A new study claims that “global warming will trigger more crimes including murders and rapes over the next century, with social costs estimated to run as high as $115 billion.”  It’s the perfect storm for liberals, who rant about rape culture and patriarchal societies and how we should teach men not to rape because apparently in the liberal feminist world, all men are rapists by default and you have to actually train them not to rape women.  Except…climate change is also so near and dear to the Left’s heart.  Liberal heads are exploding somewhere as they attempt to simultaneously offer credence to the climate change study—which offers credence to their global warming bunk—and still harp on their supposed rape culture, which allows them to keep preaching the eeeevils of anyone who’s male.  Maybe climate change causes rape culture.  Wait, that can’t be, because rape culture is supposedly caused by society.  Maybe rape culture causes global warming?

Between 2010 and 2099, climate change can be expected to cause an additional 22,000 murders, 180,000 cases of rape, 1.2 million aggravated assaults, 2.3 million simple assaults, 260,000 robberies, 1.3 million burglaries, 2.2 million cases of larceny and 580,000 cases of vehicle theft, the study published this week in the Journal of Environmental Economics and Management says.

Before you grab some popcorn and watch the head-popping carnage as the troglodytes stumble around, however, take another look.

“To put these numbers in perspective,” the study says, “recent research suggests that a 1% increase in the size of a city’s police force results in an approximate 0.3% decrease in violent crimes, and a 0.2% decrease in property crimes, with some variation across types of offenses.”

Therefore, it adds, “an immediate and permanent 4% increase in the size of the U.S. police force would be required to offset the aggregate climate-related increases in murder, manslaughter, robbery, burglary and vehicle theft likely to occur over the next century.”

See what just happened?  You just had an entire load of manure offered to you, with the end result being “You need more police.”  More control, more militarized cops, more infringement on your privacy.  You wouldn’t want to get raped or anything by those patriarchal men in a heat wave of climate change, would you?  Just trust the federal government.  We will protect you.

Where did they get these fantastic predictions about upcoming rape and murder epidemics under the burning sun?

The study merged monthly reports on criminal activity from the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting files with temperature and precipitation records for 2997 counties from the U.S. National Climatic Data Center’s Global Historical Climatology Network Daily and projections of future climate drawn from 15 global circulation models.

In related news, some other study somewhere by some other people compared the average length of carrots harvested on weeks when there was a full moon, with meteor activity on those same weeks.  That obviously true and scientifically sound study found that long carrots cause meteor showers.

But only during the full moon.