Is Valentine’s Day an anti-male holiday?

Is Valentine’s Day an anti-male holiday?

I guess for some men, it is. Via Dr. Helen, I found a post from a man who thinks that men should boycott Valentine’s Day.

It’s February again. This can mean only one thing: the dreaded, compulsory Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. If you forgot, fear not: the onslaught of TV and radio commercials will remind you and remind you and remind you. There is no escaping them, and they all share a common theme: women are entitled to receive; men are compelled to give. Nothing quite captures the essence of love like female entitlement.

Ask the typical woman to define romance. I’ll lay odds that she’ll describe a man buying and/or doing something for her, without a word about spoiling him. Why such narcissism? Simple. Most women are raised to be self-absorbed takers, and insecure men continue to tolerate and enable them.

Are men worthless? Only if they never demand fairness and reciprocity from women — and many men don’t. Valentine’s Day, and all of its pathetic rituals, represents the failure of men to stand up to women — who, ironically, don’t respect these eunuchs and don’t sexually crave them, either.

Visualize the annual V-Day ritual: women clucking around their office water coolers and late-morning Pilates classes in anticipation of receiving Vermont Teddy Bears or long-stem roses, while men are wringing their hands, dreading this day, resenting the pressure, wondering what, if anything, would please their wives and girlfriends. Why such anxiety? No man wants to end up in the proverbial doghouse without sex.

What a pathetic picture: women using sex as a weapon; men living in fear. The evidence of “romance heaven” is clear: alimony and child-support cash registers are ringing nonstop, the marriage rate is falling, infidelity is rampant, the out-of-wedlock birthrate is skyrocketing, and children — society’s future parents — are more dysfunctional and immature than ever.

It goes on, but my general response to reading that was, Wow, what a bitter assclown. Guys, how much do you hate it when women (women meaning feminists) lump all men into a single category? It pisses me off and I’m a chick, so I can only imagine how infuriated I would be if I was a guy. Doesn’t it make you angry that, just because there are a few assholes out there, all men are therefore deemed assholes? Whenever a woman does that, I automatically think, Wow, what a bitter bitch.

That said, if it’s unfair to do it to men, it’s unfair to do it to women. I criticize women plenty on this blog, regular readers will know. But it’s just as unfair to say that all women are selfish, greedy, narcissistic, gold-digging bitches. Sure, those women exist, but I think that most women — along with most men — are by and large good people trying to do right by themselves and the people they love. So when guys start saying that all women are a certain way, my reaction is exactly the same as when the situation’s reversed. BITTER.

Look, I won’t argue that Valentine’s Day is overrated. Years that I have been single on Valentine’s Day have heard me griping that Valentine’s Day is actually Anti-Single Day. One of the things that annoys me most about Valentine’s Day is how what men are supposed to do is follow a very specific formula: buy her red roses and chocolates. Now, any gift from a man who loves you is nice, but if all your man can do is follow some cookie-cutter recipe, then Houston, we’ve got a problem. Romance to me is any gift, any plan, anything your significant other will do to show you that they care for you. You don’t have to necessarily go the Hallmark route on Valentine’s Day for it to be romantic.

Yes, I’m a girl, so who knows if my take on this will be accepted. But I don’t see what the big problem is with doing something special for the woman in your life on Valentine’s Day. Yes, Valentine’s Day is primarily a female holiday. But guys, come on — is it really that bad? We’re talking one day where you’re expected to be romantic. One day out of 365. Is it really that horrible?

Now, I am never really sure what to do for a guy on Valentine’s Day. From what I can tell, a lot of women face the same dilemma. I don’t think most women abstain from gift-giving on Valentine’s Day because they’re selfish, greedy, narcissistic, gold-digging bitches. I think they do it because they have no clue what to get their man. What do you get a guy for Valentine’s Day that’s still manly? Well, gee… I guess this teddy bear with the big red heart and pink letters spelling out “I LOVE YOU” is kind of masculine…

Most of the Valentine’s Day-oriented gifts are pretty feminine, and unless I’m mistaken, guys are thrilled about receiving flowers. I figure about the best a girl can do for her guy is cook for him. Food’s always good, right? But I know that when it comes time to buy gifts for the men in our lives on Valentine’s Day, my girlfriends and I are always calling each other, stressed out, because what do you get a guy on a holiday that’s pretty much a feminine holiday? It’s tough. I honestly think that may be why a lot of women aren’t really big Valentine’s Day gift givers, especially if they are generous the rest of the year.

