Beto O’Rourke Beclowns Himself a la Swalwell

Beto O’Rourke Beclowns Himself a la Swalwell

Beto O’Rourke Beclowns Himself a la Swalwell

“Mom, if Beto O’Rourke ACTUALLY did a mandatory buyback, would you sell your gun?”

That was the question my 22-year-old son posed to me last night in a text message. I had been on vacation for the past 10 days, and other than a quick foray into the world of current events, I stayed away from the computer, so I wasn’t sure what he was talking about.

“I saw Beto O’Dumbass’ tweet saying we need to buy back all the assault weapons,” he replied.

Yep, he’s my son, and he received the kind of answer I would give any adult son of mine. “That dickless wonder couldn’t confiscate a Nerf gun from a toddler. He needs to shut the fuck up. He ain’t winning shit.”

But in an effort to be relevant and edgy, Robert Francis O’FakeHispanicRourke is now advocating a mandatory buyback of any “assault weapon” that makes him soil himself in fear – that is to say, all of them.

The first question from anyone listening to this blithering fuckwit should be, “buy back with whose money?”

The follow-up question that the press will never ask should be, “How do you buy back something you never owned in the first place, turnip?”

The easy answer is, you do not.

But this particular flaccid incompetent thinks that as President, he will magically get a pile of money to force people to sell their private property to the government. And he doesn’t think this presents any Constitutional problem whatsoever. Is this what the Democrats are really putting up as a challenge to the GOP next year?

Good luck with that, Sparky.

What will Beto do when no one comes forward to get a nominal amount of taxpayer dollars for their property? Will he go door to door personally to confiscate firearms? No, he will try to send troops to the homes of gun owners, because that impotent little coward is all about using government force to relieve Americans of their rights.

Didn’t we go through this once already?

Maybe my view is limited to only the people whom I know in the military, but I’m pretty sure the vast majority of those with whom I served will give Beto the one-finger salute when he issues the order.

I’m also pretty sure that the effect of this scary, black rifle ban will be about as effective as the last one was.

Between 1994 and 2004, the federal government banned the manufacture, sale, or transfer of assault weapons and large-capacity magazines.  A subsequent Department of Justice study found no evidence that the ban had had any effect on gun violence and stated that “should it be renewed, the ban’s effects on gun violence are likely to be small at best and perhaps too small for reliable measurement.”

A recent study published this year in the Journal of General Internal Medicine examined state gun control policies and found no statistically significant relationship between assault weapon or large-capacity magazine bans and homicide rates. A Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) study came to the same conclusion.

Despite the recent spate of murderous nutjobs using semi-automatic rifles to commit acts of murder, the overall rates of mass shootings that involved so-called “assault” weapons are tiny – less than one percent – so any buyback of these weapons will have a negligible impact on violent crime, and I’m being generous here.

But Beto O’Rourke’s goal isn’t to reduce violence, and he couldn’t give less of a flying rat’s fuck about mass murders. Now that Smallballs has exited the Presidential primary field with a whimper and a whole lot of pointing and laughing, Beto decided to pick up his losing strategy of focusing on gun control, rather than his previous strategy of being awkward, jumping on tables, and posting live videos of his dental appointments.

Beto is after publicity and money.

Want proof? Beto dropped the F-bomb in Virginia over the weekend in an effort to be edgy and cool when speaking about yet another nutjob going on a murder spree in Texas. He followed this desperate grasp for attention with a claim that the “…profanity is not the f-bomb. What is profane is a 17 month-old baby being shot in the face.” And to underscore this juvenile attempt at avant-gardiness, Beto is now selling t-shirts for gun grabbers.

Hey, I appreciate a good profanity, but not when it’s used arbitrarily, with no creativity whatsoever, and only for the purposes of “relating” to the average American. Sorry, Beto, you feckless fucknugget, this doesn’t score you points.

But I suppose he has to stand out somehow.

He’s not Elizabeth Warren whose claim to fame is faking her heritage to gain employment advantages. The media has forgiven her for the cultural appropriation of Native Americanism to hide the fact that she’s nothing more than a screeching, awkward white woman, but you can bet it’s going to become an issue in the 2020 Election against Donald Trump, who won’t let America forget Lizzie’s awkward “Well, I’m 1/2024th Native American” schtick. I’m pretty sure the Trump campaign will be selling fake Native American DNA kits with “Trump/Pence 2020” on them before long.

He’s certainly not Kamala Harris, whose record as a statist prosecutor who has put numerous people in prison for taking a puff of a joint, will be obscured by the fact that she has brown skin and a vagina.

He doesn’t have Bernie’s hair, his derpy, economically-illiterate persona, or the hilarity that ensues every time Bernie slaps something ignorant onto his Twitter feed.

And he doesn’t provide the entertainment that Joe Biden does every time he gropes a woman, invades her personal space, sniffs her hair, or forgets where he is.

Beto is simply a buck-toothed, skinny, white schmuck who pretends to be in touch with middle America, but can’t even cook a burger.

As such, I expect this sad little man to fade into obscurity, after backing out of the room obsequiously bowing and begging forgiveness for wasting everyone’s time and apologizing for being awkward, annoying, and white.

He may also want to study the Constitution a bit to discover what he can and cannot do as President, because I’m pretty sure ordering a gun “buyback” and enforcing it with government force is a bit illegal.


