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That is the question posed in an article in the Daily Mail I came across.
Is short hair a conscious – or unconscious – signal that a woman is not interested in sex? The question was raised this week by sex therapist and former comedienne Pamela Stephenson, who believes ‘deliberately reducing one’s attractiveness’ can sometimes be a way of repelling men’s interest. We asked a series of writers, experts and even a celebrity hairdresser for their views, with fascinating results …
They then proceed to have various women blather on about the historical importance of long hair — how long hair always symbolizes health, youth and vitality, how men are subconsciously predisposed to women with long hair, how it’s an expression of femininity, and so on. Conversely, short hair is meant to be a statement. It says that the short-haired women is defying stereotypes, she doesn’t care about finding a man, she doesn’t want or need sex, and she’s making a statement!
Um, really? Maybe in psycho-babble world that’s the truth, but for most real women, I find that hard to believe. Only one person in the article summed up the short hair vs. long hair debate correctly, in my opinion, and that’s celebrity hairdresser Richard Ward (emphasis mine):
Does short hair mean that a woman has given up on sex? Absolutely not.
But it might mean there are more important things to her than attracting a man.
The British male, in particular, is an unimaginative beast.
He doesn’t look at a woman’s chic and sleek new cut and think how fabulously fashionable it is.
He doesn’t assess its softly cut layers and think how perfectly it frames her features.
All he sees is the absence of the long mane that he instinctively equates with ‘youth’ and ‘sex’.
So, if a woman is looking for a man, she’s not going to cut her hair off.
It’s a fact that long hair has a broader appeal to the opposite sex – I’d say nine out of ten men prefer long hair to short – which means long-haired ladies are more likely to catch a guy’s eye.
Bingo! Somebody give this guy a cookie.
A lot of women don’t get that men don’t care how hot that Rihanna hair cut is right now. They don’t see that chic Katie Holmes bob. And when they see long-haired women, they don’t see layers or split ends or side parts. Women look at fashion magazines and celebrity tabloids. They see pictures of celebrities looking stylish, confident, and trendy with their chopped tresses and think, “Ooh! I want that too!” Maybe it’s a spur-of-the-moment thing; maybe they’ve wanted to cut their hair for a while because it’s a hassle, or they think it’ll look more professional shorter, or whatever. But I don’t think there’s many women out there who think to themselves, “Yes… I am going to cut my hair off so that I can have less sex.” Most of the time, women get the short haircuts they do because they think it’s cute, hassle-free, and stylish.
And, just like Mr. Ward said, men do not notice how stylish the cut is. They don’t notice that this short haircut is one that every celebrity is wearing in the pages of People magazine. They don’t know that Cosmo told their girlfriend that short hair is the sexy, sassy do. They just look at it and think, “Hot.” or “Not.” And while yes, men primarily do find long hair more attractive, it isn’t as if a smoking hot woman with, say, a sharp bob cut is going to have any problems finding a man. The article phrases it as if short hair means that not only is the woman completely shunning her sexuality, but it means that men will likewise shun her because it’s such a turn-off.
I’m just having a hard time buying that. But hey, apparently cutting your long hair off means you’re making a statement, ladies. Thoughts?
Having worn my hair everywhere from an inch long to down to my waist, I’ve probably got a decent point of view on this. I got more attention from the opposite sex with short hair. I didn’t do it to make a statement any more than I am wearing it long currently to make a statement. (Although I do enjoy the shock value when I cut over a foot off the length.) When it is short, it is easy to take care of. It also allows for more freedom in the bedroom.
1. Take the “British” off of it. Regardless of nationality, men are an overwhelming disappointment to the lady who’s spent some extra cash having her mane chiseled down “artistically.” I don’t care how sensitive you think he is, there’s something in each haircut you wanted him to notice that he didn’t notice.
2. At my age (42), when a lady gives off vibes she’s not interested in a gentleman, four out of five of us will have the good sense to say “no accounting for lousy taste” and move on, with the one out of five grasping at straws ready to do ANYTHING to make her interested.
3. Cut my age in half, and down there, the ratio flips around. Eighty percent of the studs have an insatiable desire for the apathetic and unattainable.
