I was visiting a local high school just the other day and could not help but wonder who put the “Safe All-Inclusive Space” door hangers all over the place. I had nightmares about those door hangers that subsequent evening…knowing that the attempt to “indoctrinate” my child into this new way of thinking will come sooner or later. I’d just as soon some aliens come down from Mars at this point.

Time Magazine back in November called the new “safe space” movement “The New Millennial Morality”. Some of our American Millennials have collectively formed a “moral” majority preventing theirs and their peers’ feelings from getting hurt (but mostly their own personal feelings because a great deal of them have not been taught to have compassion for others). Warning, if you possess any of these, you might be presenting a microaggression:

1. An American Flag.

2. Dreadlocks (if you’re a white guy.)
3. A Crayola “flesh”-colored crayon.
4. A Chick-Fil-A Sandwich.
5. A gender-specific pronoun that correctly matches your anatomy or the anatomy of the person you speak of.
6. A military, police officer or border patrol agent uniform.
7. CHALK! (Forget the pistols…perhaps we need to apply for background checks to possess a box? To think I need a concealed carry for my Sig!)
8. A Bible.
9. Anything that resembles a “corrupt decadent white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy-hetero-patriarchy” (yes, someone actually pulled that out from…wherever.)

What else presents microaggression, you ask? Raising your hand. Shaking your head. Possessing a certain facial expression to indicate that you may not agree with the mindless minions. We travel across the pond for this one. Entering right on cue is Imogen Wilson, vice president for academic affairs at Edinburgh University’s student association. Wilson received a “safe space complaint” and was threatened with removal from a student council session after she raised her hand in disagreement with a point being made at a discussion. Her disagreement was made in regard to a council resolution to boycott Israel. From The Student Association’s Safe Space Policy:

All members are expected to conduct themselves in a manner which is respectful and considerate of the contributions of others. This is defined as:
a. Allowing Council members to speak when called upon by the chair.
b. Refraining from speaking over, interrupting, heckling, laughing at or otherwise distracting from the speaker who holds the floor.
c. Refraining from hand gestures which denote disagreement or in any other way indicating disagreement with a point or points being made. Disagreements should only be evident through the normal course of debate.
d. Avoiding using gestures which are not generally known or accepted by Council.
e. Gestures indicating agreement are permissible, if these gestures are generally understood and not used in an intimidating manner.
f. Applause is acceptable when a motion is passed only, not if a motion fails to pass. Otherwise, agreement should be made clear within debate contributions.

The student council voted 33-18 and agreed to let Ms. Wilson stay at the meeting, but she received another slap on the wrist when she shook her head in disagreement with another student.

“I completely understand the importance of our safe space policy, and will defend it to the ground, but I did not think that was fair, and had it gone further I would have either left or argued against it.” –Imogen Wilson

Safe spaces now censor "inappropriate hand gestures" – my university is becoming pathetic. #EdUni #FreeSpeech pic.twitter.com/XkT5s62Cpk

— Charlie Peters (@CDP1882) March 31, 2016

That all-inclusive, anti-bullying hogwash? Yeah, well it only exists if you happen to agree with the new millennial “morality”. If you don’t, then you’re violating the “safe space” for intellectual and respectful discourse. You see? Your opinions matter as long as you agree. Something stinks in here. I can shake my head and make some really creative hand gestures right about now but I might be called out by “moral” superiors! Feel free to raise your hand and add to the above list. (You’re safe here!)