Flanked by Vice President Joe Biden and the hapless looking Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter, President Barack H. Obama announced his latest plan to close the terrorist detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Mr. Obama first pledged to close Gitmo as a candidate in 2008. In the ensuing eight years, he has made plans about once a year for the closing.

Here is the video of the entire seventeen minutes:

If you don’t care to waste seventeen minutes of your life watching this video, Obama used his usual rhetorical tricks and also massive use of the “I” word.

1. Keeping Gitmo open is a terrorist recruiting tool. No, it isn’t really, but Obama says it is. However, President Obama personally raining down death from the sky by drones, doesn’t recruit terrorists. Really? You kill my Uncle Abdul with a drone strike, I am coming after you. You put my Uncle Abdul in Gitmo with three hots, a cot and arrows pointing to Mecca and I am all good.

2. Our Article Three courts in the continental USA work just fine. Every instance that Obama sited as a winning conviction involved a terrorist who committed his crime on United States territory. I am no lawyer, but I think it would change the legal status significantly of a terrorist taken on a foreign battlefield and then brought into the United States proper.

3. Those of us who don’t want terrorists brought into the United States are operating from fear and misinformation. Sorry, Mr. President. We are not afraid. We have your number and the number of every weak kneed, spaghetti spined politician currently holding elected office. We are afraid of you and our elected officials. Not the terrorists. We can take care of them.

4. Holding terrorists at Guantanamo Bay does not represent “our values”. American values are our values. Holding battlefield combatants in a tropical paradise is just fine with me.

5. President Bush released Gitmo prisoners and wanted to close the facility. Yeah, that was probably a mistake too.

Obama has developed a really bad case of upspeak. His voice rises at the last few words of every sentence. This probably represents his frustration at having to explain himself to us “yet again”. But, he sounds shrill. He sounds like Hillary Clinton. Oh, I just got a huzz thinking of her.

Obama talked about releasing terrorists to other countries. Which ones? Yemen? Well, I will sleep better at night knowing that terrorists are out there plotting against the U.S. in a country that has been known to condone terrorism.

Hopefully, this plan will be no more successful than any other plan, including his Inauguration Day Executive Order.