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Eight-year-old third-grader Aolani Dunbar of Carroll County, Georgia wanted little more than to fit in with the other kids at her grade school. For her, one way to achieve that was having long hair that she could brush and style like the other girls in her class. But what happened to Aolani may leave her permanently scarred.
Aolani, like lots of kids these days, had hair extensions weaved into her natural hair, with a splash of pink for fun. But when she arrived at school wearing the extensions, her classmates immediately surrounded her and began tugging on them. They spent the next two weeks bullying young Aolani, spending every day taking turns ripping bits of the weaved locks out of her natural hair. The attacks were so severe that Aolani’s grandmother, Dorris Bearden, alerted teachers at Aolani’s school. But by the time she intervened (why she waited so long we can debate), it was already too late: It was not just the weaved hair that had been pulled. Aolani’s natural hair was also ripped from her scalp, leaving a large, gaping wound at the crown, requiring immediate emergency care. The pictures are too graphic to show here—Aolani was essentially scalped, her natural hair requiring shaving to avoid infection—but the doctor who examined Aolani found the wound so acute that Aolani’s natural hair may never grow back, potentially requiring skin grafts to repair the damage. The experience, says her grandmother, has left Aolani with post traumatic stress.
“They kept pulling it and pulling it, especially on the playground,” she said. “Everybody got a chance, and I was in the gazebo sitting there crying because I have no friends to play with that will protect me.”
In the days that followed, Aolani’s story zigzagged its way onto social media. Family members on Facebook, in support of Aolani, have shaved their own heads, while others are requesting lengths of hair be donated to Locks of Love, who construct wigs for children and others in need.
But that’s not the only outpouring of support Aolani is receiving: A benefit ride sponsored by the group 2 Million Bikers to D.C. is scheduled for December 7th, 2013 in Carrollton, Gerorgia, with all proceeds going toward Aolani’s care. These are the very same brave and patriotic souls who organized the thousands of motorcyclists who recently rode to D.C. to protest its current state of ineptitude. Information for the event in Aolani’s honor can be found here. Kudos to them for walking the walk.
Many of us have been targets of bullying at some point in our lives. Those of us whose limits were eventually reached—finally retaliating against the abuser—discovered, not surprisingly, that bullies are typically little more than insecure cowards seeking attention. Only one of the young boys who perpetrated the assaults on Aolani has received punishment: a wimpy in-school suspension. The rest are free to keep bullying their classmates without repercussion. Now if you’re anything like me, your child is acutely aware that if she ever engaged in this type of behavior, the excrement would hit the air churning device at lightning speed. As parents, it is our responsibility to make certain that our children are not engaging in bullying in the first place. But if we discover that our little angels are running with the devil, it is our responsibility to see to it that our children understand that their actions have consequences, then impose those consequences expeditiously and without mercy. The lack of parenting—instilling reverence for others and the threat of consequence for their actions—leads directly to stories like Aolani’s. Unless we turn this wayward ship of zero personal responsibility and its first mate bullying around, with Captain Bully OBlamer at its helm, Aolani’s story will become the norm. We will need only a mirror to find at whom to point our finger.
**UPDATE: Victory Girls recognizes that there are always at least two sides to every story. Please click here.
Merle says: This is a sad comment on today’s parents.
Merle
Jodi Giddings says: Yes, it is. The fact that the children are receiving next to no disciplinary action sends a very disturbing message.
Janice yancey says: He was punished with ISS because he tugged on the front if her hat beside her face without permission. Not because he jumped her, threw her down and scalped her on the playground. This is a SMALL school. There are 60 something third graders who are ministered closely by 3 godly teachers. No one saw the “event” happen. Well except Doris, the grandma, who wasn’t even there.
Deebow says: How about the bully gets smashed in the face?
Bloody noses tend to slow assaultive behavior.
Jodi says: That’s one way to deal with it! 😉
Very sad story……….if it was true. The police and school both stated this was not a case of bullying. So the grandmother dropped the race card(because the childs mixed) and took it to social media, radio, and the news. It’s torn the community apart from her lies. Here’s the real story that Doris Bearden doesn’t want you to hear.