4. Too many women find out too late how the male mind works, and then make the mistake of applying those lessons throughout life. And so it becomes a semi-regular event that the shorter ‘do is used as a seduction device…thou shalt be interested in me, because I am NOT interested in you. With tragic results. I used to adore Lori Laughlin and Jeanne Tripplehorn. And, believe it or not, between ’93 and ’96 Hillary Clinton found a way to shed what little sex appeal she might’ve had. Go on, find some seventeen-year-old pics of Arkansas’ First Lady before lynching me for that remark.
5. Continuing with that thought…women don’t really dress or apply makeup or get their hair cut to please men. They do it to please other women. If that were not true, miniskirts and go-go boots would still be in style.
7. The researchers are being clinical-minded, to excess, when they talk about “wanting sex.” Note the hairdresser discussed in the article who says most of his customers who want their hair chopped are already in a stable relationship. Long hair isn’t a sign of wanting sex; it’s a sign of being in the market (or rather, short hair is a sign of not being in the market).
8. If three women in a clique are not in the market, and a fourth member of the clique is, the three are not going to be very nice to the one.
9. Women are vastly more sensitive to clique-politics than men. Evolution has molded and shaped the female side of the gender to live within the village walls, while us men run around outside the walls and do the hunting. That’s why we’re better at burping and farting. That’s also why the most independent-minded lady will sit with a fashion magazine and comment with genuine interest that this is “in” and that is “out”; and the most peer-pressure-susceptible dude, even, will respond to this with a quick change of subject, and eyeball-roll, or both.
10. A beautiful woman’s hair is a wonderful thing. Fact is, very often, once it’s gone you suddenly realize you never understood how much it contributed to her overall beauty, until it was no longer there. It’s easy to underestimate this. It’s practically impossible to overestimate this.
11. Obviously, in certain situatios, pointing out #10 will lead to a dude sleeping on the couch for several nights in a row.
12. Among the misunderstood things about men, women, and the relationship between the two — MOST of the misunderstood things, arise from certain other things not being pointed out because some guy was afraid of sleeping on the couch. This is one of them.
Thatisall.
Kortnee says: At one point, my hair was almost to the backs of my knees. It has also always been really thick. When my hair was at its longest I was having migraines and spinal issues with my neck. The doctor recommended I cut my hair shorter. I chopped off about 3 feet and felt so much better.
That was the medical reason.
As I’ve grown older and more confident in my self, I’ve stopped wearing styles that hide my face. My hair has also gotten progressively shorter. The shorter styles flatter my face more so I’ve actually gotten more attention with shorter hair. Is it the confidence or the hair? Who knows but I’m betting on the confidence.
Does hair have anything to do with my sex life? Well, not really, I guess. My husband requested that I don’t shave my head but, other than that, he thinks I’m sexy no matter how I’ve styled my hair. Well, at least, that’s what he says and it’s never ended with him sleeping on the couch. š I will say, with shorter hair, he’s a lot less likely to lean on it and kill the mood.
Just another example of women acting according to how they want men to be rather than how men really are.
J David says: Morgan K. Freeburg, NAILS IT on #6, and Deuce Geary sums that point, and all others nicely. It isn’t about what men want, but about what women WANT men to want(they seem to have a biological mandate that requires them to try to change men to fit their own ideal picture of how they see their “potential”). I, and most of the of the guys I’ve known in my 45 years prefer long hair. I’ve seen many a poll agreeing with that personal opinion over the years, and MSM attempts to further any form of feminism, however subtle, no longer fools me at all. Long hair is a uniquely feminine attribute, along with cleavage and broad hips. It is about biological-visual profile, and men get interested through the eyes first, not through emotions or intellect or chic. Biological drives don’t follow fashion, they haven’t changed at all since there first were people. Repeatedly telling oneself over and over that it is otherwise still won’t make it so…
J David says: Sarah Palin has LONG HAIR!
WayneB says: The researchers are being clinical-minded, to excess, when they talk about āwanting sex.ā Note the hairdresser discussed in the article who says most of his customers who want their hair chopped are already in a stable relationship. Long hair isnāt a sign of wanting sex; itās a sign of being in the market (or rather, short hair is a sign of not being in the market).
This is an extremely good point, and several years ago I found out the same thing. I ran into a woman who I had had a crush on in high school, and was astounded to find out that she had cut off all her long beautiful hair (was down to her waist in high school and college) till it was above her shoulders. I asked her about it and she replied that one of the happiest things she had done was to get her hair cut after she got married, because she didn’t need to impress anyone any more. I can tell you that I was very disappointed to see all that wonderful hair gone.
