It’s sad that this even must be said. But apparently, it must be. Over at Feministe, Jill is upset over a sticky little situation where two trans women caused a stir by going topless at a beach in Delaware. They weren’t arrested, though, because it’s only illegal for women to be topless, and these two are men.

Rehoboth Beach in Delaware isn’t a topless beach — but a few transgender women caused a stir by treating it like one.

Police say passers-by complained after they removed their tops and revealed their surgically enhanced breasts over Memorial Day weekend. A lifeguard asked them to put their tops back on. They initially refused, but covered up before police arrived.

Even if they hadn’t, though, Police Chief Keith Banks notes they were doing nothing illegal. Since they have male genitalia, they can’t be charged with indecent exposure for showing their breasts. Banks says there’s no need for a specific law to address the issue.

Rehoboth Beach commissioner Kathy McGuiness isn’t so sure. She says the matter will be discussed at a town hall meeting next week.

I’ll start by saying that I agree with Commissioner McGuiness. If you’re a dude who has had breast implants, then you shouldn’t be running around topless either if a beach is not a topless beach.

Now, Jill is upset for reasons I can’t really understand. She’s glad that they weren’t arrested — but she’s upset that their “gender” wasn’t recognized. I’m curious. If their supposed female gender was recognized, then they should’ve been arrested. But Jill doesn’t want them to be arrested because they are transgendered… because apparently anyone who is trans should be allowed to break the law?

This kind of thing makes me glad to live in a place where toplessness is equal-opportunity and not illegal. But that aside, the whole story is weird. I always thought that the problem with female toplessness was OMG BOOBS! But here we have female toplessness and boobs, but it’s not illegal because there’s no vagina involved? (As an aside, how does anyone even know what’s in the pants of the topless trans women?). Of course it’s a good thing that the trans women weren’t arrested, but it’s kind of cold comfort when the reason behind it is, basically, “You aren’t really women.” Wouldn’t this be easier if we just stopped freaking out about boobs and bodies, and if we all just agreed that if some people can have their chests on display in public, everyone can?

First of all, I personally disagree with public nudity. I also do not consider a man’s bare chest public nudity. I do not, however, have any issues with a particular city or town allowing female toplessness. I don’t want to have to see topless women when I go to the beach. That’s the beauty of this country, see — if I don’t like public female toplessness, I can move to a city where it’s illegal. Jill, who likes public female toplessness, can move to a city where it’s allowed. It isn’t a one way or the other situation, although with liberals like Jill it’s always the case where it has to be their way or the highway.

As for the “how do you know what’s in the pants of a trans woman” question, I’d imagine that their (ahem) packages were visible in their bikinis.

Which brings me to my final point. The police officer was correct in this case, and Jill has no reason to be offended. Let’s establish a basic anatomical fact, here and now: if you have a penis, you are a man. END OF STORY! I know, I know, this will immediately cause me to be denounced as transphobic and homophobic and a bigot and a prude and all of the other fun things that feminists and gay rights activists like to smear people with when confronted with anatomical fact. I get that sometimes a dude thinks he’s a woman. And yeah, he might have surgery to disfigure himself to look like one. But the anatomical truth is that if you have a dick, you are NOT a freakin’ woman. If you have a vagina, you are NOT a man. It’s that simple.

And frankly, I still don’t believe having a sex change makes you a different gender. If you’re a guy who chops his penis off and has a vagina sculpted there instead, you’re just a guy who permanently disfigured himself. It’s like I said before:

Just because you castrate some guy and carve a vagina into him and pump him full of hormones, how does that make him female? There is more to a vagina than what you see in Playboy, biologically speaking. Most of it is inside our bodies, not outside. I don’t think doctors can add on a cervix, or a uterus, or ovaries, or fallopian tubes, or any of that kind of thing — just like you can’t add on a prostate or testis to a woman.

I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that organ donations don’t normally include uteruses, or cervixes, or fallopian tubes to give to men who want to become women. My point is that the anatomical truth stands. You can do whatever you want to your body, you can carve it up however you like, but biologically speaking, you remain the gender you were born with. Don’t blame me for not being in complete and utter denial of a little thing called science. Remember Thomas Beatie, the so-called pregnant man? It wasn’t actually a man who got pregnant, it was a woman who chopped off her boobs, dressed like a dude, and took testosterone therapy… until she decided she wanted to have a kid.

When she decided to carry their child, she said herself that she didn’t have to take any estrogen or any other kind of feminine hormones. She simply stopped her testosterone therapy, and boom, her body regulated itself, she was having periods again, and was able to get pregnant.

I’d say that’s a pretty compelling argument that sex changes don’t actually change your sex. You’re just wearing a permanent costume.

It’s a costume. It’s a guy dressing up like a girl, or a girl dressing up like a guy. And hey, they have every right to do so. I don’t think there should be any rules against it, nor do I think they should be harassed or intimidated or anything of that nature. If that’s what makes them happy, then go for it. But let’s get real here, and call it what it is.

These two weren’t arrested because they were men, despite their breast implants (and probably countless other gender modifications). Regardless of how much people like Jill huff and puff about it, the fact remains that if you have a penis, you are a MAN.