Moby: Has-Been Techno DJ, New CIA Operative

Moby: Has-Been Techno DJ, New CIA Operative

Moby: Has-Been Techno DJ, New CIA Operative

When the CIA wants to use a person to spread a Trump-Russia collusion story, they look no further than a DJ/musician who is slowly fading into obscurity. Moby to the rescue!Moby, whose birth name is Richard Melville Hall, told Kentucky radio station WFPK in an interview this week that he has “friends in the CIA” who asked him for his “help”.

“They were like, ‘This is the Manchurian Candidate, like [Putin] has a Russian agent as the President of the United States. So they passed on some information to me and they said, like, ‘Look, you have more of a social media following than any of us do, can you please post some of these things just in a way that sort of put it out there.’”

So, let’s get this straight. Moby has friends in the CIA who want to share “secret information” with him because he has a bunch of followers on Twitter. I can see how this went down. The CIA members went to a rave in Munich, ate a tofu steak with Moby at an after-party and took some disco biscuits and thought, “Yeah, man. He’s the one to save America and bust this whole Russian Collusion thing wide open, yo!” Here he comes to save the day! If you can’t stomach the follow video in its entirety, you can flash forward to his anti-Trump caricature at about 1:47:

Moby was a known Hillary Clinton supporter in 2016 and took to Billboard Magazine to voice his opinions. Here is an excerpt. (And, the punctuation and capitalization, or lack thereof, is his alone):

“and in the process you’ve denied the presidency to an experienced and erudite woman whose only shortcoming is being on the receiving end?of a 30 year right-wing smear campaign. ?as a life long progressive i’m supposed to be diplomatic and understanding, but america, what the f#ck is wrong with you?? but then i ask myself, very sadly, why am i surprised?? this is the same america that eats at burger king and is baffled as to why it ends up obese and cancerous and dying?this is the same america who thinks that granting health care to 20,000,000 people is somehow treasonous.?”

An “erudite” woman? Wow. You can read the whole “letter” to Americans here.

Moby. The same wack-a-doo who suggested Americans skip a shower after eating a burger.

Perhaps the real story here is not Moby and his tinfoil hat conspiracies and desperate attempt to get back into the limelight but the fact that if any of this were true, why on earth would CIA members be tracking down a random citizen to leak information in Twitter? We’ve got bigger problems here than an attention-seeking liberal vegan musician who is grasping at straws to be relevant. Oh, Moby! As much as I hate to quote your clueless nemesis Marshall Mathers right now here it goes: you’re too old, let go, it’s over, nobody listens to techno (or your musings for that matter). And now for our next joke. Two CIA agents walk into a bar…(rimshot)…is this thing on?! I’ll be here all night..don’t forget to tip your waitresses.

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3 Comments
  • Marta Hernandez says:

    LMAO!!! This guy looks like he’s snorted wayyyy to much catnip!

  • GWB says:

    why on earth would CIA members be tracking down a random citizen to leak information in Twitter?
    Because it’s *leaking*. Or, maybe, because they’ve figured out none of us are actually believing the leaks they’re passing to the media? So, they have to try a new tactic.

    BTW, don’t forget that “moby” is also a slang verb/noun. It stems from him suggesting back in 2004 that people (read: progs) go on conservative websites and do concern trolling and other false flag operations (like claiming they know that GW Bush once drove his girlfriend to an abortion clinic, and such). I won’t link to Urban Dictionary, but they remember.

  • J. Pascal says:

    Oh, wow. That’s really Moby? I never knew who the original moby was.

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