No, I am not getting a gift for Matt this Valentine’s Day. Yes, he is getting one for me. Why, you may wonder? Is it because I’m a greedy, selfish bitch? Ahem. NO, it is because I do not have a lot of money to splurge with right now, one, and because I have no clue what to get him, two. (See above.) The day after Valentine’s Day, and the day after that as well, I’m cooking for him. I do what I can for him, and he does what he can for me. Neither one of us complains because, guess what? That’s how it goes. When I cook for Matt, it’s not about me. It’s about him, and how much I know he appreciates those rare, home-cooked meals. (After the chow hall, they’re like Heaven.) Likewise, when he does something special for me, I highly doubt he does it for him. We do these things for each other, because we want to make each other happy. Valentine’s Day falls into that category. I reiterate: what is so horrible about that?

Another valid point that could be made about Valentine’s Day is the chivalrous nature of the holiday. I seem to remember that giving gifts and going above and beyond was how dating went. Men were supposed to do those things, and supposed to do them on a regular basis, as a way of courting the woman they were interested in. How this may change once you’ve married said woman might be a different matter, but the argument could be made that perhaps men need to quit whining about being expected to do so much for women. Once upon a time, it wasn’t seen as unfair.

Celebrating Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be some extravagant show of love and romance. But yes, I do believe that couples should celebrate it, in whatever way is most romantic to them. That doesn’t necessarily mean going the 1-800-FLOWERS route of roses and chocolates, but boycotting Valentine’s Day altogether just because you find it unfair is, in my opinion, ridiculous. What Valentine’s Day really boils down to is celebrating the love you have for your significant other. If you find that so bad, then I think the problem is with you, and not the holiday.

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  • Chris M-G says:

    The problem with Valentine’s Day is the same problem with nearly every other American holiday in this day and age- according to the retail world and the media its only real use is “there’s a buck to be made here!” One holiday ends, and the next holiday (even if it’s more than a month off) is already up on display in stores on the day after. It’s a neverending cycle.

    As for those who cry unfair, they should look at how the Japanese do it. Their Valentine’s Day actually has the women presenting chocolate to the men- and then a month later on White Day (March 14th) the men reciprocate with gifts, not necessarily chocolate in return. If anything else, it would be an excuse for another exorbitant retail blitz between Valentine’s Day and Easter.

  • EJ Gungor says:

    The problem with boycotting V-Day is the potential of Jodie stealing your girl by delivering a kickass gift while you stand on principle. I’ve played both roles before so it really comes down on how much you want to keep the woman who may be the object of desire for many men. If the woman is desirable enough, you have to factor this into your attitude–all things equal, looking like a cheapskate is not very attractive.

    That said, I don’t think it’s incumbent for the woman to give the man anything more than her attention and appropriate loving behavior. Although getting V-day candy is pretty cool, like the hard candy hearts of ropes of red licorice. Flowers are ok too as long as its not some plant that you have to care for.

    V-Day like sweetest day and the other silly holidays are just wildcards in the path of romance. Some times you hold trump, and if you don’t you have to pay more.

  • Steve L. says:

    My wife has given me teddy bears several times over the years. I don’t have any problems with it at all.

  • The problem really lies when guys regulate romance to one day. It’s something we should be doing throughout the year – especially if you are married.

    I could really care less whether I get anything – it isn’t my “love language” anyway.

  • Mat says:

    I don’t think it’s necessarily an anti-male holiday. It is what you make of it. It can be pretty neat if planned accordingly. Unfortunately, feminnazi libtard groups are totally against it and call it Vagina Day and play the Vagina Monologues on campus (it’s playing on this campus as well, unfortunately…). But then I never really paid attention to those jackasses, so it’s all good…

  • Kortnee says:

    I’ll be honest, Valentine’s Day was always something of a barometer for relationships for me. Romance isn’t a big thing for me most of the year (which disappoints my very romantic husband, who loves being romantic) but some effort one day a year isn’t asking too much. There were the boyfriends who broke up with me the day before so they didn’t have to buy me a gift and the one who had a rose sent to me every hour, starting with my cup of coffee at 7 am until the last one on my plate at dinner (which I found by following a treasure hunt with clues left at different spots that were important in our relationship). Yep, I married the romantic one. The gesture wasn’t cliche or expensive but it meant more to me than any of the huge teddy bears I’d received in the past.

