There is absolutely nothing wrong with Joe Biden. That is, there is nothing wrong that updated sunglasses and a few Botox injections wouldn’t fix. In other words, Joe needs a makeover. Or. as the kids say today, a GLOW-UP. No dementia, no memory lapses. Maybe just a spiffy, new leather jacket and a boss haircut.

Ever since the Hur Report came out, even Hillary Clinton is saying that Biden’s age is a problem. Everyone except the Regime’s Praetorian Guard, who just want us to move along:

Put all of that out of your mind, you silly policy wonk. The Border…bah. Inflationary policies…pfft. Moving Mexico to South of Gaza…puh-leeze. Joe really needs a makeover/glow-up:

A glo-up can cover a lot of things and is a new take on the phrase “grow up.” Colloquially, it stands for a timely and personal transformation and largely attests to changes in one’s physical appearance or style. Recently, the term has gone on to cover increased self-confidence and a positive change in one’s lifestyle.

The New York Post published an article with advice from a New York- and Los-Angeles-based stylist and beauty adviser. Sit down before you read this 21st Century silliness:

As frantic Democrats continue to flood the White House with advice on how to make Biden look more youthful – with some pushing for better make-up and cheap lighting tricks – Sara Alviti, a New York- and Los-Angeles-based stylist and beauty consultant, believes she has the solution.

She offered tips Saturday on how the 81-year-old commander-in-chief can at least spruce up his style, including:

*Switching to slimmer-cut trousers and blazers with a wide label, and trying “fun ties” that create “pocket square combinations.”
*Occasionally sporting jeans, Brunello Cucinelli baseball caps that fetch for $950 and edgy leather jackets.
*Showing up at events in stylish sneakers from Tom Ford or Zegna that run up to $990 and $1,390, respectively.
*Dropping the Ray-Ban Aviators he’s said he’s worn since his teenage years and slapping on a pair of “better sunglasses,” by Persol instead.

A Bruno Cucinelli baseball cap will ensure that the world forgets about that reprehensibly disastrous Afghanistan withdrawal, the flag draped coffins and dignified transfer of remains solemn movement with Biden looking at his watch.

Remember when Biden kept checking his watch when 13 came home. We remember. pic.twitter.com/sFZyyhxcph

— Nunya Bidness (@psycho_ward4U) February 2, 2024

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Alviti – whose past Hollywood clients include Adrian Grenier, Barbra Streisand and Catherine O’Hara – also believes Biden can look more youthful by using retinol and Vitamin C serums, CBD oil cream and peptide creams that “can help reduce sun damage and fine lines.”

She also urged he invest in regular facials and a “cooler haircut — shorter, sexier.”

I recommend retinol and Vitamin C serums to all my friends, young and old. They help with wrinkles and really keep your skin clear. When you have spent a career trashing people (Justice Clarence Thomas) and selling out your country, they won’t make bit of difference.

Also, I think Joe has had enough “work” done. You just have to watch the video for a few seconds to watch those balls in his chin bouncing around.

I am a firm glow-up believer. Hair dye, Botox (oh, yes) judiciously, and a good facial peel occasionally will keep you looking fresh and healthy. When your morals have rotted through and your soul was sold decades ago, you are beyond help. Don’t even get me started on Doctor Jill. We could be here for a while.

Featured Composite: The White House/Facebook/cropped/Public Domain/Thamires Vieira/flickr.com/cropped/Creative Commons