Surprise, surprise-our universities are taking yet another preemptive measure to ensure that free speech and “tolerance” to all beliefs and all walks of life are respected on their campuses……

….by banning any and all hypothetical Chick-fil-A establishments.

The latest to hop on the Chick-Fil-A bandwagon was Johns Hopkins University. Where a Student Government Organization resolution was made this past week stating

“visiting prospective and current students, staff, faculty and other members of the LGBTQ+ community or the allies would be subjected to the microagression of supporting current or future Chick-fil-A development plans.”

The proposal of a Chick-Fil-A on Johns Hopkins campus was just a hypothetical one–however, colleges and Universities such as North Carolina State University and Indiana University have even gone so far as to launch efforts to ban already established Chick-Fil-A’ in their communities.

The Johns Hopkins SGA cited Chick-fil-A’s President and CEO, Dan Cathy’s opinion on same-sex marriages and his support of the traditional, biblical family unit as the main reason of opposing .

One Johns Hopkins SGA representative fought the opposition:

So, let’s get this straight– we now have “safe spaces” where college kids can go and cuddle up with a blankie and suck their thumbs if they feel offended by anyone and anything by hitting their “triggers” and now, folks, we insert “mircoaggression” into the picture. What is “microaggression”, you ask? Apparently, it is a legitimate word. Try this on for size:

Microaggression: a form of unintended discrimination. It is depicted by the use of known social norms of behavior and/or expression that, while without conscious choice of the user, has the same effect as conscious, intended discrimination.

The microaggression theory was coined by a Psychiatrist, Harvard (big shocker here) professor by the name of Chester M. Pierce in the 70s to describe the discriminatory underhanded insults white students doled out to African-American students at that time. The LGBTQ(….W,X, Y and Z) community has been on a crusade–targeting Chick-Fil-A for “microaggressions” against gays staging protests and “kiss-ins” inside and outside the establishment.

So now, ladies and gentlemen…. a chicken sandwich is “microagressive”. Going to said establishment to purchase said chicken sandwich is also a form of aggression. Actually, according to some, it may be seen as a hate crime. Eat that chicken sandwich and you are a total bigot and crossing the line…and any “bigotry” on our college campuses will not be —a-hem—

……tolerated.

We already knew that Chick-Fil-A being a Christian company was offensive to our atheist geniuses who wanted to get their grub on Sundays. Now, being heterosexual and possibly part of a traditional marriage/family is offensive and a form of “microaggression”? What a revelation!  And a heterosexual eating a chicken sandwich from a company that promotes family values, God in the traditional sense is apparently, now–you guessed it– “offensive.”

After all–can’t you feel those heterosexual vibes oozing from the walls upon walking into a Chick-Fil-A? I mean, how can you be sure that  the sandwich isn’t like, laced with “Hetero-Christian” dust or something?  Don’t look at the cashier, either–he or she may hit you with a Bible verse because Chick-Fil-A clearly wants to ram it down your throat. Maybe you want to head over there with your partner and make-out in a booth to prove a point (with no aggression intended here, of course)….you know…because they are force-feeding you this fundamentalism and you, like, don’t believe in it?

So “aggressive.”  How dare they put an extra pickle on your sandwich. What are they implying?

I’m sorry my chicken sandwich is now a “trigger warning” and it offends you–but –peace to you–love and light–it was delish.