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This is an incredibly difficult post for me to write as I have taken this case personally and identified with it, though I’ve attempted to not do so. I am saddened, angered, disheartened and confused on so many different levels, but Brittany Maynard has ended her life.
It has been nearly five months since I was diagnosed with Stage III hepatocellular carcinoma. It is now stage IV-A. I have undergone treatment after surgery after treatment, but I have never considered quitting. I cannot judge her as I know not the pain through which she was living, but I know that the very real possibility of dying has been one of such finality that even thinking of it causes breakdowns of immense proportions.
I think of my kids and my support system – the other half of my heart, Matt, my beloved Jonn, Kate, others who have consistently been there for me – and I can’t fathom leaving them and not taking advantage of every second because there will never be enough time. Choosing to not have more time just does not compute, nor does allowing my loved ones to see me give up.
I won’t judge Mrs. Maynard as only she could possibly know her reasons, but a quote of hers sticks out in my mind.
The logical mad scientist part of my brain wants to scream that not wanting to die doesn’t negate the fact that taking your own life is in fact suicide. I believe that may have been her way of convincing herself that what she was going to do wasn’t going to be considered cowardly or giving up, but my own mind is just incapable of understanding.
I can’t compare my own to her situation because they are not the same, but it wounds me that a soul would feel there’s nothing more for them in this life, that the alternative is the better choice. I pray that she finds peace in the ether, and even more so, that her family and loved ones have peace themselves.
Beannachtai de.
Kate says: Gra duit, mo chara!
(Um…See what I did there? Hehe)
ROS says: 🙂
Abelard Lindsey says: How is this any different than the people who jumped from the World Trade Center buildings rather than burning to death?
ROS says: I wasn’t aware that the victims of the 9/11 terrorist attacks were given the choice to spend more time with their loved ones. Just don’t.
SarahW says: The sort of cancer she has, has some end stage differences. It’s just beyond horrible, the pain is not fully controlled or controllable, and she would have died of her brain being pushed down her spine. If she delayed she would lose any control of that because there is no way for a doc to dit legally when it is at the worst part. The seizures, the headaches, the loss of ability to speak, understand, even keep her own personality or memories until the end …. Well, I dont judge her harshly.
ROS says: Nor do I. I just can’t understand not wanting the time now, while she was still cognizant. I also can’t understand the pain that would lead to that decision.
I truly do pray her soul is at peace.
Merle says: I’d hate to comment on her decision, since I don’t know how much pain she was in. All I know is that I have watched several family & friends die slowly of cancer and I understand not wanting to go on. Everyone has their own tolerance of pain, and quality of life is a BIG ISSUE for me.
Merle
Carol says: I understand your point, but she was an adult and she made an informed decision. I don’t consider it “giving up” at all. I also feel (based on what she said and wrote in her last days) that the “time with her loved ones” was almost to the point where the loved ones would be taking care of her while she was mostly unaware in a painkiller-induced haze. In other words, there wouldn’t likely be any more tender and touching moments with her loved ones. Like the previous commenter mentioned, it is no different than the World Trade Center jumpers. Death was imminent, and she chose a less drawn-out and painful path. Brittany said that her seizures had become more frequent. I’ve witnessed seizures, and they’re horrifying – and debilitating. They’re also a sign of tumor growth. Brittany also talked about excruciating headaches. Glioblastoma Multiforme (Brittany’s type of brain cancer) is a horrible way to die. Speaking for myself, I can have only sympathy for the choice she made – one that I would certainly consider if I were in the same situation. With all that said, however, I can also see this as a slippery slope. As long as it is an adult making an informed decision with no pressure from anyone else, I can accept it.
ROS says: How does one make an informed, valid decision with cancer of the brain?
Catherine says: It is ironic to read the various reactions from the supporters of “assisted suicide”….on one hand, they want to promote the philosophy behind their belief that humans should determine when and how they die…that it is all about personal dignity and choice done privately, without intervention from anyone. On the other hand, they are offended when these private “decisions” are opposed by people who don’t believe in suicide. Because the “privacy” ended when it’s pasted on the cover of People magazine and heralded around the media to be read and thought about by millions of people.
And here’s a question. Who now determines when ANYONE should die? The mother who is tired of her autistic child? The husband of an Alzheimer’s patient? The immature teenager pregnant with a 8 month old fetus? The annoyed girlfriend of a guy who cheated on her? Once you put humans in charge of decisions of life and death, you are opening Pandora’s box.
Gail Boer says: Exactly. What happens when someone in an insurance office decides it is inconvenient to pay out on Down’s syndrome kids.
Abelard Lindsey says: What about cryo-preservation as an option in these cases? That’s the option I’m choosing if i end up in this situation.
ROS says: I would like to be stuffed in The Thinker pose with a Tolstoy in my hand, then placed in a library doorway to freak people out.
Jodi says: snort! *cancer humor* 😉
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