The Republican and Democrat Conventions are finally and mercifully over. Two weeks of that malarkey. Two whole, freaking weeks. For the love of all that is Holy, please, oh please, give us poor, unwashed clods out here in flyover country a break between the conventions. I know that won’t happen, so in four years, I will lay in more Gin and remove all the sharp objects from the house.

The Republican Convention was bad enough. Really, you know it’s true. But, for assuming stupidity in their own base and in their Taco Bowl Outreach, no group has ever been more epically heinous than the Democrat National Convention in Philadelphia last week. #DemsInPhilly, doncha know.

Never in history, not in Ancient Rome or Egypt, not in Argentina or any other Banana Republic, has any group condescended and smirked to themselves over how they punked their audience.

I have compiled my most heinous moments. Well, honestly, once I got started I had, like, 37. I had to categorize them. So rather than moments, they are categories. I call on you to compile your own and let me know.

Here in no particular order:

1. Pure Patriotism

Yeah, they mentioned the Founding Fathers. They said The Pledge of Allegiance. They put up some flags, eventually. And, the Mainstream Media ate it up. Total thrills up their legs and everything. Rush Limbaugh compiled some of the juicy love quotes, and in the following video, they start at about three minutes in.

It makes you want to ask what they were watching or —-if they were watching?? Hmmmm?

2. Booing our Heroes

When the attendees in the Wells Fargo Arena weren’t making sure they had their ID’s, they were disrespecting our heroes. The rabble at the Democrat Convention either booed or shouted “No More Wars” “War Hawk” or “Lies” at Leon Panetta, who was Secretary of Defense and served in the Army, General John Allen, United States Marine Corps and Medal of Honor recipient Florent Groberg.

A small snippet from Mr. Panetta’s speech:

3. Child Exploitation

The Trump “USA Freedom Kids” were heinous enough. The DNC took child exploitation to a whole next level thing.

I need a really angry emoji to express how I feel. Using children, grrr!. I have no words. Oh wait, I do. Shame. Shame on her activist mother. Shame on Hillary Clinton. Shame on the Democrat National Convention. Eleven year old Karla said, “Yo soy Americana.” I am American. She cannot know the difference. Not with our open borders and her activist, exploiting family, but “Yo soy de los Estados Unidos America.” I am from the United States of America. Big difference.

4. Hollywood Shows Its Backside

This category is YUGE. Sarah Silverman, an alleged comedienne and Bernie Sanders supporter, probably hit her comedic height when she told the Bernie Sanders hold outs, “You’re being ridiculous.” Of course, she was standing next to Stuart Smalley Senator Al Franken, so he probably gave her a nice affirmation to repeat.

Meryl Streep was so happy about the Hillary nomination that she did a Howard Dean scream.

Elizabeth Banks, America Ferrera and Lena Dunham were all present but the take the cake winner was Miss Eva Longoria. Please watch this short clip:

Because no border in the history of the world has ever changed, right. You do not have to stay in the United States or take our money in payment for your work. Just sayin’. By the way, Mr. Trump did not call YOUR FATHER a rapist or a murderer. And, thank your father for his service.

In order to get eyes on the tube, the Democrat National Convention brought in Katy Perry, Carole King, Alicia Keys and Boys II Men. Well, at least the music was good.

5. Disrespecting Fallen Policeman

This tells you everything you need to know about the angry Democrat constituents. A Dallas Police Chief calls for a moment of silence and the Social Justice Warriors from Black Lives Matters couldn’t be respectful for a moment.

6. Hillary Clinton’s Speech

I am going to put the video in, but I advise you not to watch it. Unless, that is, you need to sleep.

It certainly put her husband, former President Bill Clinton, right out.

My dear husband always says that Hillary is like the little girl who practices the piano ruthlessly and religiously, but her performance is never better than workmanlike. Bill is like the genius who doesn’t care to practice, but in performance is perfection.

AND THE WORST OF THE DNC 2016

7. The Holiest Sacrament of the DNC – Abortion

Ilyse Hogue celebrates murdering babies and her own selfishness.

She tells a whopper about those against abortion also being against contraception. Against contraception because evil, white, powerful men don’t want women to be fully actualized.

This makes defunding Planned Parenthood top of the list for our next President.

That is it.

Now I am going to go have a Dirty Martini with five olives in my Secret Garden and try to forget what I saw at the DNC 2016.