Okay, Obama’s SOTU address is over, thank goodness. Obama read his teleprompter, both sides of the aisle cheered for pretty-sounding empty words, we played drinking games counting how often he uttered certain trademark inane phrases (to be clear, uh, uh, uh, income inequality, etc.), and we realized once again that our current POTUS is the epitome of a “empty suit.” Now that the yearly endurance trial is over, maybe we can talk about a different topic . . . like dogs pooping. Yes, I know that’s a big leap. Then again, maybe not so much.

Consider this article about dogs pooping.  A study has been published that claims that, when not restrained (i.e. on a leash), dogs will align themselves with the north-south axis of the earth when they poop, and they are also sensitive to slight changes in the Earth’s magnetic field.  I’m not kidding. Here’s a video about it.

We’ve all watched dogs perform that crazy where-should-I-poop dance as they move around the yard until they find the perfect place to do their business. Then they go into the half-squatting padding-around-in-a-circle dance – first one way, then the other – until they settle on which direction to face as they poop. I’ve always wondered why on earth they went through such an elaborate routine.  Now the mystery is solved.

I read that article about dogs pooping a few weeks ago.  I started to write about it then, but it was just too silly.  But then Obama’s SOTU came along and I realized that YIKES!  OBAMA’S SOTU SPEECH IS LIKE DOGS POOPING!  “How?” you may ask.

Just off the bat, both are necessary rituals that we have to endure; after each is over, we’re a little put off by the outcome; there’s a lingering odor in the air; it’s basically the same as last time; and while the culprits go obliviously on their way, we’re left to clean up the mess; and it’s nothing but waste anyway.  Dogs align themselves with the earth’s magnetic field; Obama aligns himself with the left’s talking points.  Or even better, he aligns himself to make his golf shots.  I could go on, but you get the idea.

There are some distinct dissimilarities as well.  The main one is that once the dog is finished, he’s all out of poop – at least for awhile.  However, even after an inexorably long SOTU speech, Obama is still full of it.

And there you have it – your completely irrelevant (and irreverent) comparison for the day.  Feel free to share in comments other ways the two are similar or not.