Tired of lies says: At least The Hoax is willing to publish the truth about what is going on!!!
Tired of lies says: Yet another organization that publishes the lies of a family. This family never proved the child was bullied. The family puts a weave in an 8 year old’s head. The weave gets infected and her hair falls out. All of a sudden the school is allowing bullies to rip her hair out. Really come on people think about it. No school is going to sit back and allow children to rip out another child’s hair.
Sadly this story is TRUE. I didn’t wait to report. I reported the very next day in early morn that it began the day before on Sept. 30th. 1st report Oct 1st. County school system states reported on or about the 8th of Oct. Which was actually not true. I reported to co. Office on 4th that was happening and I didn’t think school was handling properly. Co. Office didn’t talk back to me till 8th because they said they had been looking into. And children did not surround her and start. I was upset and stated on WSB that she walked in school and they began to pull it out. I meant this figuratively not literally. My apologies for my upset and nervousness on being put on TV (which we did not expect then)that I unintentionally phrased my words wrong. It started on 30th, of Sept. Which was Mon. And I couldn’t call till next day because work nights sleep days and gdaughter couldn’t tell me till late that evening. It was gradually done over a period of days and I grant the 2 boys did not realize the damage they were causing as neither did we. We noted ripped hair, sore scalp, and small amount of blood on 3rd day. It was reported daily to school and then school system requesting they keep boys from close contact with her. Our beef with boys although they didn’t really know what they were doing was going to cause the severe damage it did, they shouldn’t have been pulling it to start with and with the school because they took too lightly the reports and a simple seating rearrangement could have probably prevented it from continuing until scalp was torn. We did and still do think justice should be served but a vigilantly type group or individuals (not sure) started making threats to school and co. Office somehow getting names addresses and phone #,s on Facebook which was nothing to do with us and we went and posted to please stop. We wanted no one else hurt. In meantime because of this and fear it brought to community ourselves included a local blog called The Hoax picked it up and started posting lies, twisting words, and unfounded rumors from unbidden tidied sources about our family and digging into way past issues having nothing to do with current issues and have caused even more pain to all. School, us, community as a whole that it has gotten way away from the fact a child was hurt and we just wanted to let parents to make sure how they handled issues with any school. Not phone calls but go get signed documentation, etc. to protect all children and to call on state legislators for more clearer bullying policies, better definitions for their wording and more serious consequences. We just didn’t want more bullied children or bullies, or teachers trying to stop incidences, jumping from bridges, hanging theirselves, taking guns to school and teachers getting between them to die. The killing, dieing has to stop. That was our original posting along with my gbabies story and has continued to be our goal although people or blogs or whatever have gotten their noses into it and twisted from it’s original purpose altogether. Thank you for listening to one who knows 1st hand and the real purpose for our original effort. No where from being on FB did we have any idea of the attention it would draw. Call us country hicks but we were as stunned as everyone at the attention it has drawn. And our apologies for excitable words that were mistaken places that unintentionally caused some confusion in the story. We were all very upset to have this happen to our baby and unintentionally used phrases or words that were mostly unintentionally misconstrued.
Up were I stated unbidden tidied sources, I meant to say hidden, unidentified sources. Again my apologies for my instead of tongue twisting got my fingers twisted while typing.
Janice yancey says: Doris. Roopville family is tired of your lies. That’s not figurative. Stop lying. You wanted 15 minutes if game. You got it. You caused 2 weeks of disruption in our school. Our teachers and principal’s names and home addresses were posted for the world to see. For a school of only 406 students we had to have 3 cops police the halls for an entire week because of a threat to our kids. Aolanie’s hair may have been tugged, but you know without a shadow of doubt that the story is not nearly as drama laden as what you’re telling. If the teachers didn’t fear losing their jobs, trust me: they would post that school record gladly to shut your lying mouth up. That’s the only thing keeping your tale going.
Those hidden sources are teachers and other parents who have children going to the school that are tired of your lies. The same ones that you called racist and trashed talked their community. Are we suppose to believe the voices of several people or just the voice of one. You say we brought up a lot of information not related to the case but the truth is we left out a lot of information. Like the four DFAC’s investigations with one still open. The abuse Aolani received at the hands of her bipolar mother who’s receiving shock treatments. That’s why you have power of attorney over Aolani. Don’t forget that public records are easy to obtain and right now with as many people that you’ve pissed off with your lies we can easily access anything we want about you. Even if it is confidential. You dropped the ball putting that little girl through all this. Shame on you!
