A few weeks back, the attention-seeking, mentally ill individual we know as Dylan Mulvaney told us he was fleeing the country to “feel safe”.

Mulvaney all but gave his address when he fled to Peru amidst the Bud Light backlash. But, hey, the silence on Machu Picchu was just enough to drive attention-whore, Dylan Mulvaney cray-cray, so, he’s now come up with this: college speaking engagements.

I mean, the boney-ass guy in the Nike sports bra has to come up with some way to shove food into his pie hole, right?

Creative Arts Agency (CAA) is offering up speaking engagements for Dylan Mulvaney. Here’s more:

Dylan Mulvaney (she/they) is a trans actress and content creator living in Los Angeles, CA. She was touring with Broadway’s Book of Mormon and when the pandemic hit, she turned to TikTok. Dylan now has 6 million followers on TikTok, where she highlights her transgender journey in a series titled “Days of Girlhood” which has received over 750 million views in less than 100 days. TikTok has crowned her their “trailblazer” for the month of June, and she made Good Morning America’s “Who is Making LGBTQ+ History Right Now?” list. She is currently developing a slate of projects tied to her journey. Dylan holds a BFA in Musical Theatre from the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music.”-CAA

After all, a college environment should be a “safe space”, correct? Dylan can start with the Ivy League. A few weeks back, we talked about Brown University’s increasing LGBTQ numbers. Seems as if other Ivies are following suit and hopping on the trend.

Other Ivies aren’t far behind. In fact, more than a third of students at Princeton and more than a quarter at Yale and Harvard identify as LGBTQ+, as per recent polling — and campus sources chalk it up, in part, to politics and a desire to join an ‘oppressed” group.'”-Rikki Schlott, The New York Post

I mean, if the educational/political/media machine in our country did not get ’em in elementary school, or junior high, or high school, let’s grab ’em in college, right? It’s never too late to confuse the hell out of these kiddos. My guess is this, Dylan Mulvaney will show up, outfitted in Kate Spade, and talk about his delusions of “being a girl” and trying to use tampons. He will talk about how Bud Light left him out to dry and “didn’t stand by him”. He will talk about how “oppressed” he is as a she/they and completely gloss over the fact that once upon a time, he was a privileged white GUY who went off to college to major in music.

I am wondering if Dylan Mulvaney couldn’t make a tour out of this and bring along some of his BFFs. Dylan could discuss how he wants to carry and give birth to a baby. When college Biology majors who have some of their brains left are sitting in the audience questioning this, he can bring out Admiral Rachel Levine to talk about the right puberty and the “wrong puberty“. He can continue to dole out fashion advice to girls and discuss “steal worthy luggage and outfits” with Sam Brinton. And, to add the extra cherry on top of this of this fest of the oppressed, Mulvaney could bring out Antifa Super Soldier, Lia(r) Thomas who had to swim with a bunch of women who “bullied” him but pushed through and won a championship in spite of the horrors.

Getting a “real job” is beneath Dylan Mulvaney. I’m sure CAA is charging thousands per engagement. for this sham of a “woman” should to parade around in a dress and designer heels and talk about the “struggles” of being a woman/girl, whatever the hell he claims to be on any given day. Single moms working to support their families make a small fraction of this and yet do not complain. The true “feminists” of these Ivy League universities will give HIM a pass for making womanhood an outright parody. There will be no outrage. They will all sit in their masked, androgynous glory in an auditorium and applaud Dylan Mulvaney for being “stunning and brave”. Let’s change the wording on this a bit, shall we? Dylan Mulvaney is far from a stunner. HE will never be. And, brave? Ballsy, yes. But brave? Nope. Yes, Dylan, I said ballsy. Why? Because you still have those BALLS!

Truth hurts, Mulvaney, I know. Love ya. Byyyyyeeeee.

Feature Photo Credit: TikTok Screen shot of Bud Light can w/Mulvaney face via Twitter, cropped and modified