    As much as I hate to admit it, gifts are my “love language”. For my husband, it’s words of praise and physical touch. I received a very cute tiger wearing red shorts and red boxing gloves that sings “Eye of the Tiger”, a song that means a lot to me, on Sunday. I got live flowers that are guaranteed to keep blooming for the next 10 weeks today and my son is insistent that he’s going to get me a gift too.

    I like displaying my gifts, and the one from my son will be just as precious to me as the one from my husband. My gift to my husband will not be one that he can display but it’ll be one he can appreciate.

    So, no, Valentine’s Day isn’t anti-man but some women are. Those women will use Valentine’s Day to beat men the same way certain men will use portions of the Bible to beat women.

  • Jarrod says:

    I went to the Vagina Monologues at school last year. I didn’t know what it was and was kinda expecting something totally different. Based on expectations, it was an unpleasant surprise.

    Valentine’s day is a phony retail conspiracy between Big Flower and Big Chocolate. I think we need congressional hearings…and then someone needs to be bailed out just for the hell of it.

    A Valentine’s day gift for a dude should be basketball or hockey tickets for a game in the near future (that he can go to w/ the boys…not his lady). Maybe a good book.

    Either way, it usually ends in some humping, so it’s all good as far as I’m concerned.

  • Rob Farrington says:

    I’m in danger of rolling my eyes so much at that comment on Helen’s site that I’ll have to bang my head against my computer desk tomorrow morning, in order to get them both pointing forwards again.

    My fiance really is my best friend. She doesn’t expect me to jump through hoops or to go through the motions in order to prove how much I love her – she already knows, and I know that she loves me, too.

    Our cards to each other probably won’t get to each other on the day – I’m in the UK and she’s in the US – but it doesn’t matter one bit. It’s just the thought that’s important.

    Matt sounds like the kind of guy who I’d love to marry any daughter of mine. I’m really happy for you both.

  • Rignerd says:

    I have a couple of issues with V day.

    One thing I don’t like is the demand that I be romantic, right now and every body is watching. I am a romantic at heart but if you tell me to be romantic, then I can’t do it. I give my wife great gifts (she told me so) and we have plenty of romantic moments, but on my schedule, from my true emotions. Not on a schedule and not pre-printed, packaged in red cellophane or on sale.

    Another thing I dislike is the idea that if a guy can’t come up with a genuine sentiment then just spending a lot of money is a good substitute, and the more wasteful the better. A perfect example in my mind is cut flowers. I love flowers, but nothing depresses me more than seeing a vase full of flowers start to wilt.

    Maybe there should be an exception for guys like me. If you have told your wife that you love her more than once a day for more than 350 days a year, then on valentines day you get credit for it.
    Conversely if you only express that you love her on Valentines day, then you had better make sure you cover all the bases because it has to last 364 days.

    So what have we done for Valentines day this year?
    1. Pay too much for dinner – Check.
    2. Cut flowers – check.
    3. Watch a romantic movie – check (fireproof)

  • BZZZzzz... says:

    First time caller, and I love what I’m seein’ so far,BUT

    your signature pic is you holding a laser-sighted sidearm, and you don’t buy ammo for your man on this and every holiday?

  • CaptDMO says:

    Gee, why should I boycott what I don’t recognize in the first place?
    Thank your “activist” girlfriends for their cute co-option
    of Valentines Day into V-Day, and promoting it as yet another excuse to celebrate oppression of their almighty vaginas with The Vagina Monologues, if not inversely complaining about not enough cash spent on swag> to “prove his love”.

    There’s a REASON that they are increasingly becoming long, drawn out monologues. Feel free to petition for the repeal of legislated attitudes that have made the original concept of St. Valentines “Day”, that the “retail” community, as well as the ASSUMED “entitled”, have abused into meaningless analog.

  • Andy Orlovsky says:

    This is another situation which begs this question for feminists

    Which man is more likely to rape or abuse you?

    a) A man who wants to make a livelong commitment to you, marry you, and raise a family with you.

    b) A man who wants to have sex with you a few times and then move on when he becomes bored with you

    Feminists like to say their against rape and violence but they always seem to be attacking Man A, by declaring things like traditional marriage and valentines day to be “patriarchal” and “oppressive”. Then they encoaurage women to just have fun and engage in the hookup culture, which just leads them to getting invovled with Man B.