2MBTDC says: We at 2MBTDC will stand behind this child and any other child that has been a victim of bullying! We have changed our event to a “Community Event” because we are finding that many want to blame the children who are the victims ~ Not just in this girls case, but in many others across the state and nation. This ride will be for ALL victims! However, after hours of talking to this family we do feel this child WAS a victim. No matter HOW you spin it NO CHILD should hit or touch another child, PERIOD!
https://www.facebook.com/events/477649762351206/
Janice Yancey says: To the bikers: so you’ve investigated this story? You’ve pulled school records and interviewed 3 third grade teachers who would’ve witnessed such events as described by the grandmother. We are not against Aolani and all agree she is indeed a victim. She is NOT a victim of bullying at RES. We parents and families ate lunch at RES today. Where was poor little Aolani’s support group? Yep. Absent. Not to worry, though. Our PTO president and his sister gladly represented.
Most likely they mean they spoke to the grandmother. That’s how far their investigation went. The one running the 2MBTDC site didn’t even know about the many racial slurs from Doris about the community ignoring the situation because of them being “mostly white”. Great investigation skills. Aolani is being bullied but not by the school. It’s by her family.
Doris bearden says: If the school records weren’t altered then they will show I spoke the truth and I would have been at the lunch had I not be in classes and I will go next week. I did or said nothing wrong nor lies. Yes I said it was a predominately white school when someone ask did I think racial motivated, I said I didn’t know for sure but if it was I didn’t want it brought in because I want people to be seen as people and not color. I seem to remember reading on the justice page that that was a card they were going to play to get her story heard because she was bi racial and I have never or ever will hurt my grandchild. You can say all you want the story is true and it is sad it happened but it happened like I said it did. I’m sorry it brought shame to the school and that school officials feel the need to lie or cover their actions. They have to live with that. I heard last night at PTO that 1 of the same boys punched a 2nd grade little girl in the face. How much hurt and pain to children have to be done before eyes are opened. That is the SHAME here. That people will cover up for and protect bullies. I have several parents that are willing to stand with me in court and tell that I speak the truth!
Haley says: WHY do I get the feeling that one of the kids belongs to THE HOAX? It really does seem that way ~ especially since he hides behind some fake name ~ Appears a couple of others parents are posting on here too! Hope ALL the parents are held accountable for your kids doing this to another child!
Haley thank you for your support. We as the family would like to see the children that did this receiver a more sterner punishment from the school but sadly school officials refuse to see two weeks of hair pulling as bullying and won’t admit they were negligent in how they handled this situation. This is a good school but a good bit of bullying goes on here and not by just the ones who were responsible here. My granddaughter was labeled a bully because she was a pester pot a couple of years ago. She was not intentionally mean just would aggravate to point it would be nerve racking. It took us many hrs. Of discussion, correction and discipline to get her to learn to keep her hands to herself. The next yr due to pestering the yr. before she had some kids who didn’t care for her or want to be her friend, which I explained to her it was because she had made bad choices so was a consequence she had to live with and to still be kindTo all. Some of those children the next yr. then began to pick on her. When she pestered she had some who picked back with her but then as i said next yr some began to pick on her. She at times would get frustrated (as I’m sure they had, but as I said she wasn’t mean she was just very annoying because she just didn’t know when enough was enough or that stop meant stop. Anyway to carry on she would get frustrated because they said or did mean things so she started reacting back and got in trouble and only she got in trouble and then had to face discipline at home because we told her not to react but tell the teacher. She tried but then the teacher never believed her because she had decided my granddaughter was not a like able child and stated so on a report we have copies of. I worked 20 yrs in school system and found some children hard to take but never labeled one on paper as unlike able. Aolani would go to teacher but to no avail. It was always no matter the circumstances her fault. And she got disciplined. She decided then in 1st grade that teachers never believed her so why bother and she just gave up. She stopped trying to make friends and just played with 2or 3 that were her friends. 