When the CIA wants to use a person to spread a Trump-Russia collusion story, they look no further than a DJ/musician who is slowly fading into obscurity. Moby to the rescue!Moby, whose birth name is Richard Melville Hall, told Kentucky radio station WFPK in an interview this week that he has “friends in the CIA” who asked him for his “help”.

“They were like, ‘This is the Manchurian Candidate, like [Putin] has a Russian agent as the President of the United States. So they passed on some information to me and they said, like, ‘Look, you have more of a social media following than any of us do, can you please post some of these things just in a way that sort of put it out there.’”

So, let’s get this straight. Moby has friends in the CIA who want to share “secret information” with him because he has a bunch of followers on Twitter. I can see how this went down. The CIA members went to a rave in Munich, ate a tofu steak with Moby at an after-party and took some disco biscuits and thought, “Yeah, man. He’s the one to save America and bust this whole Russian Collusion thing wide open, yo!” Here he comes to save the day! If you can’t stomach the follow video in its entirety, you can flash forward to his anti-Trump caricature at about 1:47:

From now on, every time a celebrity is popping off on Trump we have to ask them if the CIA told them to https://t.co/aGHHexoOHC

— Jack Posobiec 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec) January 14, 2018

Twee-cret Agent Manhttps://t.co/nSy46NN4i1

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 13, 2018

Of course they did. I’m just relieved Moby is there to crack the case😂 https://t.co/qMyKv6DUCJ

— JohnWickofPolitics (@Gingrich_of_PA) January 13, 2018

Moby was a known Hillary Clinton supporter in 2016 and took to Billboard Magazine to voice his opinions. Here is an excerpt. (And, the punctuation and capitalization, or lack thereof, is his alone):

“and in the process you’ve denied the presidency to an experienced and erudite woman whose only shortcoming is being on the receiving end?of a 30 year right-wing smear campaign. ?as a life long progressive i’m supposed to be diplomatic and understanding, but america, what the f#ck is wrong with you?? but then i ask myself, very sadly, why am i surprised?? this is the same america that eats at burger king and is baffled as to why it ends up obese and cancerous and dying?this is the same america who thinks that granting health care to 20,000,000 people is somehow treasonous.?”

An “erudite” woman? Wow. You can read the whole “letter” to Americans here.

Moby. The same wack-a-doo who suggested Americans skip a shower after eating a burger.

Perhaps the real story here is not Moby and his tinfoil hat conspiracies and desperate attempt to get back into the limelight but the fact that if any of this were true, why on earth would CIA members be tracking down a random citizen to leak information in Twitter? We’ve got bigger problems here than an attention-seeking liberal vegan musician who is grasping at straws to be relevant. Oh, Moby! As much as I hate to quote your clueless nemesis Marshall Mathers right now here it goes: you’re too old, let go, it’s over, nobody listens to techno (or your musings for that matter). And now for our next joke. Two CIA agents walk into a bar…(rimshot)…is this thing on?! I’ll be here all night..don’t forget to tip your waitresses.