Richard says: If I make love to my firey red short haired vixen of a wife every night and make her toes curl with good sex; who cares? Ladies, don’t fall for it! This long hair vs. short hair sexual psychobabble has nothing to do with whether a women is truly womanly or not. Plus it completely ignores the fact that some men have preferences that have nothing to do with hair. Real beauty begins on the inside. Some women look great with long hair and some with short but it depends more on the hair’s condition and the woman’s personal style doesn’t it? Is unhealthy broken damaged hair down to there with big boobs attractive? I don’t think so. I’ll take a cute pixie with a pretty face over that mess any day! Should her hair just be long for the sake of being long no matter how it grows? No! Will this misogynistic stereotyping ever go away? I’d certainly hope so.
arminius says: The celebrity crushes of my life go like this:
Shirley Feeney (Cindy Williams)
Julie McCoy (Lauren Tewes)
Jane Wiedlin (The Go-Gos)
Martha Quinn (MTV)
Juliette Binoche
Colleen McMurphy (Dana Delaney)
Now, see if you can guess which side of the argument I am on.
arminius says: I definitely think that the overall style of the woman (or lack thereof) makes all the difference in evaluating this subject. And that is speaking as a man, not as a woman guessing what men want.
Short hair: Louise Brooks in Pandora’s Box? Smokin, smokin hot. Pretty much the very definition of hot. Before Louise Brooks, people didn’t know what hot was. And would there be a Louise Brooks or a Pandora’s Box if Louise Brooks had hair like Lillian Gish? You must be joking.
Short hair: Cagney and Lacey? Oh, no. No, no, no. This must be what all the stereotypes in the article are based on. No, no, no, God no. If women with short hair all had short hair like this, there would be no need to have this discussion.
Short hair: Like every Japanese woman between 18-24 on Planet Earth? Nuclear megaton hot.
Short hair: Like every indigenous woman between 42-55 in Garner, North Carolina? Zero degrees Kelvin non-hot. Scary. Makes me want to hide under the bed and never see again.
Short hair: Like Audrey Tautou? Like Meg Ryan in her prime? Like Rose McGowan in Doom Generation? HAWT, HAWT, HAWT.
Short hair: Like Hillary Swank at even her most fem? NAWT.
Individuals apparently matter more than generalizations.
Jen says: What I find hard to take about this article is how there is no mention of ladies cutting their hair short for their own pleasure. It’s all about what the man in question wants. Is self confidence not the most sexy trait of all? And a general love-me-or-leave-me attitude what most men find intriguing? Not whether she has long hair (which often looks silly on people over 25 if itās too long and easily becomes dry and nasty on anyoneās head). If you ladies lived your lives without questioning if your actions and appearance will gain approval, youād find yourselves with a lot more positive attention from everyone.
Vianka says: I’ve had very short hair since my late teens AND I wear glasses. I’ve NEVER had a problem getting boyfriends or attention from the opposite sex. I wonder why?
RAC says: First, Morgan K. Freeberg, you are a hero. What you say is so true. Point #10 is spot on, and I disagree with none of them.
Wayne, what your classmate said IS true of many women. I sure hope that her husband likes short hair, b/c I have listened to so many men who complain about their wife’s “comfortable” haircut that *they* hate. And the women who complain that their guys hate it! Surprise!
If a woman would wear long hair to please her b/f *before* marriage, it’s an unfair bait and switch tactic to start wearing short/stiff coiffed hair *after* he is committed.
And finally, what is this crap about women cutting their hair to look youger? So many times a drastic haircut brings instant aging, and even less dramatic ones usually reduce sensuality.
I once had ridiculously long hair (enough to donate eight pony tails worth). Right now it’s collar-bone length, but I’m thinking of getting a pixie cut now. Over the years I’ve cropped it, let it grow, crop it, let it grow…It’s been a vicious cycle to please my man. But what about pleasing me? It’s my hair, my body, my face, whatever. I will flaunt my sexuality whatever way I see fit. Currently, that means I can still be feminine, hot, and sensual with short hair. Sexuality is expressed in many ways. Hair is only part of it and this will give people to appreciate other nuances of my sexuality.
RAC says: Sara, you may “flaunt” your sexuality any way you please. I’m just tellin’ ya’ that the women with long hair don’t even have to try, and they’re hot. What do you call an ordinary woman who has grown out her hair? BEAUTIFUL!!!