2nd grade we changed her school for fear it would follow her by teacher word of mouth and hoped to give her a fresh start. She did well at other school but about 2 months before end of school term we had to return her to old school and prayed things would be better. Her 2nd grade teacher at end of yr. and Aolani herself said everything went well and that Aolani was a kind, consider child with much potential. We were thrilled. Then at beginning of 3rd grade the 2 boys started picking on her calling her fat, stupid and making fun because she is an early bloomer. They tore up her backpack and personal items, pushed her against the concrete walls, out of chairs into the floor, twisted her arm and then the hair pulling began. Aolani never told teacher’s about it because of her earlier experience in 1st grade and didn’t tell me timely enough that I felt I could report. But when the hair pulling started she came straight to me and I immediately reported the morn after the 1st day it started . It began Sept. 30th and was 1st reported on Oct. 1st. Another mother has told me that early in Sept. She herself wrote a letter to Aolani’s home room teacher telling her that her daughter came home everyday unset and crying because the 2 were bullying Aolani. A few days later she got a short note in her daughter’s agenda saying thank you for your concern. According to GA bullying law when a child has been reported bullying by an adult (even if not the guardian) or that a child is being bullied reported in same way the school has to notifiy each child’s parent or guardian. We were never notified because school system and many many other school system don’t want to see anything as bullying.?it puts more pressure and work to make sure it is documented and handled properly or it could result in job loss. So they never say anything is bullying. That way if it is a cafeteria incident or playground incident or classroom incident or hallway, or bathroom or anything it is an incident never even if repetitive behavioral pattern is it bullying. Laws a need to change, become clearer stated where school’s can’t drop thru loopholes, better define bullying( it is vague), carry much sterner consequences, hold school accountable if negligent and parents and guardians of bullies accountable if a child is injured. It is time to call a spade a spade and not call bullying just being a kid. We all need to call on our state reps, senators, governors, etc and get new bullying laws and policies for schools so they have to deal with it. I ask the school everyday it happened to get it stopped and to separate my granddaughter from them. She sat between in class, therefore she walked in line between, sat between in cafeteria, and between in most every class extra between them. Had they just to be on safe side(even if it weren’t true-sadly it is true and it happened-moved her seating arrangement my granddaughter might very well still have her hair and not a 4 in diameter bald spot and still a big sore on the crown of her head where it will be extremely hard to cover up with her other hair when it ever grows back. Instead she is looking at possible skin graphs, hair plugs or a wig for the rest of her life. She is 8 yrs. old. And people wonder why after yrs. of being bullied with no one listening to them they jump off bridges, hang theirselves or take guns to school and kill innocent others in the process of killing the bully and usually theirselves. It doesn’t happen after 1 or 2 incidences of bullying and no one doing anything about it. It has been going on several yrs. and they have felt helpless so long they do something horrific. Our children are dieing daily because bullying is swept under the rug. Please everyone start getting in touch with your lawmakers and let’s get these laws changed, make everyone involved accountable. We need to stop children dieing.
Janice yancey says: Doris, you are so exaggerating this tall tale. Perhaps it is you yourself that the teachers don’t believe and not Aolani. Ever hear the boy who cried wolf? Maybe you’re the boy. I hope you’re about to lose your steam because your little circus act is getting pretty old. How dare you call these phenomenal teachers liars! How date you say that our administration has pushed this under the rug for the sake if reputation. How date you accuse them of changing school records. At what point do you yourself own what you’re pulling? Either you’re lying or Aolani is. My votes with you. I’ve seen this child. I’ve talked to this child. She’s starving for attention, and sadly she’s getting the wrong kind. I would say that beautiful and sweet girl has a whole lot more honesty in her body right now than you’ve ever had in your entire life. Can it, Lady!
Doris Bearden says: Can it now look at the bully! Guess we can see where the other kids get it from! HOME
Janice yancey says: Yes we can, Doris! They get their lying at home!!! You know you are lying. Drop this insanity and apologize to our school!
doris nearden says: Didn’t lie to start with. Won’t lie now just to appease consciences by saying I did. And I don’t apologize for speaking TRUTH!!
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