What type of decorations might you usually see around Halloween? Skeletons, spiderwebs, gravestones, dismembered hands… things like this are common, as is a decoration that is now being called a “hate crime”.

Kelly Lynch says she is a witch, and therefore, her neighbor’s Halloween decoration of a hanging witch is a hate crime — just like burning crosses or hanging nooses in a black family’s yard would be.

Sigh:

Driving down East Street in Chicopee it’s hard not to notice a witch hanging from a noose. To many, it’s an innocent Halloween decoration, but for Kelly Lynch it’s offensive.

“We don’t harm anyone, we worship god, we are not evil, and we don’t cast spells, ” says Lynch.

Lynch is a witch. She has been studying witchcraft since she was a child, and says it’s her way of life.

“We are just like Christians, Muslims, we have our own religion, ” adds Lynch.

That’s why when she saw the life-like witch hanging in someones front yard she went straight to the home owner’s door.

“He told me to lighten up, it was a Halloween decoration, I know it’s his constitutional right, but I want it down. To make that your only decoration…it’s kind of odd, ” stresses Lynch.

But the owner will do no such thing. His neighbor says he has every intention of keeping it up.

“There’s no way it’s coming down. I think it’s funny people are getting so upset, it’s only a decoration, ” says neighbor, Kevin Belder.

But Lynch says it’s no laughing matter. She says it’s a hate crime against her religion

“Look at Louisiana, it’s the same thing, what if a black family burned crosses, or nooses it would be the same thing, ” says Lynch.

And if the owner still doesn’t take the Witch down from its noose by Halloween, Lynch plans to protest outside his home.

She says it’s not only a hate crime against her religion, but offensive to the entire community.

“It’s depicting death. I wouldn’t destroy a cross or bash a religion or race,so I don’t expect that to happen to me, ” adds Lynch.

I have to say, Lynch made lots of fun statements in this, so let’s take them on one by one, shall we?

In my opinion, this right here is the money quote:

I know it’s his constitutional right, but I want it down.

Doesn’t that just sum up the “I’m offended, therefore I am” crowd perfectly? This woman doesn’t care that it’s a Halloween decoration up temporarily, not something he has hanging all year round. She doesn’t care that it is, indeed, his right to put up whatever he wants. She doesn’t care that it’s on his own private property. The only thing she cares about is that she is offended, damn it, so he must pay, the insensitive asshole.

Here’s another funny little nugget:

But Lynch says it’s no laughing matter. She says it’s a hate crime against her religion.

“Look at Louisiana, it’s the same thing, what if a black family burned crosses, or nooses it would be the same thing, ” says Lynch.

And if the owner still doesn’t take the Witch down from its noose by Halloween, Lynch plans to protest outside his home.

She says it’s not only a hate crime against her religion, but offensive to the entire community.

Yes, a Halloween decoration that a “witch” is offended by is surely offensive not only to her, but to the entire community. I bet people drive by his house all the time shaking their heads, thinking, “That is so cruel to the witches of Chicopee.” And I especially love how she equates a Halloween decoration to real hate crimes! Yes, a Halloween decoration of a hanging witch, that you can probably buy for less than $20 at any Wal-Mart in the country, is the same thing as the KKK burning crosses into a black family’s yard.

There is just too much hate in this country, people! This woman is offended, and her feelings are hurt, so we need to all bend over backwards to make sure she is appeased!

Telling her to grow up and get over herself is, of course, not an option. Not at all.

Now, let me point something out. Let’s pretend this is a different scenario. Let’s say it’s April, Lynch has just moved into the neighborhood and introduces herself to her neighbor. She tells said neighbor that she has been practicing witchcraft since she was a child. Neighbor gets angry and the next day, Lynch sees a hanging witch in her front yard.

That I could understand. But come on… it’s a freaking Halloween decoration! She’s going to protest in this guy’s yard over a Halloween decoration?! And of course, we all have to agree with her. If anyone, ever, is offended then there must be repercussions for us insensitive jerks who don’t care.

By the way, this is the decoration that Lynch is hyperventilating over:

It’s so true to life, no wonder she’s offended!

All sarcasm aside — how long are we going to tolerate the “I’m offended, therefore I am” crowd? How long before we’re only allowed to say or do certain things so that no one will be “offended”? I mean, take Lynch. How long before only certain Halloween decorations are approved for our use, all in the name of making sure that she doesn’t get her pwecious wittle feewings hurt? The rights of her neighbor mean absolutely nothing to her.

Sound scary yet? 1984, here we come.

Hat Tip: Moonbattery