Featured image courtesy of: Donkey Hotey on Flickr; cropped, Some rights reserved, CC license 2.0

Written by

Marta Hernandez is an immigrant, writer, editor, science fiction fan (especially military sci-fi), and a lover of freedom, her children, her husband and her pets. She loves to shoot, and range time is sacred, as is her hiking obsession, especially if we’re talking the European Alps. She is an avid caffeine and TWD addict, and wants to own otters, sloths, wallabies, koalas, and wombats when she grows up.

  • Beto ‘Ersatz-Hispanic’ O’Rourke is pandering to raise money and nothing less. He should be aware of the fact that any action such as a ‘Mandatory buyback’ of assault weapons (see: Scary Black Rifles) would result in a mass of general civil disobedience unparalleled in our history. I and pretty much every person I call friend would laugh at such insanity and defy the government to actually enforce it.

    The democratic candidate list for the presidency in 2020 reads like a list of positions that are doomed before they get to a vote and yet, none of the candidates actually have any concrete plans to improve anything. Everything they are offering consists of take away plans. Socialism is a take away program that justifies itself as being fair with fairness being defined down to being equally poor in society all while the rich elite leadership vacation at far away places from the piles of refuse that America would be come under their control. Obama’s acquisition of his ‘getaway’ mansion on Martha’s Vineyard is proof that the socialism advocates we see are hypocrites of the highest order.

    So, when you hear any of the democrats for president speak, know they are all either in the exclusive club like Obama or that they are applying for membership by blathering about gun control and the environment as well as spreading the wealth…..None of it will do anything positive.

    • GWB says:

      a mass of general civil disobedience unparalleled in our history
      Oh, well, I wouldn’t say “unparalleled”! There’s a couple of towns in Massachusetts that might say otherwise. (And they were not the only places – just the first to encounter organized resistance.)

  • Scott says:

    ” I’m pretty sure ordering a gun “buyback” and enforcing it with government force is a bit illegal.”… Now Marta, when has illegality, or the Constitution stood in the way of demonrats? They’re above the law doncha know???

  • GWB says:

    How do you buy back something you never owned in the first place
    Well, it’s this cute little baloney phrase they’ve been using for years now to mean “confiscation with some minimal ‘compensation’ to pretend to satisfy the 5th Amendment.”

    The difficulty is courts have said it must be a “a full and perfect equivalent for the property taken.”* (Monongahela Navigation Co. v. United States).(h/t Justia
    The other difficulty is that it is supposed to be taken for “public use.” Buying weapons in order to destroy them is NOT “public use.”
    (* Ever heard of the gun folks who go and sit across the street from the ‘buyback’ spot and offer to give people fair value instead of the $100 gift cards the cops usually offer? Free market at work!)

    feckless fucknugget

    Hey now, give credit where it’s due. She’s one ONE thousand twenty fourth part native American.

    every time Bernie slaps something
    If it’s a speed bag, it slaps back!

    Arguably, the president could order a voluntary gun “buyback” (assuming you think they meet or evade the 5th Amendment issues) as part of BATF or FBI duties. As long as it’s not trying to criminalize a certain weapon (if it’s “common”) or force confiscation. Of course, he would need to get Congress to appropriate the money or give him authority to move money (he could declare an Emergency!).

    But, confiscation? Not only no, but Hell No!

    Somebody tell Robert to meet me on the Lexington Green, m’kay?

  • talgus says:

    as my Ar-15 was purchased during the “assault weapons ban” it surely is not an “assault weapon” and therefore can not be “buyback” material. violence towards a 17 month old is terrible, but if you are negative months old, is is A-OK with Blotto. In the current state of Odessa knowledge, it is a “work place violence” issue just like the Fort Hood massacre was. really tired of the Dept of Just Us way of things for Democrats.

  • Charles N. Steele says:

    The abuse of language by the left for purposes of decieving people is astonishing and must be entirely rejected. Not only is it not possible to buy *back* something one never owned, it’s also not *buying* to confiscate something, even if one “gives back” something in return. It’s theft.

    If the left does ever get to start a national confiscation program, though, I’ll be happy to make very competitive counteroffers to anyone foolish enough to go along.

  • SFC D says:

    Beto, if wish to take my AR, by all means, please drop by. You will not get my “assault rifle”. However, you will be assaulted by a large and powerful slap. I would never hit a “man” such as yourself with a closed fist. A bitch slap seems much more appropriate. Door’s open.

  • Michael G. Gallagher says:

    Stop using bad swear words. From now only use the phrase “toilet nugget.” I got this from a novel by the Australian sci-fi author John Birmingham

  • Dave47 says:

    DON”T call him Beto! I know it is a bit longer, but referring to him as Robert Francis shows him up as the fraud he is. Plus, it will aggravate him to no end.

  • RebeccaH says:

    Good lord, that is the worst attempt to make a burger I’ve ever seen. Charburger, more like, and who on God’s green earth would eat it with BROCCOLI? If Bucktooth Bobby’s cooking skills are any judge, this guy couldn’t even be a credible street sweeper.

  • Phelps says:

    As soon as there is a buyback, I’m going to clean out the plumbing section of Home Depot, make hundreds of zip guns, and become a millionaire.

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