RAC says: The first comment from Jennifer mentions that men gave her more attention with inch long hair. Jennifer must be very beautiful, b/c short hair DOES make a stunning woman look much more aproachable. The intimidation factor vanishes with the long hair.
CL says: My experience has been that women bold enough to go with shorter manes up top often invest just as much care and effort ensuring their entire bodies are nicely moisturized, pampered, trimmed, and ready to go. Short haired women are also all about the business in the bedroom. The world is a much more interesting & fun place with short haired women in it.
CL says: You looke great, the haircut is awesome. Yes, you are right, you are sexy, very very sexy.
“What I find hard to take about this article is how there is no mention of ladies cutting their hair short for their own pleasure. Itās all about what the man in question wants. Is self confidence not the most sexy trait of all?”
Oh, that’s an easy question: The answer is “No”. Do you really, honestly, think that what a man wants most in a woman is that she be concerned only about herself and not care about pleasing him? Really now. Suppose your boyfriend or husband said, “I don’t care that you don’t like it when I do X, I’m going to do it anyway because I feel like it.” Fill in whatever you like for X: heavy drinking, gambling, spending all his time with his friends instead of with you, etc. Would you find such “self-confidence” sexy and attactive? Or would you think he’s being a jerk?
I’m not saying that a woman should be expected to plan her entire life to please a man. But when you do something that you know he won’t like for purely selfish reasons, don’t delude yourself that it is anything other than purely selfish reasons.
Sarah says: “Suppose your boyfriend or husband said, ‘I donāt care that you donāt like it when I do X, Iām going to do it anyway because I feel like it.’ Fill in whatever you like for X: heavy drinking, gambling, spending all his time with his friends instead of with you, etc. Would you find such ‘self-confidence’ sexy and attactive? Or would you think heās being a jerk?”
Where this falls apart Jay, is that all of these examples are some undesirable behavior. Cutting your own hair is not a change that effects what should matter in a relationship. All of the things you mentioned are things a jerk would do, but how is getting a hair cut being a jerk?
If two people have been in a happy relationship for a while and a man all of a sudden does a complete about face and ignores his girlfriend altogether, gambles, and gets wasted all the time, he’s engaging in some destructive behavior. Surely you can see this is much more serious then adopting a bob.
I don’t think when my boyfriend decides he wants to wear facial hair for a change he’s being selfish. I think it makes him happy. And regardless of how much I like the various styles, I understand that it doesn’t change who he is or how he feels about me. If he didn’t afford me the same respect as I do him, I don’t think it would be a truly healthy relationship.
Hector says: The whole argument is stupid as far as I’m concerned. Who is going to convince me that Catherine Zeta Jones looks better with long hair than with a short bob? It’s very subjective. Nobody can scientifically prove such a subjective thing because it is in fact stereotypical nonsense
And personally, I’d much rather see Catherine Zeta Jones with a short bob, accentuating her neck and her beautiful features, than with the usual long hair. A man who thinks that an average woman with beautiful long hair is, as a result, a beautiful woman, does not know what he’s talking about. Yes hair can make you look better or worse, but it will never, ever, make you beautiful.
Love is not just what you want or expect, beauty is not black and white, as simple as that.
Kim says: “Do you really, honestly, think that what a man wants most in a woman is that she be concerned only about herself and not care about pleasing him? Really now. Suppose your boyfriend or husband said, āI donāt care that you donāt like it when I do X, Iām going to do it anyway because I feel like it.ā Fill in whatever you like for X: heavy drinking, gambling, spending all his time with his friends instead of with you, etc. Would you find such āself-confidenceā sexy and attactive? Or would you think heās being a jerk?
Iām not saying that a woman should be expected to plan her entire life to please a man. But when you do something that you know he wonāt like for purely selfish reasons, donāt delude yourself that it is anything other than purely selfish reasons.”
This reasoning makes no sense at all. Drinking, gambling, etc. are behaviors that have drastic influence on a relationship; getting a haircut is not.
If I had a guy who said something to me like, “No, I’m not drinking tonight while we are at the bar because I’m watching my diet” or “I don’t care if you like my hair long (I like guys with long hair), I’m cutting it because it’s a pain in the ass”, I would love it!!! I can’t stand men (or people in general) with no backbone.
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