If you’re a white person reading this — even a white woman — you probably have toxic whiteness, but you don’t even know it. Here you are going to work every day, interacting with POC (that’s People of Color, for those of you who aren’t woke), but you don’t even know how deadly you really are. Simply because you’re white.

But there’s a cure for that. It’s a seminar from the gals (see what I did there?) at Everyday Feminism entitled “Healing from Internalized Whiteness.”

Everyday Feminism first launched this dreck last year as an online course. Of course you had to pay money for it — $97, in fact. (What, did you think they’d hand out woke wisdom for free?) But since then they’ve gone uptown. Now they’re promoting a three-day event next year in Washington, DC; Oakland, CA; and New York City.

Moreover, if you’re a woman who plans to attend the January 19th Women’s March in DC, you really have it made. The DC toxic whiteness seminar has been scheduled “to accommodate people attending the Women’s March in DC.” Well, isn’t that white of them — oops.

The regular fee to attend will set you back $475. However, if you make under $30K per year (e.g., if you’re a poor white person living in Appalachia) you’ll pay only $350 to learn how you, as a low-income white woman, are privileged.

Self-awareness isn’t feminism’s strong suit, is it?

Credit: giphy.com.

Now you’re probably wondering why in the wide, wide world of (male-dominated) sports you as a white woman need this seminar? After all, you don’t feel like you’re privileged. You don’t think you have ‘toxic whiteness.’

Oh, but friends, you do have it. You just don’t know it.

Let Sandra Kim, the seminar’s founder, inform you:

“Privilege means that you don’t know what you don’t know.”

Okaaaay. . . And, for $475, she’ll explain it all.

For example, on the first day you’ll learn that “it’s impossible for you to not have internalized whiteness.” Why? Because you grew up in America’s racist paradise — which millions of people clamor to enter every year, but never mind that.

Then on the second day, you’ll learn how to stop hating yourself for being white. I dunno, that hasn’t been a problem for me. Nor do I accept the idea that I should hate myself for being white. As the cliché goes, “it is what it is.”

And finally, you’ll learn how to heal all those relationships you torpedoed when you told your white relatives that they, too, should feel guilty about being white. Plus, you can “inspire them with your anti-racism journey,” too.

And if you believe that, may I interest you in a bridge?

Or, you can save tons of money and laugh at this video, for free:

Now you might wonder why anyone should even care about this seminar. Yes, I’ve heard the argument over and over: “who cares?”

Well, you should. This ‘toxic whiteness’ theory is infiltrating our colleges, entertainment, social media, and it eventually ends up in our culture. As the late Andrew Breitbart said, “Politics is downstream from culture.” And as our Marta pointed out, a member of Congress already would like to regulate free speech.

So stay aware. But don’t worry if you have a genetic case of ‘toxic whiteness.’ If you are honest and respectful in your dealings with all people, you don’t have to worry about something that doesn’t even exist.

Featured image: Brand X Studio.