The word for today is Petulantly. John Pavlovitz had a lovely little post that is kind of relevant here. I wonder if it would hurt him in the feels when I say that I truly find him pretentious and petulant. And since there are apologies referenced in this post, here is my apology. I am very sorry to my fellow Victory Girls for inflicting his derpery upon you. Yes, all snark is intentional. To Reverend Pavlovitz: you do not see yourself as others do, so hopefully you will read and, um, not be petulant and hateful but open to learning. Diversity is more than color or gender. It is thoughts and beliefs. And disagreeing while being civil. And being inclusive. Something we can all do better at. I know I can.

So the good reverend decided everyone who voted for Trump MUST apologize to his children. And for what? Well, I did not vote for Trump, but this sure is not going to change the hearts and minds of my family and friends who did vote for Trump. Petulant, ironically, is the best way to describe the rant. So here are his reasons and my responses:

You owe them an apology for making them grow up with a hateful, incompetent, petulant, predatory monster as their President.

It seems that you need to apologize to your kiddos for your party backing a terrible candidate in 2016. Otherwise, you look like a hateful jerk speaking petulantly. Sadly, you have valid points, but they are utterly lost in the venom and rage. And that is unfortunate.

For making them do “shooter drills” at school, because you’ve sanctioned a man who is fully in bed with the NRA, who removes barriers to mentally ill people getting guns, and who does nothing to prevent military weapon proliferation.

The term is lockdown or shelter in place and these started in 1999. Guess who was president back then? Hint: William Jefferson Clinton was until Jan 20, 2001. Now here is some history and a suggestion for a better way to handle active shooters. If you care about your kids, Reverend, you will surely present the ALICE model to their school administrators. Unless Mr. Pavlovitz does not love his children, too. And then he continues to, frankly, whine petulantly and lose any hope of his message being heard by anyone who is not his fellow traveler.

For the terrifying images of a crowd of emboldened, violent, torch wielding Nazis terrorizing a town—and of a President who coddled them afterward.

I hope that Reverend Palvovitz had just as much to say about “Antifa”? Antifa were as bad as the Citronella Nazis. So were their communist idols. But apparently bad stops at party lines? And it should not.

You’ve let my children down by thrusting them into an America that is far less secure, less compassionate, less decent, more fractured, and more violent than it was a year ago—and because that truth alters children immersed in it.

And life all too often sucks. How you respond is the important part. Part of parenting is raising resilient kids, right?

But lest you think this is just about me, about my family, about my children—be assured it is not.

Yes, you’ve surely failed my children with your vote, and more so with the way you’ve doubled down on the toxicity released over the past year—but you don’t owe an apology to them alone.

Somehow, I do not think the toxicity came from just one side. So when will you apologize for your side’s behavior, as well? Because your side failed the children of the world. And what tools do you have for parents to raise their kids?

You owe an apology to every child who has to spend their formative years in an America that is defined by:
fear of the other,
an epidemic of cruelty,
a poverty of decency,
a deadly allergy to facts,
a Christianity of coercion and malice,
a defiant resistance to diversity.

Again, the road to Trump was paved by Democrats AND Republicans. A question: What does the Reverend offer to counter these terrible things he lists? Does he want to include all points of view? Allow diverse people to sit at the table? And you are awfulizing a vote and pushing people further to the Trump camp.

I’m well aware of what your likely response to all this will be. I don’t imagine an apology will be forthcoming—so I’ll apologize to them on your behalf.

Then, I’ll spend every day living that apology.

I’ll remind my children your children and all children, that there are lots of adults who still believe that people are inherently valuable and stunningly beautiful—that not all adults fear brown people and gay people and foreigners and immigrants.

Painting Trump voters with a broad brush is really a bad idea. Most of them are not being racist slimeballs. Have you talked to them, not at them?

I’ll remind them that there are still people committed to the truth and to equality, and the richness found in diversity.

But will throw passive aggressive shade towards anyone who does not agree with you like a toddler, or a Trump Tweet? Acting petulantly is not going to help.

I’ll do my best to make them feel safe and loved and hopeful here, even on the days that I don’t.

Unless they even THINK of voting Republican, right?

I’ll even teach them to forgive people who fail and hurt them, because I know how difficult that it is right now.

And I’ll remind them that even when bad people are rewarded, doing the right thing is still the thing most worth doing.

The right thing is what? Does it mean teaching that character does not stop at political party lines? I hope so.

I’ll teach them that when hatred seems the most treasured currency, that love is still worth more than gold.

I’m just sorry that they have to live with something (and someone) far less than they deserve—and they didn’t have to.

I am heartbroken for Reverend Pavlovitz. By being the resistance, he is the very thing he accuses Trump followers of being. Non inclusive. Non diverse. And speaking petulantly and hatefully. So here is a teaching moment. This is how change happens. It starts with a civil conversation.

One day I walked into work and used a phrase my mom used to use: “Good morning sunshine.” My coworker was horrified and she quickly, politely informed me what the phrase meant to someone who is black. Change happened because people talked and listened. And agreed to respect each other. This is how you present your opinion and start change. You do not change hearts and minds by being a jackass. Your post will only deepen the divide. I am kind of disappointed that this is talk without action, Reverend.

I welcome you to say what you believe needs to be said in response, knowing that ultimately the truth is somewhere in the middle

The irony is, living this way might have made people like me listen. And would help him reach out to the lost and hurting. Even—gasp—Trump voters. Which is what the Great Commission demands, Reverend. See, not everything is political. Some things are just being people. And diversity means diverse opinions and lifestyles and religions. And Mr., I welcome you to say what you believe, but I want to challenge you: talk to a Trump fan and listen. Ask him or her why they like Trump, and listen. Be the better man. See, diversity without inclusion is not workable. The Red Shoe Movement has this to say:

The phrase cultural diversity can also refer to having different cultures respect each other’s differences.

This is written for employers to be diverse and inclusive, and, ironically, this applies to the blog post referenced.

We believe that as part of trying to answer what is cultural diversity, one should look at the meaning of “diversity.” The word “diversity” has replaced “minority” and it’s often used interchangeably with “multicultural” when referring to people of different race, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation. When you look at the wider interpretation of the word, “diversity” also refers to different types of thinking, world views, ways to look at a problem and find solutions, skill set, education, geographic upbringing, religion, and so on.

This works for churches, schools and even families. And allows people to learn and even change their minds and their opinions. But that means having difficult conversations. And dealing with people who do not walk away with the same opinion you do. So, Reverend, do you want to try and reach the non Trump voters who are not awfulizing? Or do you want to be angry and react petulantly and kind of whiny? Because there are a lot of people who would love a true middle way. If you want one, stop the hyperbole and let’s talk solutions. We at Victory Girls are waiting. We may even have cocoa and coffee. Because we all have to live here. Acting petulantly is not being a good neighbor or a good religious leader.