Dating kind of sucks. I think we can all start there. As we can all recall, dating is awkward, painful and messy at best until you find the one. One key factor for me while dating became honesty. And in my experience, most people want the same, right? According to this Daily Beast commenter here, it is ridiculous to expect honesty in dating.

Somehow expecting ones date to be who they say they are is ridiculous. And following her bad logic is ridiculous. Because she is saying that it is ok to lie to your date. And any man who objects to being lied to is a hater. Another H word coming to mind: Hyporcrisy. See the transgender community wants (and deserves) to be treated with respect but refuses to extend that respect to others. Honesty in dating is something adults do and expect. Apparently that is ridiculous to the author and her friends.

Over the summer, transgender activist Zinnia Jones tweeted: “I don’t see a problem with telling straight guys who are exclusionary of trans women partners that they should try to work through that.”

I do. It is a simple answer: Ms. Jones, he is just not that into you. And if someone is trans, they can do that and find someone who loves them for who they are. For who they are. And the explanation of her really piss poor logic is well ridiculous.

Jones was not commanding anyone to sleep with transgender women, but she was suggesting that people could probably stand to examine their aversion to us as viable romantic options.

As we have seen in film and music lying usually does not end well. When gender issues are part of the picture, things become complicated. The name Teena Brandon aka Brandon Teena comes to mind. And his killers are in prison for life or death row for their horrible crimes.

Actress and Her Story star Jen Richards, for example, recalls spending a long, flirtatious flight with a man named Jim that ended in an invitation to have dinner. “One hour before we’re to meet at the restaurant, I get an email from Jim,” Richards wrote in an essay. “It read, in its entirety: ‘I just Googled your name. I didn’t realize what you were. I have no interest in that.’” The next time Richards met a man, she didn’t disclose, writing that it was “incredibly stupid and dangerous and, most of all, self-destructive” to not do so, but that she pushed forward anyway out of pain and anger—because the rejection from Jim had pushed her to a place where she “really didn’t care in that moment.”

This is insanity. To explain how wrongheaded Ms. Richards is, here is a scenario. My mom and her friends and peers adored Barry Manilow. Using Ms. Jones’ and the author’s logic, these ladies could demand and expect a date with Barry Manilow. Because they are into him, right? Well nobody in their right mind would say that. Because Barry Manilow like all of us has the right to choose who he dates. So do the men that these transgendered women want to date.

Here is the thing Ms. Zinnia Jones and her friends are missing: Honesty matters. Saying who you are means a better likelihood of a good dating outcome. Finding a person who likes you for you. Communication being clear is important too. Your nuanced discussion might happen if you communicate clearly and don’t sit in your silo full of SJW sanctimony. And making broad based statements like oh calling anyone who wants their female date to actually have womanly parts ridiculous is well ridiculous.