I’ve spent some days mulling over the Rachel Hollis controversy as of late. For those of you who don’t know who Rachel Hollis is, she is the author of the “Girl” books. Girl, Wash Your Face. Girl, Stop Apologizing.

Mommy bloggers love her. And she’s made bank on this motivational gobbledegook. From her books to Multi-Level Marketing “Leadership” Conferences that promise to change your world. She’s created an empire she’s quite impressed with. So much so, she’s tattooed the word “mogul” on her wrist.

Hollis is also a self-professed Christian. Her dad pastored a small Pentecostal church. She loves Jesus but she drinks a little, cusses a little, so she’s relatable, right?

So relatable, she’s appeared on many a tv talk show. so relatable until she described her housekeeper as “someone who cleans her toilets”. After this, she was no longer relatable. Hollis was then labeled as “privileged AF”.

First off, who describes their housekeeper as “someone who cleans the toilets?” I will tell you who. A vain, narcissistic, tone deaf, basic Instagram b#tch (I still love you, Jesus) who may have been brought up in the faith but has lost her way.

Now, I’m not agreeing with the looney lefties who are saying she is part of the lipstick patriarchy and privilege. I, too, have a cleaning service that comes once every two weeks. My husband and I both work hard. Is it a privilege? Maybe. But I would never refer to the women that come over as “those who clean my toilets”. My dear friend also grew up in a Pentecostal family and her dad pastored a small church. They were dirt poor and I have never heard her refer to anyone as “a person who cleans the toilets”.

So, sorry, not sorry for not entertaining the white privilege angle here because quite honestly, it’s tiresome. And we all know that everybody who is white suffers from privilege according to our token woke, social justice warriors. But Hollis writing a book encouraging women to stop apologizing but then apologizing after she loses Instagram followers is damn hysterical. The backlash was real.

Girl, shut up. Girl, get over yourself. Seriously. Girl, you’re obnoxious.

I am agreeing with the critics over her loosely-based Christianity. This Christianity where Jesus’ name is thrown in, between Instagram feeds and flexing trips to exotic destinations, the latest pair of designer shoes and self-motivational psychobabble. It’s all pretty, with color-coordinated filters. These beautiful, Christian women are #livingtheirbestlives with not a Balayaged hair out of place..like, ever.

“You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are. You are meant to be the hero of your own story.”-Rachel Hollis

In Hollis’ world, it is all about her. God didn’t know you before you were formed in the womb in the book according to “Rach”. Jesus does not know your story because YOU create that destiny, YOU control it, girl (snapping fingers here). YOU are your first priority.

That’s why Rachel Hollis wants YOU to spend anywhere from $300 to $1800 on a must-do mountaintop experience with the guru and other guests on how to live for YOU and only YOU. Too expensive? Well, Rach works her patootie off and face it, someone’s got to pay for the Louis Vuitton luggage, the nicer seat on the airplane and much-needed vacations after the grueling conference circuit. Let’s not forget the person who “cleans her toilets”. Think of all you will get out of this experience. You’ll buy some more books and trinkets from her Merch store at conference and, after 24 hours, BOOM-you will know how to do life better.

Don’t bother looking to the Bible as a compass for any of this. It is clear Hollis hasn’t cracked it open in a bit.

There seems to be this current that is taking women of all ages by storm. These larger-than-life, “inspirational” personalities who really just love being on stage and all of the adulation that comes with it. They are completely content with taking your money that you work your ass off for, ladies. You see them on social media, and they seem to have it all together. The awesome job, the perfect kids, the magazine-worthy home, the designer duds, the sparkling smiles, the perfect, tiny bodies and the jet-setter life. You, too, can have ALL of this. Don’t miss out. The FOMO is real, girrrrrl.

This is where I snuggle into the mic and talk to the ladies here…young, middle-aged like me, and some older. Don’t fall for this. It is a trap.

You will forever be comparing yourself to the likes of these women. You will feel like an utter failure. You will feel defeated. But fear not-because it is all fake. All of it. If you are jaded about this, other women who have bought into this form of brainwashing will say you’re “offended” and “bitter”. How do I know this? I have been there. I couldn’t not roll my eyes any longer. I’ve unfollowed and extracted myself from situations and I’ve been called bitter on more than one occasion because I could not stand the showy personalities and the theater. And it is theater. I did drama in high school and I plan to leave the theatrics there. There are too many of these motivational mamas who fall under the umbrella of “Christian” and are just plain old mean girls. There is no character or charity in this illusion of living your best life and charging those who want this crazy amounts of money to attend a “conference”.

Girl, We’re too old for this BS.

We venture back to my friend who grew up in a similar family environment to one Rachel Hollis. She does ministry quietly. She is giving and kind, even though she may not have much to give. And while she would NEVER refer to someone who is a housekeeper by trade as “someone who cleans the toilets”, she would also want to know her name and she would invite her to Bible study. We can chalk it all up to parental upbringing. Some pastors’ kids who were raised in the church were raised to love their neighbors. Some, like Rachel Hollis, were raised to be “leaders” who are the untouchable elite, God’s chosen ones, who need a special production every time they walk into a room and preach the prosperity doctrine. They are insufferable to say the least. They will teach their kids to be the same way and that is sad. And Rachel Hollis? I’m sorry, but anyone who refers to herself as “mogul” and tattoos it on her wrist and anyone who refers to her housekeeper the way she did is simply NOT a nice person of principle, not worthy a follow and certainly not worthy of dropping $1800 on to have a “VIP” experience with.

Want a VIP experience? Spend time alone with God. Read His promises. Experience your family. Experience raw, true, authentic friendship and the gifts you have been given on this earth. Know from Whom they came from. Hit the unfollow button on the ones that get on your last nerve. Go for that run, dance, wash your face when you please (or leave the eyeliner on after a rough day) and apologize when you need to. You don’t need a woman like Rachel Hollis telling when you should or shouldn’t.

And Mamas, take the time for self-care. The Lord knows, after months of lockdowns and homeschooling while hustling at the day job, some of us need that pedi/mani more than others. But when it comes to attending the next Rachel Hollis experience? You’d be better off flushing that paper down the toilet. Girl, Save Your Money!

Photo Credit: Marco Verch Professional/FlickR/CC BY 2.0/Creative Commons/Cropped