  • Bob says:

    I’m not really all that against it, but the crass commercialism of V-Day is what irritates me. All the “If you LOVE her, you’ll buy DIAMONDS!” kinds of ads, etc. Things that would normally cost $20 now cost $100 because of the unavoidable Valentines Day Markup. Dinner reservations are expensive and difficult to get. “Cute stuff” is sold out.
    I’m already romantic 330+ days out of the year. Perhaps TOO romantic, because she has come to expect the frequent romantic gestures.
    We’ve already seen Fireproof. Mostly irrelevant because we’ve already been doing LOTS of those things before I even knew “The Love Dare” existed and we’re happier than two kittens in a yarn basket.
    Besides, this year I have to spend V-Day doing final preparations for a 2 week business trip I have to go on. The fiancee and I will be plenty happy just hanging out together and goofing off.

  • J David says:

    “Romance” co-opted IS NOT ROMANCE at all. The fact that women buy into it, when it is actually the EXACT OPPOSITE of what they claim to want(spontaneous displays of affection/desire/heat)demonstrates that they are THE gullible sex, period. It permanently seals the reality into blatantly obvious fact.

    It will duly LIMIT what it is they claim to want(“romance”)to the one day they force men to recognize it, at least in those hardier souls who resent being forced.

    It gives liars and cads among men a day to really shine(or Shinola), and encourages the thrifty to violate principles of responsibility at their accepted place as family leader.

    It the THE Hallmark holiday, literally, for femi-nazis, and the feminized(and sinking) culture of America.

  • I R A Darth Aggie says:

    I have no clue what to get him, two.

    You don’t? at all? really? seriously? not even slightly?

  • J David says:

    LOVE ME(and pay my extortion price), you insensitive male bastard, or I’ll make you pay!

  • I pretty much ignore Valentine’s Day. My wife doesn’t like cut flowers, and we are both on a low-carb diet (since 1999).

    We may go out to a fancy restaurant sometime this month, but not on Valentine’s Day. I’m going to be teaching a Texas Concealed Handgun License Class that day (it’s been sold out for over 3 weeks now…), and my wife will be helping me with the notary work. When I get home (late that night), she will rub my feet (special treat after spending all day teaching) — and I will rub her feet, just like I have done every night that we have been together in our 16 year marriage.

    We also pretty much ignore ALL other holidays, with the exception of Independence Day (and that’s mainly because my Lions Club runs the Plano TX Independence Day Parade). We also run the Christmas Parade, but not actually on Christmas Day. I celebrate Christmas Day by sleeping late.

    For other holidays, I will probably schedule CHL classes, because I need to make hay while the sun shines, and the Libs are about to make the sun set and stay that way for a LONG time.

  • Jesse in South FL says:

    My thoughts:

    I’m a 28-yr old single guy and this time of year I’m always glad I’m single. I find that many women that I have known for years of have grown up with around here (rural South Florida) USUALLY fall into two categories: the gold-digging, money-grubbing ones or the ones who, even though they have good intentions, are too oblivious to these sort of matters to realize the double-standard for things like this. They never stop and think of how ridiculous the whole Valentine’s Day thing is. They never realize that (typically) their man didn’t get them a gift because he loves them, he’s getting them a gift because if he’s in the doghouse if he doesn’t. I always say “Is it REALLY romance when a guy buys you something only so you won’t treat him like crap and tell all your girlfriends about what a deadbeat he is?”. They say “No, he’s buying it because he loves me”, to which I reply “Why can’t he just do that anytime? When he suprises you on a run-of-the-mill Friday evening in August with some jewelry, flowers, and a nice night out on the town, THEN it’s because he loves you.”

    And you know something? If they REALLY loved their man, they wouldn’t WANT him to spend his hard-earned money on some frilly crap out of some sort of sense of obligation. Then there’s the double-standard…this time of year, EVERY wacky-FM DJ pulls out some stats about how on average men spend X amount on their partners while women spend Y amount, and it’s usually at least a 2:1 ratio. Do women care? I’m sure some do, but not many that I know. They just say “hey, it’s not our fault that our stuff costs more”.

    Then there’s the whole quasi-prostitution angle in play here. You know what I’m talking about. It typically applies to couples who’ve been together for a while whose sex life may have dwindled a bit. Those guys love it, because Valentine’s Day is basically a guaranteed “you get to have sex” night. The man just has to follow the rules, buy the requisite flowers/candy/cards/dinner/jewelry combo, and as long as they don’t screw it up, they’ll get to have sex. I’d like to think it’s not as simple as that, but it pretty much is.

