A week or so back, a story broke about Hasbro unveiling a new version of Monopoly, targeted at millennials. And it hasn’t been a “hashtag”-winner with the crowd. In fact, they “can’t even”!

And it seems even non-millennials are triggered by it which is completely rich (which is the ultimate goal of the original game, BTWs-to be a rich, real estate mogul). The ultimate goal of this game? “Experience Points” instead of cash. Players can gain points by “going to a 3-day music festival” or even a “yoga retreat”. The game box itself features Mr. Pennybags taking a selfie and wearing a participation ribbon. Sounds like the perfect gift for the skinny-jeans wearing soy-boy or crop-top donning, Starbucks-in-hand queen of the Instagram filter girl in your life, right?!

#NOPE.According to some millennials, this game is not so “lit”:

I swear millennial monopoly is the most condescending game ever created. We’re broke, it’s not our fault, leave us alone smh @Hasbro pic.twitter.com/5vdmRQJOOv

— Morgan (@morganlizzie95) November 14, 2018

Sniffle, sniffle. “We’re broke and it’s not our fault”. Ummmm…which model iPhone do you have in your mom jeans pocket again? Just checking, dear one…

Hasbro has defended and justified their reasons for their marketing:

With many of us being Millennials ourselves, we understand the seemingly endless struggles and silly generalizations that young Millennials can face (and we can’t even!), so we created the game to provide fans with a lighthearted experience that allows Millennials to take a break from real life and laugh at the relatable experiences and labels that can sometimes be placed on them.

But yet, millennials are unhinged and offended about this whole concept. They’ve neglected to notice that they have become caricatures of themselves.

A new board game from @Hasbro — Monopoly for Millennials. What do you think of it? #SocialSip

Here's more info: https://t.co/e6veqOFr1G

I think it's pretty offensive and uses stereotypes to make fun of millennials but I am a millennial so I'm probably too close to the issue. pic.twitter.com/0FIqmEEr4k

— Amanda Peterson (@_AmandaPeterson) November 14, 2018

I see a safe space with some stuffed animals to snuggle in her future. Leave it to a Seattle coffee-drinking, too much video-gaming hipster to sound off:

since there’s now Monopoly: Millennial edition can i make a Monopoly: Boomer Edition?

Instead of “Destinations” each space you buy will be ways to fuck over every generation after. The player with the most tortured souls wins

— Chris Hubbard (@chrisconsiders) November 15, 2018

He’s a perfectly-staged photo in a field of flowers and assigns himself his own pronoun(s). Gag me with a freaking crowbar.

And let’s leave it to Vox to sound off on this:

What is most frustrating about millennial Monopoly is not that it turns the economic realities — earning “experience points” is the game-equivalent of working for a company that offers unlimited free cereal but no benefits — into a smug punchline. Millennial angst is a great commodity. There is so much of it! It’s great to see that enterprising Hasbro is cashing in on this unlimited natural resource.

The problem is that the joke is not that good. The joke — millennials have no money and love toast and sharing bikes! — is a tired joke, a joke we have been telling, without addressing the grim reality behind the joke, for well over a decade now. It is not that millennials cannot take a joke. It is that, by now, millennials are entitled — get it? — to a better one.

But Millennials will continue to blame the rich, “Baby Boomers” for this apparent diss to their generation. You know, the generation who brought about Woodstock. (Music festival experience, anyone)? The ones who protested the Vietnam War. The ones who wanted to buy the world a Coke. The ones who are trying to speak now to Millennials on the platforms of free everything at the expense of taxpayers because they want to cash in on their votes. Of which generation do they think Hillary Clinton is aligned with? How’s about Elizabeth Warren? Barack Obama? Cecile Richards of Planned Parenthood fame? Anybody? I’ll make you some avocado toast if you can tell me, Millennials. I’ll even let you pair it with some organic, $6-a-bottle “cleansing” juice and stage it perfectly on a marble countertop as a “day-after Thanksgiving detox” Insta photo for your feed!

As a child of Baby Boomers, I am a proud Gen X-er. Not only because Gen-X was the name of Billy Idol’s band before he became a solo artist but because I am an old-school punk rock girl and the 80s were…well, awesome- but I’m a proud member of this generation because of the lessons my Baby Boomer parents taught me: hard work, consequences for my actions, loyalty, a bit of humility and that the government and the world as a whole does not owe us anything. Nada. In reality, we are the generation sandwiched between the Baby Boomers and you guys. We’ve had our labels, too. That we were “slackers” working minimum-wage jobs (Generations before us told us we needed to go out, get our degrees and have more work experience), we were cynics, we were jaded, we were unmotivated. And instead of whining on Social Media, we worked to prove these stereotypes wrong. We’ve had to work exponentially harder to get where we are at, often working multiple jobs in our 20s and into our 30s, living on 4 hours of sleep a night (on a good day) and we busted our humps for our first new car, our first home-both of which came YEARS after our 3-job juggling act. Did it suck? Yes, it did. Did we complain? Sure, we did. Did we take it to a public platform and make it everybody else’s problem? No. We sucked it up and we did what we had to do and actually learned about life in the process. We watch you guys snivel and whine demanding a $15-dollar minimum wage to work at McDonald’s when we made $3.25 an hour. We pick up the pieces for you after you go to your 3-day music festival “experiences” and come home sick, hungover and tired because you partied too much (read=unwise decisions) and can’t muster the energy to come to work (true story). We see your perfectly put-together outfits, jump shots of you and your besties at Coachella, your talk of #adulting (when your parents bankroll you), your “need” for a vacation to “decompress” (when you seem to go on a getaway every other week) and…I’m sure we’ll see this today…perfectly and artfully crafted holiday decor mixed in with Black Friday snapshots from Nordstrom. Why do we think you are a joke and what are we doing, you ask? We’re washing dishes from last night’s dinner. Our houses look like a tornado zipped through. We don’t have the energy to comb our hair, much less contour our faces and go out and brave that mob scene.

You wonder why you all have become a caricature? Look at your selfies and realize on some fundamental level that while you are yearning for attention and to be seen as a person of substance, the world sees you as a self-absorbed little brat. So much so, they created a game to depict it. You’re entitled to a better joke, you say? Dig deep, we say. Show some compassion and caring for someone/something other than yourselves and your tribe this holiday season. Show us some GRIT. And for God’s sake, stop being butt-hurt over everything. I’ll even leave you the rotary clue phone under your tree with your version of Monopoly, Millennials. In the meantime, do not pass go, do not collect $200 because-EEEK-CAPITALISM-and enjoy the Christmas (yes, I said CHRISTMAS, deal with it) season and #LiveYourBestLlife.

Photo Credit: The Daily Wire