Seeking to avoid the death penalty, Nikolas Cruz, the shooter at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, has offered to plead guilty to 17 acts of premeditated murder. The prosecutors should accept this offer and end the proceedings as quickly as possible. In order to avoid more sensationalism and encouraging copycats, this would be the right thing to do. Cruz is responsible for the latest mass shooting in America. His propensity to cause this violence was known to authorities, but for several reasons, he managed to carry out his deadly wishes this week. Information on the victims of the shooting can be found here.

It is unusual that a mass shooter has been taken alive. Usually these events end with their death, either by force or through their own self-inflicted injury. In this case, it was reported that Cruz made his getaway from the school by blending into the chaos as others exited the buildings. He got a drink at a Subway, then sat at a McDonald’s for a few minutes. He was taken into custody less than an hour after the attack. Perhaps we can learn more from him, if we are willing to listen.

Another unusual thing about this incident, is that it has provoked much more of an outpouring of what I believe is missing from our society – compassion for those suffering, not just as victims of crimes, but an openness to those who have committed these crimes. If Nikolas Cruz had gotten the right help at the right time, I firmly believe 17 people would not be dead. That he picked up a gun and did this unspeakable act is only the last predictable step in his unhappy life. We don’t know that much about his home life yet, except that he was adopted, and his adoptive mother died three months ago. He was frequently in trouble at school, and police were called to his home many times. These facts were known to authorities, who for the most part probably did everything they thought they could (except for the FBI, that mistake has proved unacceptably consequential). Here are more facts about Cruz’ troubled childhood:

But here’s where we need to rethink everything. We need to let the policy ideas aside for a few minutes, and concentrate on thinking about those who are right now feeling ostracized and isolated. Those are the ones who will be on our television screens next, bringing us to tears and uncontrollable anger that this could happen again.

We need to understand that while we are not doing anything wrong ourselves, we have a duty as humans to establish connections with one another. It is not optional, and as much as we’d like to pick and choose, sometimes we just need to talk to that weird person next to us. Pay attention to those who are unusually quiet one day. Observe who is left out of the party planning. This is not just for our children, it is true for each of us adults, too. We all need acceptance. And it honestly doesn’t take much to give someone a little lift. Come on, you’ve felt it yourself when someone does a small, but kind deed for you. Perhaps just noticing you instead of brushing past. It will make you feel good, too.

This is the difficult thing we don’t want to do. Compared to this, passing laws is easy. We argue about passing laws, because it helps us to avoid talking about connecting with one another. Let’s truly turn the other cheek when our political enemies throw the blame our way. Someone has to rise above the pettiness in order to truly address the problem. There is plenty of time to argue about policy, but we have run out of time to fix our unity.