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The amazing Obamamessiah DOESN’T SWEAT when he works out!

The amazing Obamamessiah DOESN’T SWEAT when he works out!

Get ready to be amazed, mortals, because this story will BLOW YOUR MINDS. Seriously. This may be the most important thing you’ll read today. You, lucky reader, will get to read a first-hand account of the wonders of the Obamamessiah’s workout regimen and how he doesn’t even sweat.

It’s 16:02pm and I’ve been training in the gym of the Ritz Carlton hotel in Berlin. A man in a suit approaches me and says: “Barack Obama is about to come and train …“ Shortly after half past four and he actually arrives! Barack Obama is wearing a grey t-shirt, black tracksuit bottoms – and a great smile!

“Hi, how’s it going?“ asks Obama in his deep voice. My heart beats. “Very good, and you?” I say. Obama replies: “Very good, thank you!”

Obama (with toned arms and a strong back) puts on his headphones for his iPod to listen to pop music. He hums quietly. Then he jumps on a fitness bike. He pushes three times on the pedals – but then can’t be bothered with it.

He goes and picks up a pair of 16 kilo weights and starts curling them with his left and right arms, 30 repetitions on each side. Then, amazingly, he picks up the 32 kilo weights! Very slowly he lifts them, first 10 curls with his right, then 10 with his left. He breathes deeply in and out and takes a sip of water from his 0,5 litre Evian bottle.

Shortly before five o’clock Obama comes over and sits directly next to my cross-trainer on the mat. First he does 10 sit-ups, then stretches. Then he looks at his watch and says to his bodyguard: “It’s time, let’s go.” Quickly I ask: “Mr. Obama, could I take a photo?”. “Of course!” he answers, before asking my name and coming over to stand next to me.

“My name’s Judith” I reply. “I’m Barack Obama, nice to meet you!” he says, and puts his arm across my shoulder. I put my arm around his hip – wow, he didn’t even sweat! WHAT A MAN!

The emphasis, believe it or not, was in the original.

So, get this: he’s got a deeeeep voice that makes this woman’s heart race. He’s all toned and muscular. He drinks Evian. He can do curls with 32 kilo weights — that’s like, 70 lbs! And then, on top of all that, he doesn’t even sweat. I mean, this must surely be proof that the Obamamessiah truly is the Savior and not of our kind. He’s just such a hunk!

This was written by Judith Bonesky, a German reporter. Very professional, huh? Maybe she’s just the female version of Chris “I Felt This Thrill Going Up My Leg” Matthews. Or maybe the press isn’t even trying to hide their adoration of Barack Obama anymore. Who knows? Who cares? This story is the most ridiculous thing I think I have ever read to be passed off as “news” — and yes, it was posted in the news section of the website. Because, you know, Barack Obama’s work-out regimen is breaking news.

Maybe the editors should add a “adolescent gossipy worship” section if they want to keep running stories like this. But then again, we now know that the Obamamessiah doesn’t even sweat when he works out. And if that doesn’t convert you racist non-believers, well then, nothing will.

Hat Tip: Michelle Malkin

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10 Comments
  • Vernunft says:

    What medical condition would cause you not to sweat? Is Obama medically fit to be President?

  • Ironwolf32 says:

    He shouldn’t be sweating. He didn’t do much of a workout.

    He pedalled 3 times on the bike, did a 2 sets of dumbbell curls (30 reps at 35 lb and 10 at 70lb), and then 10 situps.

    Two sets using only his biceps is not that hard a workout. Biceps are much smaller compared to the chest, lats and quads and use far less energy for exertion. Plus the air conditioning…

    I will give him credit for curling 70lb-10 times. That is quite a bit of weight to be curling… though I have never seen dumbbells heavier than 50 lb at any hotel I have been at.

    It still doesn’t make him president worthy.

  • Cylar says:

    It still doesn’t make him president worthy.

    Amen. He isn’t campaigning to be Mr Universe…and we don’t expect presidents to go overseas and personally wrestle hand-to-hand with foreign dictators. The president needs brains, not brawn.

  • Toa says:

    I’m gonna make a “racist” proposition here: if Miss Bonesky had experienced the same encounter, with identical details, with a (truly) strong young white male Conservative, it would have resulted in a sneering, hateful article which would make Maureen Dowd read like Amy Vanderbilt. Presumptive, I admit- but I’ve seen way too many silly, immoral women like Judith Bonesky cheerleading for anti-white-male racists to think otherwise.

  • DavidL says:

    What does it say about Ms Bonesky’s credentials, or lack thereof same, when she writes fawningly of BO’s “workout” when, if her reporting can be trusted, he didn’t even work up a sweat? Ms. Bonesky evidently doesn’t know much about work-outs.

  • Althor says:

    Quote: “I put my arm around his hip – wow, he didn’t even sweat! WHAT A MAN!”

    Judith Bonesky

    At the expense of touching upon a taboo subject, offending some people, and being infinitely politically incorrect, I have to advance the proposition of whether this apparently subconscious, inordinate, visceral reaction of libido on the part of Miss Bonesky may not reflect the phenomenon of white women swooning and fainting and going into what can only be described as ecstatic orgasms at Obama rallies and in Obama’s presence. May it perhaps be that in their inbreeding, in America as well as in Europe, they instinctively have a subconscious compulsion to expand their gene pools with the charming, “swarthy,” “Obamamessiah”? If not so, how else can you explain such visceral reactions, such debasing obeisance, such exagerated adulation, and so much hysteria and hype about this insignificant “Magische Schwarze”?

    This may even explain the fawning of the media (made up of mostly inbred, Elitist, white, liberals – many of them “female”) and may even explain Chris Matthews’ “I Felt This Thrill Going Up My Leg” Obama libido, which can easily be explained if you add Mr. Matthews’ similar compulsion to expand his inbred gene pools with some latent homosexual tendencies on his part.

    Does it make any sense to anyone? How else can you explain away so much apparently compulsive madness about this most unqualified of candidates…other than the damn color of his skin?!?!

  • Toa says:

    Althor, you’ve nailed it.
    This is what I call the “White-girl Bimbo Constituency”, and like you said, it is definitely something most people don’t like to discuss, for fear of the dreaded “R word”..(scary music…). Our “Culture of Divorce/Dysfunction” has produced an entire sub-culture of fragmented, angry females who disdain men of their own culture (starting with their Dads) and persue fetishes (mostly sexual) with “exotic” men, and it seems especially common among white females. This makes up a sizable portion of the Obama following, and it amounts to nothing more than “Oooooo- he’s a cool (read “Leftwing racist”) black dude!!!!”

  • Deathknyte says:

    She is a reporter for the German equivalent of The Sun. Yes, its a gossip magazine.

    Personally, I wasn’t even aware they MADE 70 pound dumb bells.

  • Althor says:

    Quote: “Personally, I wasn’t even aware they MADE 70 pound DUMB BELLS.”

    Deathknyte

    Oh, is that how much she weighs? I thought Miss Bonesky weighed more than that…she doesn’t seem that skinny in the picture. 🙂

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