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Welcome to DC Middle School, where the reigning power cliques can’t sit in the same classroom without launching spitballs and giving side eye. Not to mention tweets and media slams. Trump called Pelosi a mean name, and she stormed out of the meeting, followed by her BFF’s. Then both sides shared gossip and innuendo with the student population in a desperate bid to win today’s popularity contest.
When my husband was completing his second graduate program, his discussion group was framing rules of their debate. A Senior Executive Service student asked the group if they wanted a “safe word.” As you can imagine, the room full of senior military officers made eye contact with their peers, smothered more than a few smiles, and suggested “uh, how about we just say ‘Stop’?”.
I don’t know if Trump and Pelosi need a safe word, or a room full of military officers, but they must figure out a way to behave like professionals and complete their projects. Nobody expects either of them to hide their personal brands of crazy, or finish a meeting with a choreographed dance off. But we do expect them to put aside their petty differences and work for the business of the country.
Instead, we have the leaders of the Executive and Legislative branches in a Twitter battle. The most powerful nation in the history of the world is being run by people who count social media as a means of appropriate communication. They are trolling each other on line.
People, we can’t make this up. I wish it was “the Simpsons” or something on “Adult Swim.” But no. My beloved country is on auto-pilot while 2/3 of the crew is throwing food across the galley. Wrestling over whom can best frame “THE” photo. Meanwhile FLOTUS continues her work on internet bullying. Lord, I wish Hollywood wrote this, it is the finest parody.
Do you think they like me? pic.twitter.com/TDmUnJ8HtF
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 16, 2019
The “Teacher’s Lounge.” A room of mystery where the adult’s escape from kids, and barricade the entry door. I’m fairly certain this is where we will find SCOTUS. Sneaking a few smokes out the window, and looting the bake sale leftovers. I’d like to move the entire country in there. Then at least we wouldn’t bear witness to Chuck Schumer wailing that his BFF Pelosi had to bear the indignity of Trump’s insult.
“He was insulting, particularly to the speaker. She kept her cool completely. But he called her a third rate politician. He said that there are communists involved and you guys might like that. This was not a dialogue. It was sort of a diatribe, a nasty diatribe not focused on the facts, particularly the fact of how to curtail ISIS, a terrorist organization that aims to hurt the United States,”
Oh, you guys went to meet about ISIS? Let me get this straight… you state ISIS is an organization that aims to hurt the US, but you got your panties in a twist and left the meeting. So, either ISIS isn’t a serious threat and can be off the main burner, or despite the huge threat – you left because Trump was meanie boo beanie. Hey Nancy, tell your BFF that you both get an F. As in you Failed. You think you are hardcore negotiators and can take on hard challenges, but then bail when your political hackery is called anything less than top notch.
Oh. My. God. I’m trapped in a freaking Taylor Swift song about mean people. Nothing accomplished, but lot’s of useless fluff to fawn over. And fawn they are…. The fans of Pelosi are in full force. Lawrence O’Donnell on MSNBC,
“Fifty years from now, schoolchildren studying American history will come upon this photograph, and they will instantly know who was in charge in that room – the adult standing and pointing at that pained face across the table.”
Nervous Nancy's unhinged meltdown! pic.twitter.com/RDeUI7sfe7
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 16, 2019
No Larry, fifty years from now school kids will be wondering why these infants in office were ineffective in accomplishing anything of substance. Meanwhile, their parents wondering if they should support their aged parents (that’s US Larry!!) or send them off to the Soylent Green funeral home. Larry, don’t ascribe finger pointing to effective leadership. My 12 year old does it to her brother. He smacks it away, and they brawl until an adult intercedes. Not so different from this meeting. Except I wasn’t there threatening to beat them over the head with my chancala!
I think the best resolution for this standoff is a fight in the Pentagon gym after 4th period. Tickets and Pay Per View will net a tidy sum. Chuck Schumer can be the “ring girl.” AOC will sit front and center with her VSCO girl squad, sipping from their metal straws and passing out hair scrunches to the gender unidentified group in the second row. When Chuck walks by carrying his recycled paper placard they will call out “Sksksksksksk! Save the Turtles!!!” before admiring their Hydroflasks.
Pelosi’s BFF 2.0 is leading the Civics club, and reminding all members about the importance of his BFF Pelosi. Co-Equal branches of government, gosh darn it! One problem Steny…. Your BFF is Speaker of the House. She isn’t the entire House of Representatives. In fact, she speaks for the majority, not the entirety. So SHE isn’t co-equal to anything. Perhaps you should schedule some time with the Civics club adviser and review the Constitution. But, good on you for trying. Solid C- there buddy.
“You’re gonna hear the president say we walked out. We were offended, deeply, by his treatment of the speaker. I have served with six presidents, never have I seen a president treat so disrespectfully a coequal branch,”
If Steny leaves Civics club, he can mosey on over and join Nancy in her after school prayer club. They set out collection tins for orphans. And after reallocating some funds to Planned Parenthood, 1/100th of every dollar is sent to help the children. She leads her prayer group with the same sincerity. Especially when praying for her frienenemies.
“I pray for the president all the time, and I tell him that — I pray for his safety and that of his family. Now, we have to pray for his health — because this was a very serious meltdown on the part of the president,”
As a resident of Metro DC, I look forward to the summer. Congress goes back to their home districts, kids are out of school, and there’s reduced traffic. This year, I will embrace summer with unbridled enthusiasm. Because I’d rather listen to the incessant whining, fighting, and wailing of my threenagers, than entertain one more second of this DC Middle School drama.
Featured Image: Flicker Photo Credit: ThoseGuys License: CC2.0 Image Cropped: 400×400
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Debi Day yup, your mom's friend says: “I have served with six presidents…” Oh. My. Goodness. Using my fingers (Neanderthal Trump voter that I am) and trusting that this mental midget can actually count properly himself, he has been “serving” us up his slime stew since good old boy Jimmy was beating that scary bunny to a pulp, Al Gore had yet to invent the internet and all the talk was about global cooling. I think that was about the time Pelosi had her first face lift too. Considering this is not how the founders expected political service to play out, we have been damned lucky to have preserved our dwindling freedom for a paltry 200+ years. These people view any political opponent as below their notice, except to sneer and point. But they have found in Trump a problematic new guy. Someone new who came to school during the last term and is ready to call them out after surprisingly being elected prom king. Oh, and the rest of us peons? Beyond notice. We are relegated to the sandbox corner of the schoolyard. Thank-you for an excellent and amusing post. Glad I found you!
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