    As far as what to get a guy for Valentine’s Day. Well, as for me, I don’t want anything. I never want gifts, be it Christmas, birthdays, etc. If it makes you happy to give me a gift, then by all means I’ll accept it whole-heartedly because I know it brings you joy to do something for me, but if I had a choice I’d say don’t bother with anything at all. I work two jobs seven days a week…if I need/want something, I’ll buy it. If I can’t afford it, then I don’t need it anyway. I don’t want somebody I love to spend their money on me when I can do it for myself. All I would probably want for Valentine’s Day is for my girlfriend to tell me she loves me and is glad she’s with me, then we could go out and do something simple and fun together and make an effort to not get annoyed or bicker with one another.

    Of course, all of this may explain why I’m single!

  • Jesse in South FL says:

    Sorry, massive spelling/grammar errors above. I was in a hurry…please believe I’m not this dumb usually.

  • Melinda P says:

    I have to say that I really don’t mind Valentine’s Day because of the idea of the day. What truly bothers me are all of the commercials that tell a man that they MUST buy roses or jewelry for their woman! I don’t need jewelry to know that my husband loves me. I’m allergic to flowers, so that’s never been an option. My husband doesn’t need to spend tons of money on me at all, whether it’s Valentine’s day, Christmas, my birthday, etc.

    Last year, we decided to buy new sheets for our bed as our gifts to one another. It was something that we needed, and we both agreed on that. Some years, when finances have been a little tight, we’ve just gotten cards for one another. This year, we’re taking our boys to the Auto Show and then out to dinner as a family. My husband and I will get each other cards, but it’s more important to me to spend the day with the people that I love.

  • physics geek says:

    I always get my spouse a card, plus ones for her from the kids. Maybe I’ll add something small, like a pretty picture frame or cute stuffed critter. But by and large, it’s not that big a deal. If you’re not trying to be romantic on a semi-regular basis with your SO? That IS a big deal.

    That said, I’m glad that my wife feels the same way. Someone I know has a spouse who, err, cuts him off (so to speak) if he doesn’t shell out big bucks on jewelry/flowers/vacation/you name it. It works for him, I guess, but I personally wouldn’t want to be married to a hooker. And really, what else can you call someone who will only have sex with you when you spend a buttload of cash on them?

  • Tomare Utsu Zo says:

    “but boycotting Valentine’s Day altogether just because you find it unfair is, in my opinion, ridiculous.”

    What would you suggest is the proper response to something you consider ‘unfair’? Going to the courts and having them declare it against the law? Convincing the Legislature the ban it? What is a person to do when they disagree with other individuals freely making choices you disagree with?

  • Having been married for some time, now coming up on 19 years, my much-better-half and I have moved on from the so-called expected Valentine’s Day offerings.

    For starters, more than 15 years ago she forbade me – forbade me – from every buying her flowers on Valentines Day. Or on Mother’s Day (we have two boys, 13 & 6). Why? She knows well that the laws of supply and demand mean prices rise ridiculously. For the price of a dozen roses on one day, for example, I purchase flowers for her five or six other times during the year. Take, for example, a few weeks ago when an ice storm passed through our area; who would expect to get flowers then? No one, but she got a bouquet from me.

    And as for gifts, she doesn’t wear jewelry often, so she’s told me not to buy her any. Fragrances? She has certain allergies that make it hard to buy for. A night out? Now we’re talking, but as she isn’t a fan of crowds, we’ll have a night out…. but certainly not this weekend.

    So she’ll get cards from the boys and me (the youngest making his own), and soon a night out, but we really do not make a big deal in our house over this holiday.

  • J David says:

    Jesse in South FL sounds like me at 28, and unless he plays *the game* like he believes in it(whether he does or not), he’ll be sounding like me 17 years from now…still single. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I still enjoy it as much as I did 17 years ago.

    Romance is mainly about being a good liar to woman, but meaning well(or not, but being a good liar anyway). Put on a convincing show, use the right emotion-evoking words, have a fantastic income and an iron-clad pre-nup and you’ll stay married always.

    Short of that, well…Good Luck!

  • Jesse in South FL says:

    J David, I’ve already braced myself for that possibility and I’m ok with it, maybe because I hold on to this idea that I’ll eventually branch out of my crummy town and find a real person of the fairer sex out there who isn’t an MTV-watching, tanning-bed-addicted mouth-breather (I’m sure they’re out there in the world, just not around here!).

