or called a bitch. But does that really equate to misogyny or just men being clueless?

Miriam-Webster defines misogyny as “a hatred of women”. Psychology Today adds, “Misogyny is typically an unconscious hatred that men form early in life, often as a result of a trauma involving a female figure they trusted.” Hmm, not exactly what most feminists tell us misogyny is. A man persisting in trying to buy a woman a drink at a bar may be a boor and clueless, but it doesn’t make him a misogynist. A man commenting on how a woman looks, especially if he is paying her a compliment, isn’t necessarily a misogynist. You have to look at why he says or does something and that is exactly what the feminists don’t do.

In fact, they lump all men and all actions together under the flag of victimhood.

According to Gold, we live in a world that is a “self-perpetuating and all-consuming system of oppression and denial, in which women are an appendage to men, who have designed the world entirely for their own comfort and safety.”

Wow. Who knew we were so helpless, so unable to help ourselves? Who knew we were so brainwashed we can’t teach our children to be different from ourselves and their evil, misogynistic fathers? Who knew we had so little self-respect we allowed this travesty to continue, letting our daughters and granddaughters suffer as we have?

Did you know transportation systems were designed for men? According to Gold, they are. Why? Because the London metro is crowded and unsafe and have you tried taking a baby on it? Oh, and parks are designed for men too because they are unsafe for women and children.

And don’t get her, or Caroline Criado Perez whose book Invisible Woman: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men, started on the topic of women’s toilets.

Wow, talk about a collective group of pussies. Is it any wonder so many of our sisters in victimhood wear pussy hats?

Unfortunately, the media is eating this narrative up and perpetuating it. When you have outlets like The Atlantic declaring that the “new authoritarians” are waging war on women–and likening them to Trump–you know what the approved message is: men, especially conservative men, are bad.

This sort of coverage also points out the double-standard our husbands, sons and brothers have to live with. Trump engages in the same conduct JFK and so many other politicians have–and do–when and he is pilloried in the media. Yes, he’s crude and crass and, at times, an ass. But to condemn him for how he treats women and to ignore the actions of others points out our so-called impartial media is anything but.

How many headlines have we seen concerning Trump and Stormy Daniels? How many liberals have made his behavior a talking point, even using it as they ramp up for the 2020 elections? Yet, where is the media when it comes to the (I’ll be generous here) questionable touching by Joe Biden? While serving as vice-president, he invaded the personal space of women and children. He touched them in ways we tell our teachers not to. Yet, where is the media about it now, as he considers a run for president? I know where. They are adopting his response to a heckler and telling us “This is not Trump world.”

Going back to Gold’s article, one of the “facts” she points out to support her claim of the world being misogynistic is that women care more for children. No, I don’t think she means we love our children more than men do. Although, she might. What she is trying to get at, I believe, is that women tend to physically take care of children more than our male counterparts. Hmm, do you see the problem with that statement?

Feminists shout from the highest rooftop that a woman should be the only one with a voice in whether or not to carry a baby to term. The sperm donor, the father, doesn’t have a right to express an opinion. Heaven forbid he actually try to do anything to save the child. It doesn’t matter if he is willing to take on the child’s care.

So why are feminists now complaining about women having more of the responsibility of taking care of a child? Because they want their cake–control–without the responsibilities (children).

Gold goes on to say, “Every victory contains a defeat. Female soldiers are injured off the battlefield because they are forced to march in step with men.” Okay. How loudly would she yell if the military was segregated? And why isn’t she complaining about the men who are injured during training? Oh, wait, I know. Penis.

As I read Gold’s article, I found myself thanking my mother and her mother before her. They were and are strong women who weren’t afraid to go out and do whatever was necessary to improve their lives and the lives of their families. They refused to be victims like Gold and her ilk. If either of them met Gold and heard her say, “Although I am brave in print, in life I squeak like Minnie Mouse, and I wish I didn’t,” they’d shake their heads and tell her to grow a set. Playing the victim will not better your life. Just the opposite, in fact.

Women need to stop playing the victim card. The current feminist movement has set our cause back not just years but decades. Quit whining if a man had the audacity to tell you he likes your dress or that you look good. In most cases, he meant it as a compliment. Take it as one and go on.

Are there misogynists out there? Hell yes. But not nearly as many as the current crop of feminists would have us believe. It’s time for them to grow up and take responsibility for their own lives and actions. Maybe they ought to actually listen to the old Helen Reddy song “I am Woman” and study its lyrics and what they main.

Featured image: We Can Do It poster, DonkeyHotey. Creative Commons 2.0 license.