Hello Freshmen Congress! We are so ready to watch you stumble, bumble, and ramble your way through the next two years. I’m especially excited to watch the #ZombieSquad of  Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York. The Freshperson ensemble can share stories of  abolishing ICE, Free Stuff for All, and how they get ‘the Government’ to pay for it!

Social Media Savvy Socialists

Their hashtopia of social media smiles will include Instagram posts about house hunting. I see a ready made two bedroom with some sweet thrift store finds to give it a ‘lived in’ feeling. The socials (aka their millennial fans) will eat up every photo of avocado toast at the rooftop brunch, while the Fiscally Fibbing Freshman Friends discuss pressing social justice and economic reform issues. They should probably include a field trip to the impoverished neighborhoods east of the Anacostia River for a hashtag moment. Don’t forget to write off the Uber fare as a work expense. After returning to DC, “the good part”, they can figure out how to get other people to pay for their rent. Oh, yeah they just did that.

Fiscally Fibbing Sing Along

As a taxpayer, I’m starting to appreciate the character “Maui” from the animated film “Moana.” I was going to save you from the endless loop in your head. But in reality, it’s how the taxpaying citizens will be seen over the next two years. “You’re Welcome!”

Late Night Study Sessions

This group of Freshmehhh…er Freshpeople Congresswomen has some long nights ahead if they are going to figure out a way to pay for their social programs. I know that the Economics degreed “Occasional-Cortex” must have actually taken an economics class to have graduated. But with tweets like these, I do wonder.

https://twitter.com/Ocasio2018/status/1062475253698445312

90’s Mix In The Dorms! Ice, Ice Baby!

Aside from economics sessions and hair braiding, what will the Fiscally Fibbing Freshman Friends talk about? Abolishing Ice is a bridge builder.  Ilhan Omar has solid advice about skirting accusations of immigration fraud. Huh!? Multiple times it has been suggested that she married her “brother.” This may be just a case of mistaken identity, but PJ Media managed to do some digging beyond what her Minnesota campaign released as a response in 2016. Her answer left the Republican candidate Abdimalik Askar asking some questions on Fox9.

“We all know what has been alleged about Omar illegally marrying her brother to commit immigration fraud. It is a serious accusation and would certainly disqualify her from representing district 60B if true.”
“I’m obviously very much in favor of a Somali being elected in 60B, and my questions about this situation are like everyone’s. The constituents that Omar wishes to represent, myself included, would simply like a clear non-political answer about the allegations. If she can’t provide that, what kind of representative is she going to be?”

~ Abdimalik Askar on Fox9 August 18, 2016

One Law For Thee, No Law For Me

“In 2002, when I was 19 years old, Ahmed Hirsi (whose name before he received citizenship was Ahmed Aden), the father of my children and love of my life, and I, applied for a marriage license, but we never finalized the application and thus were never legally married. In 2008, we decided to end our relationship in our faith tradition after reaching an impasse in our life together.”

~Democratic candidate Ilhan Omar statement  Fox9 August 18, 2016

Is it any wonder that this Congresswoman wants to abolish Immigration and Customs Enforcement? She is accused of abusing immigration policy. It’s a given that she will continue to perpetuate the Liberal inaccurate view of our immigration system. It’s also a given that she will continue to benefit from a system that is so repressive (so not repressive) it afforded her an opportunity to become one of its leaders. Hmmm.

REFORM OUR INHUMANE IMMIGRATION SYSTEM

• Abolish ICE, and end all inhumane deportation and detention programs
• Prosecute federal officials who have been accused of physical and sexual assault of people in their detention
• Oppose all efforts to further militarize our border and any attempt to expand the border wall along the southern border
• Protect Sanctuary Cities and Counties by preventing Trump’s administration from withholding federal funding
• Fight back against the criminalization of immigration and crossing the border
• ~ Ilhan Omar campaign website November 14, 2018

Thank you to all the young students from Ann Sullivan School who wrote me letters asking me to stand up for immigrants and refugees like their families.

I can’t wait to fight for all of you. pic.twitter.com/D5ngG7F29I

— Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN) November 14, 2018

Will They Stay?

We can hope that the voters in their districts come to their senses. But other “entertaining” politicians come to mind, and they are still in office. Will we be talking about the Fiscally Fibbing Friends in 20 years? Will they become obvious puns to their own antics? Does Maxine Waters have a history of abuse of power for personal gain? (the answer is rhetorical, but “yes!”) Does a blinged out Cowboy hat make you think of a certain Florida Congresswoman (hint:Frederica Smith Wilson)? It doesn’t take a rampage on ICE or a questionable degree in Economics to know that these Fiscally Fibbing Freshman Friends have odds in their favor. Thankfully, we have the ink to cover it.

Featured Image//  The New Yorker Magazine