    Hell, I had a pretty good girlfriend recently, but for reasons too complicated to go into (and who would give a shit anyway?), she broke up with me. So, were we still together, I probably would’ve spent a lot of money and attention on her, but it would have been because I wanted to because I cared about her. But, I guess I lucked-out because she dumped me right before Christmas. So not only do I get to save my money on Valentine’s Day, but I also got to take her Christmas present back to the jewelry store for a refund and bought myself some new clothes and a watch. Score!

  • J David says:

    I have saved incalculable amounts of money since I stopped actively dating many years ago. My heart has a limited capacity for breakage, and I hate slaving my life away to please the un-pleasables. If there is a *someone* particular we will find each other, but if there isn’t then I’d be wasting my time, money, psychic energy, and present contentment churning my life up completely in vain. The Apostle Paul said, “…I have learned that in whatsoever state I find myself therewith to be content…”. I’ll take some of that.

  • Jesse in South FL says:

    Damn, right on man.

  • Daniel says:

    We had this discussion at work today. Myself and another person both agreed on the response “You don’t have to buy anything.”

  • Chuck says:

    I can’t believe you have the audacity to say this:
    “No, I am not getting a gift for Matt this Valentine’s Day. Yes, he is getting one for me. Why, you may wonder? Is it because I’m a greedy, selfish bitch? Ahem. NO, it is because I do not have a lot of money to splurge with right now, one, and because I have no clue what to get him, two.”

    So men are supposed to come up with something original, besides chocolate and flowers, but you can’t splurge $20 for a simple romantic gesture? Worse than that, you can’t put forth the effort to come up with something to buy him? And cooking for him is nothing different from any other day is it? So what it boils down to is V-Day is just the status quo for women whereas men have to come up with something charming to give their women.

    “But I know that when it comes time to buy gifts for the men in our lives on Valentine’s Day, my girlfriends and I are always calling each other, stressed out, because what do you get a guy on a holiday that’s pretty much a feminine holiday? It’s tough. I honestly think that may be why a lot of women aren’t really big Valentine’s Day gift givers, especially if they are generous the rest of the year.”

    Ha. You’re complaining because of the feminine construct of this holiday you’re unable to figure out a gift to get your man. V-Day being a feminine holiday sets the bar low for you and your ilk; suck it up and go buy something. You’re just being cheap; just like a woman.

    The utter lack of insight of women during this holiday is appalling. Women have accepted that this is their holiday, with the help of willing beta providers. Most men pay a majority of the household bills, a majority of eating expenses, a majority of entertainment expenses and we’re supposed to deliver the goods on yet another consumer-driven holiday? All for what? So that our woman knows we love her? How about if I just tell her that, and we’ll see what happens?

    This year I bought my girlfriend a bottle of wine and some cheese. We stayed at home, watched a movie, and I got my dick wet. What did she get me? Nothing. Not that I’m surprised, but she retorted when I asked why I didn’t get a gift,”It’s a girl’s holiday.” And there you go. From the mouths of babes.

  • Sean says:

    Cassy you want the best idea for your Boyfriend(or Husband) take the day and treat him like a king. My GF does it and I love it(once in a while)Valentines night is hers and the weekend day after is for me.

  • Scott says:

    Now, I am never really sure what to do for a guy on Valentine’s Day. From what I can tell, a lot of women face the same dilemma. I don’t think most women abstain from gift-giving on Valentine’s Day because they’re selfish, greedy, narcissistic, gold-digging bitches. I think they do it because they have no clue what to get their man. What do you get a guy for Valentine’s Day that’s still manly?


    But I know that when it comes time to buy gifts for the men in our lives on Valentine’s Day, my girlfriends and I are always calling each other, stressed out, because what do you get a guy on a holiday that’s pretty much a feminine holiday? It’s tough. I honestly think that may be why a lot of women aren’t really big Valentine’s Day gift givers, especially if they are generous the rest of the year.

    This kind of an excuse (i.e. ‘I didn’t know what to get you’) will land a guy in the doghouse for a solid week. This ‘punishment’ would be accompanied by a stern lecture about how ‘you just don’t listen, and if you did, you would KNOW what to get me.’ How about getting him something he would like (you DO pay attention to what he likes, don’t you?) or something that would be meaningful to him? It’s really not that hard and the ‘female nature’ of the holiday shouldn’t make it any harder for you. Cooking dinner, by the way, is a good start…

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